Chapter 6 #2
When our eyes met, I saw his clear sincerity. What could I do but believe him? “I won’t hold you to that promise, Mr. Ashby, unlike my companion here.” I smiled at him with jest.
We went quiet, watching for the next hour until the coastline disappeared altogether.
That evening, we had our first dinner on the ship in the mess along with the majority of the crew.
Candlelight illuminated the space, and it was as if we were at an inn rather than on a ship.
The sea was calm and I could barely feel it beneath us.
Apparently, what we ate was practically a feast. The fresh food had to be eaten first, as it would go bad within two weeks.
So we had venison, vegetables, and mince pies.
There was even a pastry that I was not familiar with.
I heard someone say it was a Turkish dessert that the captain preferred above all others.
I enjoyed it, though it was nothing compared to the lemon and berry tarts Cook made at Edleroy.
I told Mr. Ashby so, and he laughed. “If you wish to compare cuisine on a ship with that of a castle, feel free. But you will be disappointed every time.”
“If I worried about disappointment, I would not have become engaged to a man preparing to travel to the West Indies,” I said in rebuttal.
Mr. Ashby nodded. “Graham often told me his fear of disappointing you. He took pains to make sure our business turned into a success.”
The thought that he spent three years saying he didn’t wish to disappoint me rankled.
After all, he had been disappointing me by keeping me waiting.
Whether his business was a success did not matter to me.
After a few moments, I calmed and then spoke again.
“It occurs to me that I do not know very much about you or your relationship with Graham.” I wiped my mouth with my napkin and took a drink.
“Would you tell me how you became a purser and began a business together?”
“It is a rather long story,” Mr. Ashby warned.
I looked around us and then whispered to him. “We are not going anywhere any time soon.”
His smile brightened. “There is hardly a better place to tell a long story than a ship, to be sure.” He placed his utensils down and sat back, folding his arms. His eyes went unfocused for a moment as he thought.
Then he unfolded his arms, leaning his elbows on the table as he began.
“I don’t tell many people this, but I am from a very wealthy family.
Surprising, I know. Being a merchant does not fit in well with the ton. ”
“So are you a second son?” I asked.
“First, actually. But my family has several spares, so it was not an issue for them to disinherit me.” He smiled sardonically, but I could see the frown that lurked beneath.
“My sister was badly insulted by a man, so, naturally, I challenged him to a duel.” His sardonic smile flashed again.
“Unfortunately, my aim was off and I actually hit the man in the shoulder.” He looked down at his hands that he’d laced together on the table.
“He nearly lost the use of his arm, and I spent some time in jail. As might be expected, my family did not see me as a fit heir after that. So I left home and went out to find a way to make a living.”
“How old were you?” Fully immersed in his story, I could not help but feel sympathy for him.
“Nineteen. Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it anyway.” He pulled up a corner of his mouth.
“Anyway, after working at the dockyard, I made use of my education and became a purser, learning everything I could about trade. I saved every penny and began to devise a business plan. When I met Graham on one of the ships I worked on, we became fast friends and discussed starting a venture together.” He took hold of his cup and lifted it as if in a toast. “And that is my story.”
“And a very intriguing one at that, though not nearly as long as you led me to believe. I had been prepared to stay here all evening. One thing I’m curious to know, though,” I said, leaning forward onto my elbows after pushing my empty plate to the side.
“How does one accidentally hit someone they are aiming for?”
His closed-lipped smile was one of amused surprise. He looked away and stuck his tongue in his cheek before saying dubiously, “You believe I meant to hit him.”
I laughed. “Is that not the point of a duel?”
He raised his eyebrows and laughed with disbelief.
“Do you know nothing of a gentleman’s duel, Miss Findlay?
” He laid his right hand flat on the table.
“The point is not to hurt someone, but to prove that you are willing to stake your life to defend your honor. Or in my case, the honor of my sister.”
“It seems like a very male way to prove a point. All bluster without sincerity,” I said.
I grinned at the flash of vexation in his eyes. Hopefully this was allowing him to see my temperament more clearly. If we were to spend months together, he may as well understand who he was dealing with.
He leaned forward. “You have a low opinion of my entire sex, it seems.”
“Indeed.” I lifted a corner of my mouth in jest.
He must have realized that I had been in jest all along. “Well, Graham does not bluster, surely,” he remarked.
I smiled, remembering the times I’d admired Graham’s sincerity. “Not the Graham I know.”
“Not when it comes to you, at least,” Mr. Ashby said, his eyes softening when he met my gaze. He sucked in a breath and looked away before standing and saying abruptly, “Would you care to see the sunset, ladies?”
Patrice and I were in agreement that seeing the sunset on open water was something we’d love. Mr. Ashby led us to the stern once more for the spectacle.
The usual blue of the sky seemed to turn white, then faded into a variety of pinks while the deep orange of the sun reflected in the endless ocean. The moment felt tremendously meaningful. What was it about sunsets and sunrises that filled a person’s heart?
We stood there for a long time, and eventually darkness took over the scene.
Only it wasn’t dark, just dim. Without looking up at all, I saw the stars.
For the first time in my life, they were all around me.
Not only above, but everywhere. The glass sea reflected them.
The moon shone brighter than I’d ever seen it.
I did not even need a candle to see every inch of the ship, nor a lamp to see every freckle on Patrice’s nose when she met my gaze.
There were no words, so we didn’t try to speak. There was only a deep sense of awe that I believed we both felt.
Somewhere, across the sky, Graham existed in a state unknown.
Of course, it had been this way for years.
But now I was on my way to him, and my thoughts, like the sea, were filled with the heavens.
These stars were evidence of something bigger than myself.
And while I knew those stars were as unchangeable as fate, I also knew that I would do everything in my power to fight for the life for which I had desperately waited.
No longer would my fate be decided by others.
Like the ship sailing through the stars, changing their alignment, I would mold my fate with my own hands.