Chapter 5
five
Cash
I push open the door of the football facility and suck in a few breaths of icy-cold air.
“Still feel like shit?” Lorenzo asks, watching me.
“That was brutal.”
I’m coming off a two-hour training session, and the trainer had Lorenzo and me doing speed drills so intense I still feel sick despite a cold shower and ten minutes chilling in the locker room.
“Paul’s savage. It’ll be worth it, though.”
“For you,” I tell him as we head for the parking lot. After shoulder surgery last year, months of recovery, and sitting out most of our senior season, Lorenzo’s invite to the Combine was a massive relief for him.
“Funny how you keep insisting your football career is over, yet you’re here six days a week pushing yourself so hard you’re almost puking.” He smirks. “Wonder why you’d do that if you’re not gonna show your face at the Combine.”
“Believe me, I wonder the same thing.”
I always hoped by the time my college football career was over, I’d be ready to move on from the game.
That was the great Hartnell plan: My parents allowed me my little “hobby” with the understanding that after college, I’d go back home and work in the family construction business.
I’ve always been cool with the plan and our “Family first” motto.
But when our season wrapped up, I didn’t feel any of the burnout I’d expected—and half hoped—to feel. I merely wanted more.
“Then tell me where your head’s at.”
“I don’t know, man. I told my dad I’d work for him come June, and it’s not like I see myself doing anything different, but…” I shrug. “I can’t give it up.”
“Because you’d be out of your mind to. We’re not talking about some little hobby of yours. The last four years of your life have revolved around football—”
“Seven, actually,” I offer.
“The last seven years,” he corrects, “and now you have a shot at going pro. That’s literally a dream come true.”
It’s like a stab in the heart because of how accurate it is. “Don’t need to tell me. But you know how it is with my parents. Gotta take my place in line as the heir to the family heirloom that is Hartnell Builders.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like they’re about to disown you if you change the plan.”
That’s not what I’m worried about, though. “We still giving Ruby a ride?”
“Looks like it.” He nods toward the far end of the parking lot, his eyes lighting up. I don’t need to look to know she’s standing there. Lorenzo in love is a vibe. “And she has company.”
That’s when I look and find my sister leaning up against Lorenzo’s car, in close conversation with Ruby, her curls puffing out from under a white beanie.
“How’d you find me here?” I ask her as we approach.
“How did I know you’d be leaving a two-hour training session drenched in sweat at five p.m. like you do every Monday through Saturday? Must be the twin thing.”
“And are you here to bother me or Lorenzo?”
“She’s here to bother me.” Ruby’s brown eyes sparkle as she links arms with Maisy, and they both smirk at me.
“Actually, I was hoping for a ride across campus.” She turns her smile on Lorenzo. “If it’s not any trouble?”
“You’re trouble, all right, but hop in,” Lorenzo says affectionately.
“You need to stop by your house first?” I ask my sister against my better judgment. I promised myself I wouldn’t bring up Georgia’s name to her, yet I can’t help hoping for a glimpse of the girl who’s been haunting my brain for almost twenty-two hours now. Not that I’m counting.
“Nope, just the planetarium.”
I give my sister a playful push before opening the car door for her.
“The planetarium? You get nerdier every day.” Then I remember I should be nicer.
It was Maisy’s convincing—and promise to tutor me—that got me into the Data Analytics class that’s going to guarantee me face time with my future wife.
Assuming she doesn’t always bolt from the room the second class ends like today.
“There’s a show Georgia wants to see tomorrow, and tickets are only sold in person.”
“Yeah?” I say, getting into the front seat. “She’s into astronomy? That’s cool.”
“Oh, suddenly the planetarium’s cool now that a pretty girl goes there.”
Lorenzo clears his throat, hiding his smirk.
“So how’s training?” Ruby asks as we drive out of the parking lot.
“Brutal,” Lorenzo and I say at the same time.
“Mais, you know I don’t usually stick my nose where it doesn’t belong,” Lorenzo starts, and I groan internally. “But what do you have to say about your brother skipping the Combine? Because it’s killing me.”
“Cash knows how I feel. If he’s giving up football because he wants to work his brain more than his body, I’m his biggest cheerleader. However, if he’s doing it for Mom and Dad, I say grow a pair.”
“Hey, this has nothing to do with the size of my balls. I care about the business Grandpa worked hard to build, and I care about what happens to our family.”
“Our family won’t fall apart because you make your own career decisions. You just don’t have it in you to defy Mom and Dad.”
“Oh, like you do?”
“Well, I’m just fragile little Maisy who can’t be trusted to figure out what’s best for herself,” she says with an affected feminine voice.
I sigh. “They don’t—”
“Yes they do. Admit it. And you’re the big, strong man who needs to take care of the family, or else.”
I stare out the window as we pass students trudging home, their hat-covered heads dipped against the wind. Maisy’s version of events is an exaggeration, not a lie.
“Or else what, though?” Ruby asks. “What would they actually do if you didn’t follow their plan?”
I’m hoping that’s a rhetorical question, because I don’t have the answer.
Unfortunately, a glance over my shoulder reveals I’m wrong.
“I don’t know.” And that’s the truth. Lorenzo’s right, they wouldn’t disown me, and Maisy’s right, our family won’t fall apart.
But I’ve suffered the weight of Mom and Dad’s disappointment before, and I never want to experience it again.
I don’t feel responsible for our family just because my parents say so; I feel it because I remember what happens when I put my interests first.
I keep my eyes on my phone once we pull up to the planetarium, yet as soon as my sister’s out of the car, I can’t stop myself from glancing around for Georgia, even though there’s no reason she’d be here.
It’s dark, and people are bundled in puffy coats and hats, but I’d know the sparkle of her eyes anywhere.
“Who are you looking for?” Ruby asks, leaning forward in the back seat. I glance at her, not liking the air of suspicion in her voice.
“Mind your business, Ruby dear.”
“Oh.” She sits back. “A girl, huh? What did you do this time, make her fall in love with you, adopt a puppy, and name it Cash?”
If only I had that power over Georgia. “Just another Friday night.”
As Lorenzo pulls away from the curb, my relief and disappointment are equal. I haven’t stopped thinking about my dream girl since we met, and it’s exhausting. Even when my mind turns to football or training, she’s right there when I lose focus.
I wouldn’t say I believe in love at first sight, but I believe in spark at first sight, in connecting with someone before the first words are ever spoken. And if I didn’t believe in it before Georgia, now I damn sure do.
When I approached her at the bar, I thought she didn’t know who I was, and for the first time in my life, I liked that feeling.
I’m not one to take my celebrity status on campus for granted like Reeve or shun it like Cam—I’ve always loved the admiration, the pretty girls, and the free drinks, free food, and, well, general freedom to bend the rules.
But being a nobody in Georgia’s eyes meant that when she smiled, she was smiling at me.
Now I realize she did know me, though not as the football star; as Cash, the unselfconscious, happy-go-lucky kid I was before I became a campus celebrity. That’s someone nobody here at Shafer knows except Maisy. Georgia knew who I was before all this. I can’t figure out why that feels so good.
On our way home, I make Lorenzo stop at the pet store to get some canned food and colorful toys for Mr. Jangles, who I eat dinner with in comfortable silence before showing her her new toys.
Pet ownership has been a pain in my ass—stocking up on supplies, finding a vet with immediate availability, and buying what I swear are the most expensive pieces of junk disguised as toys—but when the vet gave me a list of options for rehoming her yesterday, I was overcome with protectiveness.
This is her home. She doesn’t deserve to be shuffled around, and while Vee’s a wild card, she wasn’t lying about me promising to help.
I said it, and I meant it. And it’s not the first time speaking without thinking has had a surprise ending.
I just have to make sure this is the only time it results in a baby of any kind being dropped at my doorstep.
Maybe my sister was right that there’s an art to holding back.
The bed creaks as I plop down with a sigh.
Half a second later, Jangles jumps up and snuggles into the blanket draped over my lap, purring like a tiny engine.
A burst of warmth blooms inside my chest while I marvel at her.
We’re less than a week into this relationship, and already she trusts me completely.
I run a hand down her soft back, sending a word of gratitude for Vee into the universe, before grabbing the nutrition plan my trainer gave me and reviewing my training-progress tracker chart.
I’m proud of my effort today, but I sigh thinking about having to do it all again tomorrow.
Lorenzo’s right. Why in the world am I doing this if I never plan to do anything with football except show my future kids how to stiff arm and spin out of tackles?
I could be sleeping in, playing video games, and drinking until the bars close like every single one of my friends with no future in professional sports.
While I know I’m not the only second-semester college senior confused about life after graduation, how do I even begin weighing the options when I want so many simultaneous impossibilities?
I want to keep training, but I want to take my place in the family business.
I want money and cars and diamonds, but I want to sit down to dinner with my parents and sister every Sunday.
I want to be a household name, but I want to be close to home.
And now a new one to add to the list: I want to go down in history as the only man on earth who can make Georgia smile with her whole heart.