13
‘Thank you,’ I say as we stroll by the lakeside, and the late September sun bathes us in a warm, hazy glow.
‘What are you thanking me for?’
I look up at Flynn, his tousled sandy hair, his light golden skin spattered with freckles, how his mouth curls at the corners as though he’s always on the brink of a smile. Those devastating blue eyes. And the way he’s looking at me now as if he’s telling me, I see you. I’ve got you. I’m here.
‘Thank you for making me laugh, for making me feel better.’
He reaches for the stray strand of hair that tickles my face in the breeze, then he tucks it carefully behind my ear. ‘You don’t need to thank me for that, Gracie.’ He presses a finger to the tip of my nose. ‘I like making you feel better.’
We follow the trail that takes us through the woods and around the lake, and Flynn tells me the names, and the stories, of all the trees we pass along the way.
Walnut, and horse chestnut, handkerchief, and Indian bean, and dozens more that I’ll ask him to name for me again on the way back.
It’s the same game we used to play when we’d walk here before he went away.
I loved listening to him talk about them as if they were treasured friends.
‘You remember every single one,’ I say. ‘Why won’t they stay in my head like that?’
‘Pat took me walking here every weekend, from the very first week we moved here, remember. Told me the name of every tree, every flower, over and over.’ He smiles at the memory.
‘Even the weeds. And the stories behind them, where they came from, the ones to avoid, and how to use the good ones for healing, especially the herbs. He was teaching me this stuff since I was twelve years old.’
Flynn’s family moved a lot before they came back to Oakwood, his dad chasing career moves all the way to his dream job as chief of surgery at the hospital near where he grew up, back in Cricket Falls.
They left Oakwood when Flynn was five, and he hardly saw his mam’s family again until he was almost thirteen, when his father got offered a position at the nearby regional hospital and decided it would look good on his CV.
‘You and Pat always clicked, didn’t you?’ I watch him, the way his eyes close for a beat, the corners of his mouth curling at the memories.
‘Yeah.’ He nods. ‘We still do.’
‘You must have missed him a lot when you left.’
‘I sure did.’ His voice is low and wistful, then he adds, ‘But I missed you more.’
Really? I stop strolling and stare out over the water. The woods are quiet this afternoon and it’s just the two of us walking this earthy lakeside path.
‘I missed you too.’ I thread my arm through his and rest my head against his shoulder. ‘I wish you didn’t have to leave again.’ I tilt my face to his, and he dips his chin and meets my gaze as I say, ‘I wish you could stay.’
‘Me too.’ He takes hold of my other arm and twists me gently so we’re facing each other now. ‘I want to.’ His teeth skim over his bottom lip and it feels like he’s deciding how much to share.
‘But only if you’ll be here, Gracie. I’m not sure I want to be here if you’re not.’
‘You know I’ll be here. Where else would I go?’ I pull back and stare at him, and he tilts his head as though he’s not sure if he believes me.
‘I might have to work in Abbeyville, or further, depending on what happens with Oakwood. But I’ll buy a little second-hand car and commute.’
It’s been my dream since I was a little girl to manage Oakwood Library. To develop it into the amazing community space that I know it could be. But if that’s not possible, I might need to rethink where I’ll ask to be based.
‘So, you’ve no desire to leave again?’ Flynn’s eyes narrow as he watches the faraway look in mine. ‘Maybe go back to London? Or Australia?’
My jaw drops. ‘How do you know about Australia?’ I presume he means Jamie’s plans.
‘I wasn’t going to say anything. I didn’t want to upset you.
’ He drags a hand through his hair, scraping the back of his scalp with his fingers.
‘I heard Scott talking to Coach Murphy about it at football training the other night.’ He shakes his head.
‘I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I was in the shower drying off and they were standing outside the open window.
Scott was asking Coach about clubs in Sydney in case he decided to move there.
He was laughing about it, how Jamie would move the whole football team out there if he got his way.
’ His jaw twitches, and I know that twitch, I remember it from before, whenever Flynn was worried or upset about something, usually another argument with his dad.
‘What difference does it make to you if Jamie emigrates?’ I scan his face.
‘If it’s the football team you’re worried about, Jamie’s no great loss.
He hasn’t trained properly in years. And I don’t think Scott will go, not without Sarah.
’ And why should Flynn care? It’s not like he’s planning to join the team again.
He might wish he could stay, but it’s not like he’s planning to. Is he?
I chew my lip as my mind spins back to Sarah.
I hope Sarah won’t go. I’ve been trying not to think about it since I got back, the possibility of losing another person who means so much to me.
But I know how persuasive Jamie can be and how he’s especially good at getting around Scott.
And if Scott does really want to go, if it means the chance of a partnership in his own agency, I’m not sure Sarah will say no.
Especially as half her friends from law school are in Sydney or Melbourne or Perth.
And she’s forever giving out that, judging by their social media, they spend half their time surfing or sailing or topping up their tans at the beach.
Flynn’s gaze drops to my mouth, where I’m still worrying at my lip. ‘And what about you?’ he asks quietly.
‘Me? Why would I go to Australia.’ I shake my head. ‘Yes, okay, Jamie asked me, ages ago. He wanted us to start applying for visas even though I told him I only wanted to come back to Oakwood.’
I throw my hands up, exasperated. Flynn doesn’t look convinced and I can’t believe he thinks I’d follow Jamie to Sydney.
‘But that was before . . .’ I wince at the image that lands in my brain.
‘Before I found out my boyfriend was a liar and a cheat.’ I swallow the lump in my throat.
‘That woman at the bar, Olivia. He slept with her in London, while we were still together.’
‘Bastard.’ Flynn’s eyes flash with anger.
‘So, you can see why I don’t want to go anywhere with Jamie.’
‘Yeah.’ His voice is flat and his brow furrowed. ‘But that lying cheat doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere without you.’
‘So?’
‘Gracie, I saw your face when you heard what Olivia said back there, like you were rethinking everything.’ He digs his hands into his jeans pockets and kicks at a clump of grass at the edge of the path. ‘And you’ve told me before how good Jamie is at persuading you to do that.’
I shake my head, hot tears burning, and Flynn shrugs an apology, but his face is still fraught.
‘I’m sorry, but I heard Scott tell Coach, Jamie won’t go unless Gracie goes. He told Scott he made one mistake, but he’s determined to fix it, and he won’t rest until you take him back.’ Flynn watches me closely. ‘He seems fully convinced he can persuade you to.’
I shake my head again as I stare out across the lake. ‘He can’t.’
Flynn stands and stares out over the water alongside me. He doesn’t say any more. But I get the sense he’s not sure if he believes that. And it bothers me, because I’m grateful for his support. But I need to stand on my own now, and I need to prove that I can. To Flynn. And to myself.
Flynn’s gone for takeout when I arrive downstairs after my shower, later that evening. He still seems determined to recreate our old movie nights. I think he’s hoping that will ease the tension between us. I hope so too.
I spot a note on the coffee table, with a sketch of me stuffing my face with a giant slice of pizza, and instructions to pick out a movie and make sure it’s soppy.
I smile as I throw myself on the couch, tuck my legs underneath me, and start flicking through options.
I keep looping back to Friends with Benefits and How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.
Not sure why those two are popping out at me, maybe it’s what Flynn said about Meghan and how friends with benefits never works.
And I guess I’m hoping for tips from How to Lose a Guy on ways to get Jamie off my case.
Although neither of those movies ends with the outcome I’m hoping for.
I don’t want Flynn flying back to the States to set up a flashmob for Meghan.
And I don’t want me and Jamie singing to each other at the Corner Bar, even if that song ‘You’re So Vain’ does fit him perfectly, because he really is.
Flynn empties a carrier bag of supplies into the fridge when he gets back, then makes straight for the spot beside me on the couch.
He’s wearing grey trackpants and an oversized blue hoodie.
As he pulls off his trainers and socks, even his feet smell citrusy and fresh, like he’s bathed them in lemon water, which I guess he sort of did.
He had a shower before me and the bathroom smelled like a lush Mediterranean garden.
I was tempted to steal that fancy verbena gel for myself.
He opens two pizza boxes on the coffee table, and I lean forward and sigh dreamily as I inhale the warm herby smell. When I look up again, he’s got one arm propped on the back of the couch, face resting against his palm, staring at me with a big soppy grin.
‘I love how food makes you so happy.’