Chapter 25
Samaira
Kartik kept looking at me. “What?” I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
“Yeah, I’d like that too. Okay.” I replied not knowing what else to say. I gave him a small smile which was returned with an absolutely adorable smile. “But my dad, I’m sorry regarding the PI thing, I didn’t know he would go that far,” I added, wincing.
Kartik chuckled and shrugged, “I mean he didn’t really do it so you don’t have to apologise and I can see where’s he coming from” I was not expecting him to say he understands that.
“What?! How is that alright?” I asked
He turns towards me fully and says, “If we ever have a daughter and when she grows up and finds a guy who is suitable for her, which I doubt any guy will be” I roll my eyes, of course.
“But if she ever finds the guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with, he’ll have a third-degree torture for sure,” he adds
I scoff, “Come on, you can’t be serious, what if she is also getting into a marriage of convenience and the guy is almost like you?”
“Well then she has some issues which I would rather not let my daughter have and be a damn good father I can be and it will be before hell freezes over that our daughter dates…” Before he could complete his sentence, I start laughing.
He turned to look at me while trying to pay attention to the road as well.
“What are you laughing about?” he asked me confused.
I try to calm myself down before answering, “then surely she’ll turn out like me when she grows up, my father is the same. ” I answer giggling.
He breaks out in a smile while looking ahead at the road. “I’ll still love her, maybe a bit more than you--”
He paused on whatever he was saying before he cleared his throat.
I realized what he said. He almost said he loved me.
Could that be true? No way, I mean we were joking about something and it happened in the flow of the conversation, nothing else.
I turn to look at him, he has his jaw clenched.
I’d read about that in romance novels, how the hero clenches his jaw when emotions get too loud.
Huh. Turns out, that is what it looks like in real life.
I didn’t know what to say neither did he so we sat in complete silence, the only thing we could hear was the radio.
We soon pulled up in the drive-thru. Kartik quickly placed our order for two large fries, one medium fries, two burgers, and two sodas. I was bewildered.
Kartik drove ahead to the next window to pay. “Who did you order so many fries for?”
He didn’t even turn to look at me while he made the payment with his card, “You always have one large fries and one medium right with a burger and a soda.” he replied so casually like it was a normal thing for him to remember and his tone made me feel like I was being abnormal.
I was dumbfounded. I wasn’t expecting him to remember my order.
I had just mentioned it once when we were chatting.
Yes, I had written my order on the index cards as well but I didn’t expect him to actually remember it.
I kept looking at him wide-eyed. I wasn’t used to this.
Suddenly I felt suffocated. I needed some air.
Kartik pulled out of the lane after collecting our order.
“Pull over,” I muttered.
“What?” He said distractedly as he was finding a radio station to settle on.
“I said pull over. NOW!” I raised my voice, panicking.
That did it, it startled him without any questions he pulled over in the parking lot of the restaurant.
Even before the car stopped I was out of it, trying to breathe while trying not to cry.
As I got out of the car, so did he, and he was instantly by my side.
He was approaching me like I would break any second and that made me mad.
“Kartik, stop it!” I said weakly. I was probably having an anxiety attack and I tried to calm myself down by taking deep breaths. It wasn’t helping. I wanted to shout. I wanted him to get done by this act. “Samaira, please tell me what can I do?” he asked me gently, which irked me more.
“Why me?” I finally gave up being calm and shouted. I didn’t know if my anxiety was acting up again or if it was because I was feeling all sorts of things. He genuinely seemed confused by my question but didn’t know how to respond. “Why did you choose me?” I screamed
He became more baffled, “Why not you? You are everything I would want Samaira, I don’t understand why you are so confused. Why wouldn’t I pick you, princess.”
“That’s the thing!” I yelled. “You picked me . No one ever picks me. I didn’t expect it!” I was in tears.
"Nobody?" His eyes carried a tinge of sadness as he enveloped me in a warm embrace. His eyes didn’t have the pity I had gotten so used to seeing when I had ever spoken about this with friends.
"I choose you, Samaira. I choose you over every girl I've met or might meet in the future.
You're the one I want." His voice exuded a soothing and gentle swing, I was crumpled in his strong arms bright red and sniffling.
"But why me?" I inquired, wiping my nose.
"Why not you?" he responded with confidence. "You're intelligent, you read books, and although you may not go out quite as often as a person like you would, your imagination takes you to places beyond the reach of the real world. And let's not forget, you are really, really pretty.”
"Really? You appreciate me for all that?" I questioned, my self-doubt still lingering. "I thought these were the very reasons no one ever chose me. Well, except for the fact that I thought I wasn’t technically attractive, you know like I know I am pretty but not by society's standards of pretty. But I’m trying, you know. I’m trying. All my life, the guys I have dated or have come across except for a few friends have made me feel like shit for wanting the things I want, I just want to move on from the person I was before.” I say quietly, not sure if he can still hear me or he’s given up too, or somehow I managed to push him away.
Kartik
Her shoulders slump as she finishes her sentence.
My heart breaks into a million pieces at that moment knowing there was no way I could have seen this coming but knowing I don’t know what exactly to say to make her tears go away and let her be back to her grumpy self.
I would any day take a grumpy Samaira over a teary-eyed Samaira.
It didn’t make her look weak, just fragile, that if at that moment I didn’t handle or say the right thing she would break.
“I’m trying my best, doesn’t that matter?” she asks, mainly to herself as she slides down the car sitting on the ground. I carefully walk and sit beside her on the ground not touching her just yet.
“You’re enough, you’re more than enough.” She turns to look at me. At that moment she looked so lost that it broke my heart. I never wanted to see her look this lost.
“You might not feel like it may be right now, but you are enough,” I say firmly leaving no room for argument.
There’s no way she wasn’t enough; she was everything a guy could dream of.
She was everything a friend would want. She opened her mouth to argue but I gently grabbed her face with both my hands and held her, she instantly melted against me.
“You have a beautiful soul, a soul that people would die for,” she scoffed at me trying to pry it out of my hands.
I moved my hands down her shoulders and held her tightly, there was no way I was going to continue to let her believe whatever bullshit she had made up about herself in her mind.
“No listen to me, I’m serious Samaira. I trust you more than anything else in my life right now, and that’s saying a lot not because I am saying it but because I don’t trust easily but you make it so easy to trust you.
I started out trying to despise you because I finally had found someone who was willing to put me in my place.
You have a soul that people are jealous of, and the people you say made you feel shitty are the very ones who must be jealous of you for being so pure with your love towards people.
You make me feel safe, imagine! If you say society standards then shouldn’t it be a guy making a girl feel safe but with us, it’s the other way round, I however do hope you feel safe with me.
But imagine you make me feel safe. It’s almost 11 pm and we are sitting on the ground of a drive-thru parking lot of a restaurant, there could be pirates for all I care…
” She finally chuckled at that, removing herself from my grip.
I was instantly disappointed at the loss of contact.
It was quickly replaced by her holding my hand.
“Yet you make me feel safe. If you don’t want to talk about it anymore that’s fine, we can just sit here but I couldn’t let you just believe wrong things.
I want you to know I’m here for you, anything you need.
” I concluded looking into her eyes, still holding her hand.
Her eyes were now ridden of tears but they were still glassy with the exception of a few tears falling down her cheeks.
“Princess, you’re breaking my heart,” I murmured, wiping those tears.
She sniffled before trying to wipe her nose. I rose halfway and gave her my handkerchief. She looked at it and instantly had a soft smile on her face, while she shook her head and chuckled, wiping her nose. “What?”
I asked. “I have always thought what moment would lead a guy to finally offer me his handkerchief,” She said, blowing her nose. I was amused, I would never be bored by how her brain worked.
We sat there for a while quietly talking about random things on the ground.
There was silence for a while before she got up and dragged me with her.
I was skeptical about what to say next so I kept quiet and took it as a sign that she wanted to go.
I opened the car door for her, “my lady” I said as I gestured to her to get into which she giggled.
Finally, a laugh. As I sat on the driver’s side, tucking my seat belt she spoke,
”Pirates, really?” she questioned, rolling her eyes, “Couldn’t you find a better example, Kartik?
” I almost felt butterflies the way she said my name and I was awestruck by the fact that she remembered that.
I shook my head, “That’s what you remembered from everything I told you?
!” I said solemnly, to which she giggled again and I couldn’t help but smile as I pulled out of the restaurant and drove towards my house.
There was no way I was leaving her alone tonight.