Chapter Twenty-three
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
TOBIAS
We spend most of the day outside. The weather is perfect, and the sun is still shining when we decided to call it a day and head back to the house.
I push the door open, holding it for Natalie.
“Today was fun,” she says, putting the cookies in the kitchen. “I can’t remember just going with the flow in a long time.”
After baking, we’d gone for a beer at Hudson’s bar, then we watched the afternoon parade, which was just four floats long, and walked home.
There are more events tonight, but I’m not upset that we aren’t attending.
As long as I’m with Natalie, I don't really care what I do.
It might not be the healthiest way to think, but today taught me that I’d be the happiest man on earth if we had more days like this. And I'd be even happier if we had more days like today but were more than friends.
The thing is, she said she wants to be friends. How do I convince her to see what I see without crossing a line?
“We should order pizza and get our computers out. I think we need to add something like this festival to the mix. I loved today so much.”
She turns to go up the stairs, and like it has all day long, my gaze follows her, soaking in her every move, from the sway of her hips to the way her hair bounces in her messy bun.
I rub a hand over my face.
How did I miss this? How did I not see this sooner? We’ve been friends for ten years. Ten.
I’m standing in the same spot when she comes back down. She hands me my computer bag and then sets up her computer at one end of the couch. I do the same.
Writing in the middle of the day has never been my thing. It’s either a get-it-done first thing in the morning or a late-night thing for me. Any other time, even with the guys, it feels forced. But not right now. Sitting down to do this with Natalie feels good.
I’ve missed the feeling of joy when it comes to writing.
“Where did we leave off?” I ask.
“I’d just written the scene where they’re fighting over the guy she was flirting with.”
“And how did you end it? Let me pull it up.”
“Um, just read it and tell me if you think we should change it.”
I open our shared Google Doc. The scene ends with them shaking hands. Our hero and heroine are agreeing to put the past behind them and move forward as a parenting team.
It fits the storyline, but it’s lacking something.
“Hmm,” I say and then look at our word count and how far into the book we are: 70 percent of our goal. “I think they should kiss here.”
“What? They just agreed to be civil.”
“I know, but outside of the opening scene, we’ve built up enough tension that I think the fight could have more oomph, and he kisses her.”
“Just like that?”
“Yeah, it was like they were arguing, and he just couldn't take it anymore. The mere thought of her standing this close to him, feeling the warmth of her body so close, smelling her sweet cinnamon hair and seeing her smile day in and day out gets to him. He wants her. No, he needs her. So yeah, he kisses her.”
Natalie doesn’t say anything, but her eyes are narrowed as she studies me.
“What?”
“I like that. I like the passion he has for her.”
“Well, yeah, she’s it for him too. I’ll start the next scene. How far should we go?”
Again, she doesn't answer me.
“Hey, are you okay?”
She shakes her head, and the dazed look in her eyes clears as she returns her focus to her computer.
“Huh? Oh, yes.”
“So, what do you think?”
“About what?”
“The sex. How far should we go? First base, second? Home run?”
Her stunned expression leaves me shaking my head.
“In the book, Nat.”
“Oh! Oh. Wow. I thought you were talking about us.”
I bark out a laugh.
“I gathered that.”
“I was like, whoa, buddy, we just decided to be friends only, and that’s not easy, nor is it exactly what I had in mind, and I think we?—”
“Dove,” I cut her off.
“Yeah?”
“You’re rambling.”
“Noted.”
We discuss how the next two chapters should go, settling on oral for now, and get to work. We eat pizza and take a break, laughing over the cutest tiny dancers who tried to stay to the beat during the parade but failing and the dads who tried to help them remember the steps. How Hudson’s brother teased him about setting up a karaoke machine in the bar and how his singing would bring in more customers than Hudson’s singing.
But when I decide to go to bed, Natalie opts to finish her scene before she joins me.
I thought I could sleep easy tonight, but it turns out that not knowing when Natalie is coming up here bothers me. Is she going to pretend to fall asleep on the couch? I even consider pretending that I’m asleep when Natalie walks into the room. It could make things easier for us. I’m pretty sure I’m going to do it, but then I realize how the black moment should go, and I have to get my notes down.
My fingers are still busy at work when Natalie finally wanders into the room.
I glance up, and she smiles.
“You should have come down to wake me up.”
I look at the clock on my computer.
“Shit,” I say. It’s after midnight. “I didn't realize how late it was.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t plan to fall asleep.” She gestures to my computer. “What are you working on?”
“Just making notes for the black moment.”
Natalie yawns. “Tell me about it tomorrow.”
“You got it.”
She drags her feet to her bag, digging through it for her pajamas. She grabs what looks like shorts, a shirt, and her bathroom bag.
She disappears into the bathroom, and I let out a breath and shut down my computer.
Shorts and a shirt—okay, I can handle that. I’ve seen her in that outfit a thousand times.
Fuck. Why did it never cross my mind to wonder what she’d slept in till now?
I blow out another breath.
This is Natalie.
Everything is going to be fine … as soon as I get my shit together.
Once my computer bag is zipped, I slide my sweats off and climb into bed in nothing but my boxer briefs.
I flick the lamp off.
Shit, what if she doesn't want me to sleep in my underwear?
I’m reaching for the light to add more clothes when she steps out of the bathroom.
“Now that I’ve had that little catnap, I’m not so sure I'll be able to fall back asleep.”
Her second yawn that follows makes me laugh.
“I think you’ll be fine.”
She tosses her things into her bag and then crawls over me to get in on her side.
Crawls. Over. Me.
She could have walked around the bed to her side. But no. She had to move her body over mine.
I close my eyes and count to ten.
Why am I like this?
I’ve never been this nervous with a girl before.
But this isn’t just some girl. It’s Natalie.
She gets settled under the sheet, doing this little shimmy thing and pulling the comforter to her neck before she turns to her side and looks at me.
Good. Okay, yes, she’s covering herself up. She’s hinting that all is a no-go and the “just friends” agreement is still on.
What if I’m overthinking all this? What if she’s totally fine with just being friends, and I’m the only one with this new buildup of tension because we know we like each other but are doing nothing about it?
“Tobias.”
Her soft voice cuts off my rambling thoughts. “Yeah,” I say with a slight squeak as I curl onto my side to mimic her position. Our faces are lined up with each other.
She laughs. It's a sleepy laugh, and it might just be my new favorite thing about her.
“Tell me about your notes.”
“You’re tired,” I say, reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear so I can see her face better. “Get some sleep.”
“I can’t sleep,” she whispers, moving herself closer to me.
My mind focuses on the heat of her skin near mine, how her shorts are barely shorts—yes, I saw them when she got in bed—and how I love every minute of it when her bare leg sneaks out of the covers and brushes mine.
Don't even get me started on the scent of the lotion she clearly applied to her body before going to bed.
What is that, vanilla? Cupcake? It smells fucking delicious.
“Why not?” I ask.
“I’m thinking about this book.”
“Yeah? Do you not like it?”
She shakes her head. “No, I like it a lot, and I love that I’m writing it with you.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I just …”
“You can tell me.”
She looks down for the briefest moment before her gaze collides with mine.
“I just wrote a scene, and I thought of you the entire time.”
Fuck.
She bites her lip.
I do my best to breathe casually, but she dropped a bomb on me, and my brain is starting to short circuit. The first place it cut off is my dick, which is very alert now.
Natalie was thinking of me in a sexual way.
“Did you like the words you wrote?” I ask.
She nods. “Too much, I think.”
“How so?”
“I wanted to,” she takes a breath, “be alone with … you.”
“Dove?”
“Yes?”
“Are you aware you’re biting your lip?”
“Yes.”
I inch closer, closing the small gap and resting my hand on her hip. My thumb rubs small circles against her skin, sending a bolt of heat through my entire body.
“Tobias,” she whispers, and I swear it’s so quiet in this room that she can hear my heart pounding through my ears.
“Yeah?”
She yawns again and closes her eyes.
“Don’t read my words until tomorrow, promise?”
“I promise,” I say, smiling. I didn’t even think about that, but now I’m curious.
Her breathing evens out quickly, and I know she fell asleep.
I blow out a breath and kiss her forehead before rolling onto my back.
I know we both want to keep our friendship the way it’s always been, but the truth is, whether we like it or not, it changed the day she met Griffin, again when they broke up, and even more when we admitted to having feelings for each other.
No matter how hard we try, we won’t be the same old Natalie and Tobias anymore.
Maybe it’s time I help her see that.