19
‘Tell. Me. Everything.’ Sarah props her elbows on the table as I take a seat on the bench across from her.
We’re in our usual spot in the Corner Bar, and I glance over my shoulder, although I’m not sure why I bother.
Between the dim yellow lighting and all the cosy nooks and crannies, you could hide an army of spies in this place.
‘Relax, there’s not another sinner apart from Audrey. Nobody comes in here this early on a Thursday. Here, I got you a sparkling water.’ She hands me my glass. ‘Now, come on, spill.’
‘I told you already. We kissed. That’s it.’
I take a sip of my iced water and smile as I wait for her reaction.
There’s no way Sarah will let me leave it at that.
She was away all weekend, and she’s been in Dublin for work since Monday, so all we had was a quick phone call on Sunday evening.
She’s been messaging all week with reminders to meet her after work on Thursday for the lowdown, and I know she won’t let me out of here until I give her a blow-by-blow account.
‘You told me sweet feck all.’ She tosses her hands up.
‘And I’m sorry I didn’t call you back but work has been bananas.
I only got home this afternoon.’ She lifts her glass and clinks it against mine.
‘And I wanted to see your face when you describe to me in detail what happened. Now, tell me everything. Where were his hands? Tongue, no tongue?’
I close my eyes, and I swear I feel the warmth of Flynn’s breath on my face, his hand at my neck, thumb tracing my bottom lip. The squeeze of his fingers on the curve of my hip.
‘Oh my God!’ Sarah’s staring at me open-mouthed when I open my eyes again.
‘Hmm,’ I say weakly.
‘Your face.’ She stares at me. ‘I’d offer to get you a brandy but you look more like you could do with a dose of smelling salts.’
‘I’m fine, honestly,’ I manage, though my voice comes out breathless, and if Sarah makes me relive that kiss again, she’s going to find me in a puddle on the floor. ‘I, um, haven’t eaten properly today, that’s all.’
‘Yeah, right. I knew it. I knew he’d be a good kisser.’
‘What? How can you tell something like that?’ I fake frown, but I can’t hold back my smile, because yeah, I think I always knew too.
‘Because Flynn’s the sort of guy who pays attention to stuff. He always was, especially when it came to you.’
I sigh, and Sarah narrows her eyes. ‘Are you two an item now? Is he staying? Has he decided about the shop?’ She clamps her hand over her mouth as her face drains of colour. ‘Feck. Forget I said that. I shouldn’t have said that. Pat will kill me. Or fire me, at least.’
‘It’s okay. I already know. Flynn told me.’
She heaves a sigh of relief.
‘But I didn’t realise you knew.’
Sarah specialises in property law, but I didn’t know she was working on Pat’s.
She winces. ‘I’m sorry, Pat’s my client.
I couldn’t break his confidence.’ She looks like she’s struggling with how much she can say.
‘I still can’t, even though I really wish I could.
But things should be sorted soon.’ She crosses her fingers and smiles wryly.
‘You know, I could strangle Pat sometimes, he’s such a messer.
’ She rolls her eyes. ‘A loveable messer, but a messer all the same.’
‘What do you mean?’
She grins. ‘Who do you think spread all those rumours in the first place?’
My jaw drops and she goes on. ‘You know what this village is like. Well, some people in this village. They object to everything. Pat decided it would be a good idea to give them a chance to consider a few alternatives before he shares his actual plans.’
I throw my eyes up because Sarah’s right, Pat is such a messer and this sounds exactly the sort of thing he’d do. ‘But a plastics factory?’ My voice rises in horror at the thought of it. ‘Surely, he didn’t expect us to fall for that.’
Sarah arches her brows. ‘I heard the Stringers made placards. And they’re planning a protest march. And didn’t Jamie gatecrash your meeting to share the news?’
‘Jamie knew well it was never going to happen.’ My skin pricks with irritation at the thought of him. ‘He just wanted to play the hero in front of the whole village.’
‘And in front of you,’ Sarah says quietly.
I press my face into my palms. ‘Everyone must think I’m such a bitch. First, I laugh at him, then I kiss Flynn right in front of his face.’
‘Gracie.’ She stares at me. ‘He slept with another woman. In your bed. And then told you it was your fault. I think you’ve a long way to go before you’re even, or anyone can call you a bitch.’
I take another gulp of my water. ‘That’s not what I’m trying to do. It’s not about getting even.’ But what am I doing? I’m not sure what I’m at, apart from making a mess of everything still.
‘All I know is Jamie gets in my head.’ I stare down at the table, tugging at a soggy coaster until it comes apart between my fingers.
‘Especially about Flynn. I need time on my own to figure out what I want, without someone always telling me how to feel.’ I’m talking to myself as much as Sarah, thinking out loud, trying to process, but Sarah’s used to me by now.
‘So, I guess you won’t be hooking up with Flynn then?’ I look up and she gives me the head tilt she normally saves for funerals and break-ups and all the worst kinds of news. ‘Pity. But I see your point. Ten years is a long time and maybe you do need to take a breather, focus on you for a change.’
‘Yeah, I think I do.’ My chest feels tight as I heave out a breath. ‘Anyway, I don’t think Flynn’s going to be in Oakwood much longer.’
I picture his face this evening when I dashed back to change my clothes. He was on the couch, staring at his phone. I asked if he was okay, if he wanted to talk.
And he sighed like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and said, Dad’s putting pressure on Mom to persuade me to sell Hazel Cottage.
So, I called and told him that it’s my life, my cottage, and I’ll decide what to do with it.
He wasn’t happy, and now he and Mom are fighting.
She’s really cross with him, which isn’t like her.
I think she’s worried I won’t come back.
I need to go home and talk to them both. About my future. My plans.
‘Taking on the shop would be a huge commitment,’ I say. ‘Maybe he and Pat will rent it out instead. And Flynn could keep renting out Hazel Cottage. Then he could go anywhere he wants.’
‘So could you.’ Sarah nods encouragingly. ‘You’re free as a bird now.’
‘I’m exactly where I want to be.’ I sip my water, take a breath. ‘I love being back here, working in the library, walking through the woods at the weekends, sitting on our bench looking out over the lake.’
‘Our bench? Do we have a bench?’
‘What? No. I mean a bench . . . sitting on any bench.’
I mean mine and Flynn’s, of course. Our bench, our favourite tree, our same spot on the grass where we always used to sit when it was warm.
Oh God, maybe Sarah’s right, maybe I do need to go somewhere else, shake myself up a bit.
Then I remember London, and even though I liked the city, my job, and the friends I made, I ached every day to be back here, to be home.
‘It’s a shame they can’t sell it,’ I say.
‘The shop, I mean. It’s been in their family forever and his gran wanted to keep it that way.
’ I shrug. ‘But she did love her books, and the library, and this village. I think she’d be okay with Flynn selling the shop if she knew it would be used for an extension so we could finally have the library that Oakwood needs.
’ I swallow as it hits me that I’m not sure I want this to happen now. Not if it means Flynn leaving again.
‘I’m sure you’re right.’ Sarah perks up. ‘I’m sure she would approve of her family’s property being used to build a better library. And who knows, that might happen.’
Her eyebrows draw together, and she gets that look on her face that I’ve seen so many times, especially when we were teenagers, the one that always means trouble.
‘So, you really don’t think Flynn will stay?’ She watches me closely.
I shake my head.
She sinks back in her seat, eyes glinting. ‘Well, in that case, I have an idea.’
‘Of course you do.’ I throw my eyes up, and she huffs in mock indignation.
‘Just hear me out.’ She gives me her best serious lawyer face.
‘You don’t expect Flynn will stay in Oakwood for much longer.
And you need to keep Jamie at bay until he gets on that plane to Australia.
Or he gives up and accepts that he and Olivia deserve each other and he might as well give her that bloody ring and be done with it. ’
I nod cautiously and her face lifts. I can see she’s only warming up, and there’s no point trying to halt Sarah when she’s on a roll, so I lean back and wait.
‘You and Flynn are getting along fine as friends, even though you clearly had one hell of a kiss.’ She cups her chin and gives me that shrewd look she gets. ‘Even though anyone with a pair of eyes in their head can see you’re both harbouring a crush.’
I shake my head desperately. ‘Flynn’s not crushing on me.’
Is he? My mind drifts back to our kiss. Could he?
Sarah ignores my protest and carries on.
‘So, why not make the most of that ginormous bed?’ She claps her hands together and her face lights with glee.
‘You’re both single, you’re both free, and you both seem to be on the same page about keeping it that way.
But you clearly have chemistry. So why not shag it out of your systems and be done with it.
’ She grins. ‘You just need a plan, a shag Flynn Anderson plan.’ She ignores my look of horror as my heart leaps from my chest and slams down on the floor.
She taps the table with her knuckles to drive home her point, then switches tack and smiles wistfully.
‘Think of it this way, it’ll be a sweet memory to look back on when you’re old and grey and still sending each other cards, like long-lost lovers from another century, or from one of those soppy movies you watch. ’
She starts ticking the benefits off on her fingers, and I breathe deep and try to focus on those. And not the splintering cracks threatening to tear through the wall I’ve been building brick by brick around my heart.
‘You get your new library. You get to stay single, concentrate on you, and take the break you need before getting into another relationship. You get to stay friends with Flynn. And you hopefully get some decent sex as a bonus.’ Her eyes sparkle with excitement.
‘It’s all good. You get everything you need.
And you have absolutely nothing to lose. ’
My breathing steadies, and my worries ease a little, as Sarah beams hopeful vibes across the table.
And I wonder if maybe she’s right. Maybe this is just a lingering crush that I need to get out of my system so Flynn and I can go back to being friends.
And maybe if I do this the right way, if I’m careful and don’t mess things up, this plan could actually work.