11
‘You’re a goddess.’ Flynn presses his hands together and gives me a bow as I close the door behind the last of the stragglers. Apart from Gertrude and Finbarr, still hovering by the lectern, watching us like hawks.
‘Don’t be daft,’ I say, laughing.
‘No, seriously, you handled that so well. It was good to see you standing up to Jamie.’
I blink in surprise. ‘I couldn’t let him blacken Pat’s name, or mess with our festival.’ My spirits lift as I think about what we could achieve. ‘I’m hoping if it goes well, we’ll get funding for more festivals throughout the year.’
‘That sounds great.’ Flynn gives me an encouraging smile.
‘Anyway, maybe Jamie thought he was helping. Probably heard a rumour and had to get his spoke in immediately.’ I shrug. ‘He tends to assume he knows best.’
Flynn keeps his eyes fixed on mine. ‘But he doesn’t. Especially when it comes to you. Only you know what’s best for you, Gracie.’ He swallows, eyes pleading. ‘Don’t let him convince you otherwise. Please.’
I jerk back, but I don’t respond. Because all I can think is you lost the right to give me relationship advice a long time ago. Then I look back and see Gertrude and Finbarr still hunched on their seats by the lectern, and still looking anxious and pale.
‘Right,’ I say, my voice flat. ‘Well, if you’re sure Pat’s not about to sell out to a plastics factory, we’d better go ease Gertrude’s worries before we leave.’
Finbarr frowns at Flynn a few minutes later, after he’s done his best to reassure them.
‘I’ve known Pat all his life, and I can’t believe he would do anything to harm Oakwood, but it sounds like you’re no wiser than we are as to what the future holds.’
‘I wouldn’t say that.’ Flynn looks at Finbarr and then over to Gertrude. ‘I can’t break Pat’s confidence, and there’s a lot to be worked out when he gets back from Spain. But I promise you both, my uncle cares about this village as much as you do. And so do I.’
‘Yes, but you’re not the one buying or selling,’ Gertrude snaps, then she turns to me and tilts her head. ‘Are you not with that Roche boy any more, Gracie?’
‘No, I’m not.’ I do a double take. I presumed she’d guessed that when I came home without him. And I was grateful she never mentioned him, as the thought of telling Gertrude, or anyone apart from Sarah, about Jamie and Olivia, made me feel like throwing up.
‘Good,’ she says firmly. She wipes her palms together as though she’s brushing away any trace of him. ‘Now why don’t you two head off and Finbarr and I will lock up.’
I think about asking her what she meant about plans for the library, but she looks wiped out, and she’s had more than enough upset – we all have – so I say thanks and tell her I’ll see her next week.
A wave of tiredness hits me when we get back to Hazel Cottage, and I pull off my boots and curl up on the couch, tugging the throw right up to my chin – the one Flynn’s been using as a blanket – and I almost moan at the sweet earthy smell.
There’s a hint of citrus and I recognise that shower gel he uses.
But it’s mixed with something woody, like Oakwood Forest, and pure Flynn.
I want to inhale it like a drug and wrap it around me to keep me warm.
‘I asked if you want a glass of wine, Gracie?’ Flynn holds up a bottle of red, with an odd expression on his face.
Oh shit, did I just let out that moan?
I clear my throat. ‘Sure. Why not? I think we’ve both earned it.’
Yep, that sounds reasonable. Not horny in the least. And not bothered by what he said earlier about Jamie.
Even though I am. Horny, and bothered, and confused.
But there’s no way I can let Flynn see that.
Because we’re only starting to find our way back to being real friends again, and I do not want to mess that up.
‘Just the one,’ I say with a lilt in my tone, and my most platonic smile plastered across my face. ‘I volunteered to take story time tomorrow and those kids take no prisoners.’
‘Sure. Good plan.’ Flynn grabs two glasses from the shelf and peers at the bottle. ‘Warm and spicy with luscious blackberry. How’s that sound?’
‘Perfect.’ My voice is upbeat. Cheery.
He fills a glass to the two-thirds mark and hands it to me.
‘If you’re only having one, you might as well make it a large one.
’ He fills his own to the same level, drops down on the rug, and leans against the couch by my feet.
‘I’ll just have one too, I don’t want to risk missing story time.
’ He grins. ‘Please tell me you’ll wear your pumpkin costume. ’
I nudge his shoulder with my foot. ‘I think we should get you your own costume if you’re that obsessed. Which one would you like?’
He laughs and clinks my glass. ‘Well, you’re happy, so that’s gone. And I’m definitely not sad. Not any more.’ He fake frowns. ‘And I hope I’m not grumpy.’
My brows lift. ‘Flynn, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you grumpy.’ I giggle. ‘Well, apart from that time when you accused me of stealing your bed.’ I take a sip of my wine and lick my lips. ‘Yum, this is delicious, thanks.’
He takes a sip too and tips his head back as he savours it.
‘I think you should be sleepy,’ I tell him. ‘You know you conk out like a light every night as soon as your head hits that pillow.’
‘Do I now?’ His tone is light and teasing, eyes twinkling as he turns to face me, elbow resting on the edge of the couch, just inches from my bare feet. My skin tingles at the closeness. But I ignore that. I have to.
‘How do you know?’ He hikes his brow. ‘Do you sneak down to check up on me?’
‘Yeah, sure, and then I sit on that fireside chair for hours and watch you sleep. And listen to you snore.’ I scrunch my nose in mock disgust. Even though I’ve never heard him snore.
‘Do I snore? Honestly?’ Flynn takes another slow sip of his wine. ‘Because nobody’s ever mentioned it before. Of course, nobody’s ever sat watching and listening to me sleep, as far as I know.’ His mouth twists in a teasing grin. ‘Until now.’
‘Oh really?’ I reach out and scruff his hair. A friendly scruff. ‘I popped down once or twice for a glass of water. But I wasn’t watching you, I promise.’ Well, not for long.
Then I scoff, ‘But judging by the adoring comments she makes on her Insta posts, I’d say that girlfriend of yours has lain awake plenty of nights gazing at you like a lovesick puppy.’
Flynn jerks his head. ‘What girlfriend?’
‘Meghan, isn’t it? I presume you only have the one.’
‘How do you know about Meghan?’ He looks uneasy, and now I feel uneasy too.
‘She’s always posting about the two of you,’ I say. ‘I don’t follow her or anything, but she tags you and sometimes it pops up on my feed.’
I feel guilty all of a sudden, like I have been spying on him.
He buries his face in his hands and shakes his head. ‘I’m such a shit.’
‘Huh?’ That’s the last thing I was expecting.
He lifts his head again. ‘Is she really still doing that? Sorry, I’m not on social media much. And I haven’t checked anything since I got here.’
I think back. ‘Actually, there’s only been one post since then.’
He reaches for his phone and starts scrolling, and I lean in and try not to make it too obvious that I’m focusing on his screen.
He frowns as he pauses on an image. Flynn and his parents with another older couple, and Meghan, centre stage, with her arm hooked through Flynn’s.
Her head is tilted towards him, almost resting on his shoulder, but not quite.
It looks like they’re outdoors at a barbecue and Meghan’s all perky with a gleaming white smile.
Now that I lean closer, there’s something forced about her expression and that grin doesn’t reach her eyes.
And Flynn just looks really uncomfortable, as though he’d rather be anywhere else.
I watch his face pale as he stares at the image, and my eyes land on the highlighted text at the bottom of his screen. Always hold on to your dream.
‘That was taken ages ago.’ He drops his phone on the rug and drags his hands through his hair. ‘Damn, I thought I got through to her last time we talked.’
‘So, she’s not your girlfriend?’
He sighs wearily. ‘No, but it’s complicated.’
‘Wanna talk about it?’
‘I’m so embarrassed.’ He leans his head against my leg and rubs his jaw. And I try to focus on his feelings, and not the way my joggers have ridden up, and Flynn’s soft, sandy hair is caressing the bare skin above my ankle. Oh God.
‘Her parents are friends of my parents,’ he says. ‘Her mom’s a surgeon at the hospital Dad works at and they visit all the time. Dinner, barbecues, the usual. After Natalie and I broke up, Mom started inviting Meghan too. I think she was hoping to set us up.’
‘That’s quite a while ago, isn’t it? Since you and Natalie . . .’
He takes a gulp of wine, draining his glass. ‘Almost two years. But Mom only started inviting Meghan this last year. I hadn’t been on a date since Natalie and I finished, and I think she was beginning to worry.’
I watch him closely as I sip, he looks so sad.
He and Natalie were together since college, and they broke up not long after I moved to London.
After Jamie wore me down by persuading me that moving there would bring us closer together, because it would be just me and him, away from any distractions.
I only realised later he meant my family and friends.
‘I thought you two might go the distance,’ I say. ‘You seemed to really like her. Natalie, I mean.’
‘I did really like her.’ Flynn sighs.
‘And Meghan?’
He shrugs. ‘She’s a nice girl. We hung out a bit. Well, more than a bit. For a while there, she seemed to turn up everywhere I went.’ He hesitates. ‘And then one night, I had a bit too much to drink.’ He winces. ‘Way too much. And I woke up the next morning in her bed.’
‘She took advantage of you?’ My chest tightens.
‘No.’ Flynn hangs his head. ‘It’s my fault, I was a bit lost at the time. If anything, I took advantage of her.’ He sighs. ‘That morning, after I woke up, she made it very clear she was available for whatever.’
‘Okaay.’
‘I told her I didn’t want a relationship, that I wasn’t looking to get involved.’ He looks up and holds my gaze. ‘That I was hung up on someone else, and probably always will be.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ I reach out and squeeze his shoulder, but he drops his head again and closes his eyes, and I try not to stare at those silky lashes and sun-freckled cheeks. I want to kiss away the hurt that I can see he’s locking down, but I’d be the one taking advantage then.
He never told me exactly what happened with Natalie. Or why they split up. But it’s clear he’s not over it.
‘So, you and Meghan had a “friends with benefits” situation?’ I steer the conversation away from Natalie. I know how losing someone cuts, and how it’s better not to open old wounds.
Flynn grimaces. ‘I guess so. At least, that’s what I thought.
I didn’t mean it to keep happening, but Meghan kept showing up, telling me she only wanted something casual.
’ He tugs at his hair. ‘And it was fun, so I told myself I believed her. But I think I knew all along she was hoping it would turn into more. God, I’m a bastard, aren’t I? ’
‘It’s not your fault. You were honest with her. She’s the one who didn’t play straight.’
‘But I wasn’t honest with myself. Friends with benefits never works. One person always wants more.’ He shakes his head. ‘One person always gets hurt.’