Always Been You
Chapter One
Lawliss
“Hey, Dzifa, I gotta go now,” I say to my best friend, cutting her off mid-sentence as I pull up in front of my husband’s office.
“Wish me luck,” I add quickly, already halfway out of the car. I fumble to set up my camera on the mini-tripod, hands shaking with anticipation, then slamming the door in the process. My heart skips as I hurry toward the building, ready to capture the look on his face when he sees me.
“Call me after, okay? I need all the gist.”
“Yes, ma'am,” I respond with a smile, although she couldn't see me, and then hung up. Dzifa and I have been inseparable since our first year of college. She’s been my rock since then. With everything set up, I take a deep breath and head into the office building, only to be intercepted by the receptionist.
“Do you have an appointment?” I pause, then turn to face her, narrowing my eyes slightly. “Do I need one when I’m here to see my husband, Bella?” I quirk a brow at her, letting the words hang. Now I need an appointment to see my husband. My own husband! Holding back a sigh, I pull out my cards—the ones that state I own the building and can come and go as I please. I rarely use them, but sometimes it’s necessary.
Bella’s face pales as she swallows a visible lump, shifting on her feet. I don’t know what’s going on with her today. I’ll deal with it later.
Heart racing, I steady my breath and focus on my goal. I press the record button and start my introduction in the elevator, my voice a little breathless with anticipation.
“Hey babe. It’s our anniversary today! Cheers to a memory of us and many, many years together!” I raise my hand in a playful toast to the camera, maybe a little too enthusiastic. The elevator dings and my voice echoes down the empty hallway as I turn the camera to catch my surroundings.
Bella hovers just a step behind me, hands clasped tightly in front of her. She barely meets my eyes, glancing down every few seconds like she’s counting the tiles. She probably thinks she’s going to lose her job. Hell, I’d be nervous too if I were her.
My heart thuds in my chest, each step feeling heavier than the last as we approach my husband’s office. There’s something off about the place, something I can’t shake, but I keep my smile plastered on, refusing to let it slip. Today is supposed to be a celebration, after all.
Right? Get your act together, Lawliss.
I notice Bella fidgeting beside me. Well, that makes two of us. We pass the secretary’s empty desk, and I ignore Bella’s weak attempts to stop me as I reach for the office door. I push it open with a smile,“Surpr–”
The word catches in my throat as I stutter and swallow hard. My grip tightens on the handle, and a tear slips down my cheek. I stand there, frozen, unable to process what I’m seeing. I rub my eyes, half-hoping it’s some cruel trick. It’s not.
Strangely, I don’t scream. I don’t shout. My whole body locks up, as if time itself has stopped. I used to think I’d be strong enough to walk away if I ever found myself in this situation. Handling so many divorce cases pro bono over the years gave me time to imagine it but I never thought I’d actually be here. Never.
Derrick. The man I’m married to is on top of someone else, right here in his office. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. My lips move soundlessly, my throat tight. “Derrick?” Finally, I murmur, barely recognizing my own voice. This can’t be real. Oh God, no… not today. Not on our anniversary. I step further into the office, squinting to get a clearer view of the woman beneath him. Is that… Is that his secretary? Or should I say, his lover?
“You like it?” he whispers to her, beads of sweat glistening on his forehead as he moves on top of her. She moans, “Harder, yes—harder, like that.” He grips her thighs, thrusting into her with no hesitation.
Why the hell am I watching this? I draw in a shaky breath, feeling my chest tighten as the scene unfolds before me.
Today is our second anniversary. After five years together, I wanted to make this one special, so I took the day off to surprise him. Derrick’s been distant lately, always complaining that I spend more time at work than with him, and I could feel him slipping away. I thought a getaway might bring us back together, so I booked a flight to Florida for this evening with a whole vacation planned just for us.
“How long has this been going on?” I finally manage, keeping my voice steady—my lawyer voice—the one I use to get answers when all I really want is to shout and throw things.
Gripping my tripod, I take a deep, trembling breath, forcing myself to take in every detail of the scene I’ve walked into. Derrick’s head snaps up at my voice, his face draining of color. He shoves himself back into his trousers, fumbling to look halfway decent, while his secretary frantically smooths down her skirt, using her fingers to comb through her hair.
A burst of hysterical laughter escapes me, cracking in my throat as I fight to keep the tears at bay. I lift my head, inhaling sharply. Not today, Satan. I think, swallowing hard as I blink back the tears threatening to spill.
I look straight into the eyes of the man who chose to become a stranger to me because today marks the end of us. He knows I don’t tolerate cheats. For fuck’s sake, he promised he’d love me like he’d lose me tomorrow and I fell for it. He knew how insecure I was about this, yet he still did it. Why? Am I not enough?
He promised he’d tell me if anything changed between us, but I guess that was a lie. How many other lies has he told? Come to think of it, Bella tried to warn me in her own way. I finally understand her silence and I feel stupid for not seeing it sooner.
Have I been blind this whole time? Is it because I can’t carry a child? But that’s not even my fault—he’s the one who refused to get tested after the doctor cleared me. What did I miss? How could I have missed the signs?
I’ve always prided myself on spotting a lie from a mile away—and here it was, right beside me, sleeping next to me, breathing me in.
He told me he loved me this morning before he left for work. Another lie? Am I really that undesirable? Looking at his secretary, who is everything I’m not—curvy, beautiful. It suddenly clicks. I remember how he looked at other women, the ones with curves in all the right places. Whereas I’m built more like an athlete. The only thing I could pride myself on was my chest, and he loved that, or I thought he did. I guess that was a lie, too. I chuckle.
“You know what? Don’t bother answering. You’ll be served with divorce papers and I expect you to sign them unless you want to drag this out.” I smirk, masking the way I’m crumbling inside.
“You can get back to… whatever you were doing,” I say, wrinkling my nose. I turn to leave, only to feel his hand grip my wrist. Slowly, I turn back, my gaze zeroing in on his hand.
“It’s not what you think, honey,” he says, inching closer.
“Don’t you dare touch me with your filthy hands,” I say, my voice is low, teeth clenched, and he actually takes a step back, shaken. Good . He should be afraid. No one messes with me and gets away with it. Not even him.
“Honey, listen to me," he tries again, but the secretary’s little scoff pulls my attention. She’s leaning against the wall, arms folded, watching like this is some cheap soap opera.
Anger boils over, my heart racing. If he’s guilty, then so is she for choosing to be with a married man.
“What’s funny, sweetheart?” I turn to face her, my voice sharp. The lawyer in me wants to tear her apart, but the girl inside—the one with a shattered heart—wants to run. My head and heart are at war.
“You… you’re what’s funny,” she sneers. “You don’t give your husband the attention he wants, and when he finds it elsewhere, you get mad and threaten divorce. Because what? You’re richer?”
She bites her lip, a sign that she’s not as confident as she’s trying to seem.
I let out a short, humorless laugh. “Hmm. Let’s see, honey… I am indeed worth more than you, financially speaking. And I’m not just threatening to divorce his ass.” I point loosely in Derrick’s direction. “I’ll make good on that promise. Take him. Oh, and if you haven’t noticed, I have concrete evidence.” I wave my camera at her, smirking, determined not to let her see me break.
“I didn’t make my name as a ruthless lawyer by being lenient. See you around, sweetheart.” I add, smiling.
“You won’t do anything,” she smirks, trying to hold her ground. “Your family and reputation mean too much to you.”
The mention of my family hits like a punch to the gut. I can already hear Lauren saying, I told you so. My hands shake slightly, and she notices, her confidence growing.
“Do you really think getting divorced will change anything? Men don’t go for damaged goods, Lawliss. You’ll end up just like your sister…”
That snaps me back to reality. “Don’t you dare say another word. And if you don’t want a defamation suit on your hands, I suggest you shut your mouth.”
I turn to face Derrick. “I guess you discuss my family with your mistress.” Did he ever love me? The thought aches, but I push it down. We were the perfect couple, I think bitterly.
Shaking my head, I twist the doorknob to leave, then glance back at the two of them. My gaze lingers on the man I used to call mine. “Looks like you’ll need a new office, honey. This one’s on the market.” I wink and tap Bella on the shoulder as I pass, keeping my head high.
Downstairs, I take a shaky breath, my chest tight and heavy, like the air’s too thick to breathe. My legs feel ready to give out, but I force myself forward, one step at a time, until I reach my car. I yank open the door and slam it shut, the sound echoing through the empty lot.
Once inside, I press my forehead to the steering wheel, letting the weight of it all sink in. My world has come crashing down, and I don’t know if I can bear it.
I remember meeting Derrick in that polished conference room, both of us ambitious and eager to leave our mark. His smile had felt like warmth and promise. Back then, I thought we were building something lasting, something real. We both wanted to change the world, to create something meaningful. It was what drew us together; his passion mirrored my own. But now, the memory feels tainted, like a cruel joke.
I start the car, barely aware of the road as I speed home, running red lights and stop signs, uncaring of the consequences. I try not to think as I drive, yet my mind keeps circling back, dragging me through memories I wish I could forget.
When I finally step into the foyer, my knees buckle, and I collapse onto the floor. The tears come hot and uncontrollable, each sob like broken glass scraping my throat. The strong, put-together woman I’ve worked so hard to become… shattered.
It’s over. It’s really over . I let the words sink in as I crumble completely, the tears flowing harder than I knew they could. How I managed to drive home in this state and how I held it together through the humiliation and heartbreak is beyond me. But one thing is clear: something inside me is broken. Maybe beyond repair.
Hours later, when the tears have finally dried, I pull myself off the floor. My legs are weak, but I move on autopilot. I walk to my home office, grab a sheet of paper, and draft the divorce petition. The legal language comes easily yet it’s the emotion that doesn’t. With a deep breath, I send a broadcast message to my family group chat and my best friend:
“I’m leaving town for a while. Don’t know when I’ll be back.”
I pack a suitcase, slipping off my wedding rings and leave them on the bed. There is no way I am staying here for another moment; I have to get out of here .