44
SELENA
FLASHBACK-DIARY ENTRY
November 4th
First week done. I don't know anyone here. Don't want to. He brought me coffee again today. Sat with me on the roof for ten minutes. Didn't say a word. I don't know why he keeps doing this. I don't know why I let him.
November 11th
I was crying on the roof today. Couldn't stop. Didn't hear him come up. He didn't say anything. Didn't ask why. Didn't try to fix it. He just sat down next to me. Close enough that I could feel he was there. Far enough that I didn't feel crowded. We sat like that for a long time. When I finally stopped, he handed me his handkerchief. I took it. He still didn't say a word. That was the kindest thing anyone has done for me in months.
November 18th
He's the only one who talks to me now. Not about work. Just talks. About the weather. About nothing. Everyone else leaves me alone. I prefer it that way. But with him, it doesn't feel heavy.
December 2nd
Today he asked if I was okay. Not as my boss. As someone who noticed I wasn't. I didn't answer. He didn't push. He never pushes. I think that's why I don't mind him being here.
January 15th
He brought me lunch today. I didn't ask for it. Didn't expect it. He just appeared at my desk with a sandwich and sat down.
"You forgot to eat again."
I stared at him. "How do you know that?"
He shrugged. "I notice things."
I ate the sandwich. He didn't stay. Didn't make it weird. Just left like it was nothing. It wasn't nothing.
February 14th
He asked me out today. A real date. Dinner. A car. Everything. I stared at him. My heart raced. My hands went cold.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why?"
"Because..." I couldn't finish. Couldn't say it. Because everyone leaves. Because you'll hurt me too. Because I can't do this again.
He waited. Didn't push. Just waited.
"Because you're scared."
It wasn't a question. I nodded.
He smiled. Soft. Gentle. "I know."
"Then why—"
"Because you're worth being scared for."
I didn't know what to say.
"Think about it," he said. "No pressure. Just think about it." He walked away.
I stood there for a long time. No one has ever said I was worth being scared for.
February 18th
I said yes. I don't know if it's the right choice. I don't know if I'll get hurt again. But for the first time in months, I felt something other than empty. And that has to count for something.