22. Willa
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
WILLA
T his whole peeing every thirty minutes is pissing me off. I’ve barely made it through each holiday mini-session before beelining to the bathroom. I swear I’ve run back there ten times today. Yet, here I am, sipping water at my desk because I’ve never been this damn thirsty in my life.
“Hey, Willa!” Cara strolls through the door with a smile and a newly dyed lavender bob framing her face. My junior photographer is taking over the rest of the holiday minis today so I can get to my twelve-week appointment. She just doesn’t know that’s the reason.
I still haven’t told anyone at work about being pregnant, and luckily, my assistant Emily is too much of a space cadet to notice my frequent breaks.
At first, I didn’t want to jinx anything, knowing how iffy the first trimester can be.
But after my parent’s reaction last week, I don’t have any interest in sharing baby news with anyone else.
“Hey!” I minimize the seven mommy blogs on my computer screen as she passes by.
I’ve channeled my anger from Thanksgiving into researching how to travel through Europe with an infant in tow.
There are a few bloggers who’ve done it, and it seems doable for me with some adjustments.
Excitement sparks in my chest, my teeth stifling the smile threatening my lips.
I don’t have to give up Europe . I can make this work .
“Who’s coming in today?” Cara asks, her hip leaning against the edge of my desk. I stand to show her today’s setup.
“The Barlow family is first. They requested candy canes and snowmen, which I’ve already laid out.” I gesture toward the snowy backdrop hanging on the wall.
“Ooh, the kids will love that!”
“My thoughts exactly.” The little Barlow twins are going to lose it over the tiny snowman stuffies I found. “Emily confirmed the pet deposit went through for Mrs. Albert, so we should be all set there. Just remember, her dog tries to eat everything.”
“Got it. Thanks for trusting me with this on my own, Willa. I really appreciate it.”
“You’ve come so far this year.” Squeezing her arm, I give her a reassuring smile, mentally sending her all the good luck I can.
“You’ll do great. We’ll work together on edits later this week.
” These will be her first solo sessions, and even though it’s only two, I remember how nerve-racking it can be.
That’s why I haven’t told her this is a trial run for when I leave on my trip.
Settling back at my desk, I dig into the bag of peanut butter crackers I’ve been thinking about since the Delta family walked out ten minutes ago. I want to get some Christmas card sneak peeks sent off before I head out, but as soon as I wake up my computer, my phone buzzes.
Trevor
You sure I can’t pick you up?
Me
I’m just down the street. I’ll be fine.
Trevor
Okay, but dinner’ s on me…
Oh, and don’t be surprised when you come home to a clean kitchen
I roll my eyes as I set down my phone, but the smile sliding across my lips is undeniable.
He would clean my kitchen, even after I told him to leave the mess for me as I rushed out to work this morning.
We got back from Bender a few days ago, and Trevor’s stayed with me all weekend, taking a personal day so he can be at my appointment this afternoon.
After seeing him stick up for me to my parents—hearing his confidence in my abilities to be a mother—I have to acknowledge how nice it is to have someone on my side.
To feel protected for once. Not to mention every horny molecule that surged through my body at his deep, assertive baritone.
I still have to fan myself when I think about it.
But that’s definitely just the hormones speaking. I looked it up to be sure.
“How’s my favorite patient?” Dr. Quentin asks, sliding her rolling stool in front of the exam chair. “Still feeling yucky?”
“It’s tapered off, as long as I eat every forty-five minutes.”
“Good. Good. Make sure you’re eating lots of fresh produce along with your cravings. Any questions for me?” She looks from me to Trevor and back. When I shake my head, he scoffs.
“She’s been having nightmares and can’t get back to sleep after.” He glances at me, smirking at my side-eye.
“See! I knew I liked you, Trevor. Keeping our girl honest.” She smiles at him before fixing her eyes on me.
“Vivid dreaming, nightmares, even sex dreams—they’re all normal.
Your body’s going through a lot of stress right now.
Hormones are all over the place. It should taper off as the pregnancy progresses.
In the meantime, try to minimize stress during waking hours.
Rest when you’re tired, less screen time in the evening, daily walking. Oh, and sex.”
“Uhhh…” I swear my gulp is louder than the snickering happening behind me. I don’t dare look back at Trevor.
“Yep. Well, orgasms, specifically. You don’t have to have intercourse, but any of those things should help with stress.
” She smiles and turns around on her stool to open the cupboard behind her.
“Now, let’s check on that baby. Let me grab the Doppler.
” My heart thumps wildly. I can’t decide if this is nerves about the baby or the thought of having doctor-prescribed sex with the man I’ve been cuddling in my bed the last several nights.
She smears the warmed gel over my belly with the fetal Doppler wand. “We’re just going to see if we can hear the heartbeat. It’s early, so I don’t want you to worry if we can’t pick it up. I’ll double-check everything with another ultrasound if it comes to that.”
Holding my breath, I nod quickly, suddenly terrified we won’t hear anything. Just as soon as I tense, Trevor’s warm breath fans over my ear. “You gotta breathe, Gem.”
The air stays trapped in my throat anyway. This is the most stressful thing I’ve ever experienced, waiting to see if those ever-persistent sound waves will pick up the tiniest heartbeat.
Dr. Quentin smooths the wand around my belly. “Oh, that’s loud!” She cranks the dial down on the machine and flashes a smile. “That one’s yours. Let’s just move it…yep! There it is. That’s your little nugget!”
My eyes widen at the rapid pulsing coming from the speaker. It’s so fast, as if the little one is sprinting in a marathon inside me. There’s an actual baby in there . I turn to a slack-jawed Trevor with tears in my eyes, his gaze plastered to the machine.
Smiling, she reaches for a towel to clean the wand.
“It’s amazing, isn’t it? Hard to believe that little chaos maker is in there and you can’t even feel them.
Let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll see you back in four weeks.
” She wipes the gel off my stomach as calm as a summer’s day, tossing the towel in a basket casually, as if she didn’t just witness my entire world changing.
With one repetitive whoosh, that tiny nugget has carved out the center of my heart and nestled in tightly.
I’ll do everything in my power to ensure safety.
I’m going to be a mom. A damn good one too.