9
“Put me down,” she insisted again.
They were words Vivi never thought she’d say, and to a man no less. She had to tell her fingers to unclench from the fabric of Psi’s shirt. She had to reason with her thumping heart that he wouldn’t send her flying across the room to land roughly on the hard floor.
He’d said the factual truth of the matter; Vivi couldn’t stand on her own two feet.
But she could stand on her own. She had been all on her own since the moment she crash-landed into the River Usk, sent there by the one man that was supposed to give her unconditional love and support.
And now, suspended in the air in the arms of a man whose support she’d come to crave in a very short period of time, a man whose kisses she was starting to hunger for, Vivi had been let down.
He had no right to say that to her. Did he not hear how those words sounded? Did he not remember what she’d told him about her struggle to walk, to stand on her own two feet, and the important mission she had to take in order to keep that privilege?
No, not likely. Because he’d strayed her off her path. He’d brought terrible monsters in her way. He’d made her swoon with his kisses.
Her mind was muddled. She was defenseless. Now she just wanted her shoes and a cold body of water to sink into. But first, she had to get out of his grasp.
With great reluctance, Psi did as he was told. He gently sat her in the chair. Vivi gripped the edges of the chair so that her hands wouldn’t flail now that they were no longer tucked against Psi’s body.
“My shoes,” she demanded, holding her head high though the rest of her body felt like it barely tread the waters of a mighty current.
Psi moved slowly in picking up her footwear. When he knelt to put them on her feet she snatched them from him.
“Vivi,” he sighed. “Please, let me help you.”
She couldn't look at him. She couldn’t witness the pity she was certain was in his sea-filled gaze. With her shoes firmly in place, grasping her heel and pinching her toes, Vivi stood. With cold feet, she took a step back from Psi.
“Vivi—”
“No.” She raised her hands to stop the warm stream of his words.
How had she let this happen? How had he tricked her so?
Here she was up high above the water, somewhere in the clouds. A fire blazed bright. He was trying to eat her. That was the only conclusion. He’d had a sampling of her with that kiss.
No, not a sampling. Her mouth had been the first course. He’d gotten her shoes off her and he’d been eyeing her toes. She’d been helpless in his embrace. He was toying with her, biding his time until he could take the first bite.
His golden brother had laughed at her. His fiery brother stood gawking at her in clear amusement. They were gods and everyone knew that the gods trifled with all creatures lesser than them. She didn’t know what game he played, but she did know that this could not end well for her.
Psi’s eyes blazed white as he looked down at her. She felt an unnatural compulsion to go to him, to worship him, to give her complete and utter and total devotion to him. The pull was like fighting a monster wave that was trying to drag her out beyond the shore.
Vivi shut her eyes. She shook herself and the unnatural feeling fled. But the aching in her heart remained.
“I’m sorry,” Psi breathed heavily, as though he’d swum the length of the ocean. “I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have tried to steal your soul away.”
His words made no sense to Vivi, but their meaning was clear. He didn’t want her.
“I just want to take care of you,” he said.
“I don’t believe you. Not when you, the God of the Sea, can’t provide me the one thing I asked for; passage across your very sea.”
“Is this about the shoes again? I’ll get the shoes for you. I’ll get you hundreds of pairs of shoes, just don’t leave.”
Psi’s face contorted into something resembling panic. It didn’t look as though he was toying with his food before devouring her whole. But it had to be another trick. It couldn’t be romantic desire for her that was forming a tributary in the crinkles of his sea blue eyes.
“Vivi—” Psi opened his mouth. His lips moved to protest. But she wouldn’t hear it.
“No.” She pushed against his chest. He did not budge. She felt the panic rising in her that she couldn’t escape. When his arms closed around her again she feared more that she didn’t want to escape.
Beneath her palm, his chest beat as rapidly as hers did. Why was he panicked? What was he afraid of? He didn’t want her, not truly.
He’d said she was beautiful, but she knew she wasn’t. She was too skinny and too pale and too odd. No one wanted her. Everyone shoved her aside. He’d let her fall just now. He’d cast her off after she’d gone willingly into his arms.
The problem for her was that, even if he wasn’t trying to consume her body, she felt her heart aching for him.
“I don’t want this,” she said. “I don’t want a prince or a ring or whatever you’re trying to do to me.
I don’t need the fairytale treatment. Fairy stories teach women to submit to princes, kings, and wizards.
I just want my shoes and you can’t help me with that.
You’ve done nothing but take me off my path.
You took me away from the water. You brought me up to a high tower. You took my shoes.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Trapping you is the last thing that I would ever do.”
Vivi inhaled painfully, as though her lungs were filled with water long after she’d crested the surface. She hadn’t expected his admission that he didn’t want to keep her to hurt as much as it did. He was rejecting her on solid ground, but she felt like she was drowning.
“Then let me go,” she said, her voice was a whisper in a typhoon.
Psi’s jaw ticked. Vivi’s pulse kicked up. She wasn’t sure if it was fear that he wouldn’t let her go, or fear that he would.
In the end, his hands sank away from her and she felt like she was falling again. She hadn’t realized that his grasp had been the only thing holding her up. But she refused to fall again.
Psi stepped out of her path and she wobbled. His hand reached out but pulled back before touching her.
She felt cold as she stepped away from him. She’d never felt the true sensation of cold having lived in a river her whole life. It made her skin crawl. She wrapped her arms around herself as she moved to the door, making sure to keep a wide berth from the fire demon.
From the corner of her eye, she saw that Psi watched after her, but he made no move to follow. He no longer flashed his teeth at her. His lips were pursed and his skin looked a little green as though he were sick to his stomach.
He was likely realizing exactly how far he’d let things get with her and now he was regretting it. Yes, that was it. That was the look on his face; regret.
Vivi turned away from it and out the door so that she didn’t have to see it any longer. What she couldn’t understand was why walking away from him felt exactly the same as being tossed out into the river.