BOYD
“You wanna tell me what the fuck is going on?” Rob asked, walking up behind me. “You’ve been a sulky fucker for days now.”
I’d been pitching rocks at a telephone pole for the past three hours.
Pitching them so hard I’d embedded hundreds of stones into the wood, so it looked like it had been turned into a mosaic.
I leaned against the fence, one foot propped up on the bottom rail.
My hat was tipped back, and I’d heard him walking over from the house, but I’d ignored him.
I couldn’t do that now, the nosy asshole.
Two days. I’d poured my heart out to Audrey in a letter.
When she didn’t answer that one, I’d written another.
I’d keep writing them until she answered.
I was trying to do the right thing, to tell her the truth, to give her everything I couldn’t say aloud.
Everything I wished I’d said from the beginning.
Except I suspected she hadn’t even read them.
Which meant I might have to make a grander gesture. If only I knew what would win her back. Crawling, begging and groveling weren’t off the table.
I’d planned on talking to Rob about Audrey, but I’d been pissed off at him.
I’d been too hurt to see straight. It took everything in me not to hop in my truck and go to her.
My wolf was not happy with me for staying away.
Besides dropping the letters on her stoop, I’d steered clear of everyone. Especially my brother.
Even though it wasn’t really his fault. Still, if he hadn’t talked about her in front James, fucking Karen wouldn’t have had the fuel to start a fire.
That stupid female had been trying to land a Wolf brother since we were kids.
She’d been working hard at snagging me since I’d been back.
I’d told her at the bar I wasn’t interested, made it obvious when I left with Audrey.
But no. It figured she’d step in to cause me trouble when I finally found my mate.
She was a bitch, plain and simple. To go to Audrey’s house? I could only imagine the extent of the lies she’d fed to my mate. Lies that were only perpetuated by my actions. Or, hell, my lack of action.
Rob stood there waiting, his patience one of his best traits as alpha, but also really fucking annoying. He wasn’t leaving this time, and that was good because I had a lot to say. A lot to unload if I was going to work through the shit in my head.
“I’m sorry I got our parents killed,” I said, without looking at him.
“I’m sorry you became alpha at eighteen.
Sorry you didn’t go to college because you had to raise me.
I’m surprised you want to look at my face.
There, I said it. I’m sorry, but that’s not going to bring them back.
I’m not gonna play the role of the fuck-up any more. ”
“Excuse me?” Rob sounded shocked.
I lobbed another stone at the telephone pole. “I know you never expect much from me, but I can be just as responsible as you or Colton. I could lead the pack if I had to. I’m good for more than just seducing women to keep them quiet.”
He stepped closer, set his hands on his hips. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but I have a feeling it has something to do with your doctor friend.”
“You had me seduce Audrey to make her forget I had an injury, to make her think she’d been seeing things and not wonder how I healed in a few fucking hours. You had me do it because I was the handsome one. Then you tell me not to fuck her brains out? I can never win with you.”
“Hold on. I never told you to seduce her. I told you to keep an eye on her not get your dick in her.”
I growled, chucked another rock. “Fucking Karen,” I mumbled.
“Whoa. What’s got you so riled over the doctor?”
“She’s not my doctor friend. She’s my fucking mate. My wolf recognized her the moment I saw her in the arena. That’s why I got gored—because Abe fucking Gleason asked her out and was making the moves in the stands.”
Rob gave a low whistle. “Your mate? Are you sure?”
I turned, glared.
“I had no idea,” he replied, sounding totally surprised. “Why the fuck didn’t you say something?”
I turned on him. “Say what, exactly? It’s against pack rules, right? We don’t mate humans? We don’t reveal what we are to them? What the fuck was I supposed to do, especially when you tell me to be her best fucking friend?”
Rob looked bewildered at seeing me express so much emotion. “Well, I don’t know, but we sure as shit could’ve talked it over together.” His tone was mild. Coaxing, almost, like I was still a kid.
I threw another rock so hard it split the wood when it hit.
“Are you going to mate her?”
“Well, besides the fact that it’s not allowed, that’s pretty much off the table now. Fucking Karen showed up at her house telling her you’d sent me to seduce her to keep her quiet. Thanks very much.”
Rob groaned. “She is such a goddamn bitch. She needs a mate who’ll get her under control, and that’s not going to be any of us.
Maybe it’s time for her to go visit the Canadian pack for a few months.
But you know that’s not what I said. I wouldn’t have asked it of you if I’d known how your wolf felt. I’m sorry.”
I took my hat off, ran my hand over my hair. “Yeah, well. Audrey’s finished with me now. She never believed in me. Just like you don’t.”
“Seriously, asshole? I’m about to knock you on the ground. You’re the only one who doesn’t believe in you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I snarled.
“I sent you to take care of Markle because I knew you could do it. He’s an asshole and isn’t going to go down easily. I didn’t expect him to be resolved in one night.”
“He had his eyes on Audrey, and I cleared that up pretty fast. Besides his wolf issue, I’m sure my stealing away Audrey pisses him off even more. He hates my guts.”
“Good. Let him focus his anger on you. Maybe that’ll distract him from Audrey, first off, and secondly, off of buying the Shefield property.”
“You’re not pissed about him?”
“At you?” He looked at me like I was crazy. “Hell, no. You did good. I heard you gave him a black eye.”
I couldn’t help but smile about that.
“That must’ve felt fucking good.”
I nodded.
“What the fuck did you say when I walked up—about killing Mom and Dad?”
I glanced at him, then away. “It’s true.”
“Boyd, you cannot possibly blame yourself for their deaths.” He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me around to face him. “Do you?”
My eyes smarted. “All the fucking time,” I admitted. “I was late at the fair. That put us in the canyon during the storm.”
“Mom called and said they would be late because they’d been chatting with another pack family that had moved away.”
“She did?”
“Yeah.”
“I remember them talking with the Gundersons when I finally showed up, but not her calling. It must’ve been when I went to take a leak.”
“She told me they were waiting for you but were glad you got behind because they’d have missed their friends otherwise.”
“I thought… I was unharmed in the rock slide, but I’d been trapped. I shifted, my first time, to get out of the wreckage.”
“Fuck.” He yanked me in for a hard hug. “None of that shit was your fault, you goddamn idiot.” He held me so tightly, I couldn’t breathe. After a moment, I hugged him back.
All the pain and hurt washed together, the loss of Audrey and our parents. I’d been wrong. I’d thought like a kid all this time. Assumed. It didn’t bring them back, but it made it… easier.
I finally pushed Rob away and shoved my hands in my pockets. I’d wished I’d talked to Rob years ago, but I’d stayed away. So much time I’d been wrong, that I’d been angry at myself. That I thought Rob hated me. Blamed me.
I cleared my throat. “I called Shefield’s heir.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. He left his property to a niece. She’s in graduate school for music. Seemed nice. She’s not sure what she’s going to do with the place but knows about Markle’s offer. I told her I’d match or beat any offer he made.”
“Are you serious?” Rob studied my face in surprise. “With what money?”
“Dude. How can you not have noticed?” I pointed to my huge belt buckle. “I am a fucking world champion bull rider. I’ve made a fortune, and I haven’t spent a dime. I figured the time would come when I’d find an investment that interested me.”
Rob peered at me. “And this is it? Buying the ranch next door?”
“She said she had no interest in selling to anyone, so we don’t have to worry about Markle getting the land.”
He slapped me on the shoulder. “See, you’re dealing with Markle. I never would have thought of contacting Shefield’s heir. Since she’s not selling, you still going to settle here? I thought you couldn’t wait to get away from Cooper Valley.”
I picked up another stone but didn’t throw it. I rolled it around between my fingers. “Truth is, I couldn’t wait to get away from here. From our parents’ death and feeling like a fuck-up. Turned out, no matter how far I traveled, it never went away.”
Rob shook his head. “Boyd, I am sorry if I ever made you feel that way.”
I knocked the hat off his head. “Yeah, you did. All the fucking time.”
He stooped to pick it up. “Well, I didn’t mean it.
I’m just an asshole with everyone. My job as alpha isn’t to be everyone’s best friend.
I have to make decisions others might not like.
But that’s me. You, Boyd? You’re the one with the brightest future.
You could do anything. You proved it on the rodeo circuit, but I guess I always wondered when you were gonna start really living. ”
My chest tightened painfully. I was starting now. For Audrey. If she would just take me back.
“Fuck off,” I muttered.
Rob chuckled and slapped me hard on the back. “So what are you going to do to win that female of yours back?”
What, indeed?
Wait… I turned and faced him head on. “Does that mean you’ll let me mate her?”
Rob scoffed. “I might stop you from fucking up your life with a human, but if your wolf chose Audrey, then I won’t stand in your way. Besides, there’s no way anyone could ever stop you from doing what you wanted to do. Especially not me.”
“You kicking me out of the pack?” I asked, but I already knew he wasn’t.
He rubbed the back of his neck and settled his Stetson back on his head. “You sure she’s your mate?”
I narrowed my gaze, and even he could hear my wolf growl. “Fucking positive. My teeth already came down to mark her. I’m telling you, I knew it the minute I saw her.”
“Lucky bastard.”
I had to wonder if his moon madness was affecting him. Was he searching for his mate and yet I’d found mine?
“If she’s your mate, then she’s part of the pack, too,” he stated. “Just as soon as you win her back. Don’t fuck this up again, fuck-up.”
I punched him in the shoulder. For once, I didn’t have the anger, the bad feelings when I stood with my brother. I felt… whole. So I replied with all the piss and vinegar of a kid brother. “Asshole.