26. Willa
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
WILLA
“ N o boy bands today, huh?” I ask as we pull out of my neighborhood. Trevor’s picked my favorite throwback R&B station.
“I noticed you had this on at the studio a couple weeks ago. Figured it was a safe choice,” he says.
“You…did?”
“Yep.” He turns to check his blind spot. “I notice lots of things, Gem.”
“Like what else?”
“ Like …” His eyes flick to the rearview mirror. “You didn’t say anything when I cleaned up last night.”
“That’s because it’s a waste of breath. You’ll just do it anyway.”
“Look at you, finally catching on…” He flashes a smile. “You don’t freeze when I touch you anymore, either.”
“When did I do that?”
“Every time, usually. And you smile at me, even if I haven’t tried to make you laugh.”
Oh , so he’s just calling me out now ? “Okay…and what does this mean, All- Knowing Trev ?”
“Oh yeah, you call me Trev now too… Admit it, Willa. We’re friends.”
I laugh. “Yes, Trevor , we’re friends. Happy now?”
“Mostly.” He smirks, angling the car into a parking spot.
Havenwood Shopping Center is set up like an outlet mall, with larger department stores surrounding the interior chain shops and food court.
The Sunday morning crowd is already bustling, carrying Christmas packages and large bags filled with goodies.
I’m not looking forward to barreling through overzealous shoppers today, but it snows in Nebraska.
A heavy coat and winter maternity clothes for our time in Heritage are a necessity.
I shoot a text off to Ashlie and Hunter, who are meeting us here.
Before I can reach for the handle, Trevor’s already opening my door.
My instinct to roll my eyes fizzles when they meet his sexy smile, and I suck my lip between my teeth.
He offers his hand, and once I’m out of the car, disappointment hits from the loss of his fingers around mine. This is ridiculous .
“Hey, girl!” Ashlie waves when we enter the food court, untangling herself from Hunter’s arms and bouncing toward us. Hunter nods in our direction. Ashlie checks me with her hip and slips her arm around my back. “Let’s get started before you change your mind and decide to go home.”
Wordlessly, Trevor digs in his back pocket for his wallet, prompting me to shake my head.
“Absolutely not. I draw the line at you paying for my clothes.” He stares right at me, smirking while he pulls out his credit card anyway and hands it to Ashlie, triggering the eye roll that fizzled in the parking lot. “I can buy my own clothes, Trev.”
“Oh, I know you can . But you’re not gonna.” He turns to Ashlie like they preplanned for this to happen. “Make sure she gets everything she wants, even if she puts it back.”
“This isn’t my first rodeo, Trev. I’ll hook your girl up.”
Trevor leans in to whisper in my ear. “Remember the bookstore? Don’t think I won’t buy everything on the racks if I find out you put something back that you really want.
” Heat fills my cheeks, and I shudder as his breath tickles my neck.
The goosebumps rising at his satisfied chuckle almost make me come undone in this very public space.
Hunter claps his hands together. “Okay, you two, save your power struggle kink for the bedroom. I want to play around with that new Starbar notepad before the store gets crazy.”
Trevor laughs and squeezes my shoulder as he steps away. Before they turn the corner into the shopping center, he calls over his shoulder, “I better see bags, Willa.”
“Ooh, girl. I might lose the bet. He’s done for.” Ashlie fans herself with Trevor’s credit card before slipping it in the pocket of her jeans.
“What bet?”
“The one Hunter and I have on how long it’ll take you two to boink again. I say you’ll hold out until New Year’s. Hunt thinks you’ll cave by Christmas.”
“Please don’t make bets on me ‘boinking’ anyone.”
“Oh, I forget we have Ms. Academia over here.” Ashlie straightens out her shoulders and takes on a deep voice. “Our wager, Professor Wilhelmina, is a conjecture of the initiation of coitus between you and Mr. Jones.”
“I’m ready to go home now.” I take a step toward the door, and she pulls me back, cackling as she tugs me farther into the mall. “Why are you betting against me? As my sister, aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”
“Girl, I am . He’s good to you, Wills. Good for you. Better than anyone else you’ve ever been with, and it’s clear as day he’s gone for you. You just need to get out of your head and let him sweep you off your feet.”
“Sounds horrible,” I mumble, trying to slam the lid on the feelings blossoming inside me. I’ve never been swept off my feet and had it stick. In my experience, feet sweeping is always accompanied with whiplash whenever the guy gets comfortable. Maybe not right away, but it happens eventually.
“Come on. This card is burning a hole in my pocket.” Ashlie loops her arm in mine as we round the corner, smiling like the ray of sunshine she is. My nightmare of a man-sponsored shopping spree is a dream come true for her.
After making me try on way too many winter coats, Ashlie convinces me to go for the lilac puffer jacket with faux fur lining the hood.
It’s my favorite color, so I was drawn to it when we first entered Parka Emporium.
But one look at the price tag had me charging for the clearance rack.
The thought of spending that much money on something I’ll only wear for a week churns my stomach, especially when I’m not paying for it myself.
Since my sister’s loyalties clearly lie with the cardholder, she threatened to call Trevor if I didn’t at least try it on.
Once I did, and she pointed out the smile on my face, I agreed it looked good.
She wouldn’t even let me get it back on the hanger before she marched to the cash register with it.
Now that we’re in Mama Maternity, Ashlie leans a hip against the wall while looking at me through the mirror. “Wills, you can’t hate everything you’ve tried on. And I know my little nibling is getting hungry. What’s the problem?”
I cringe at her through the mirror. “The problem is you calling my kid a nibling .” Sighing, I pull at the empire waisted tunic with a frown.
It’s a cute top, but the more things we pull off the racks, the worse my attitude gets.
I need new clothes. My jeans are already too tight to be comfortable, and I know it’s only going to get worse from here on out.
Maternity clothes are a basic necessity, but Trevor’s insistence on buying them for me is a major mental block.
I sit on the wooden bench next to my dressing room and slump against the wall.
“I don’t know. It’s all of this, I guess.
The clothes. The credit card. Trevor giving me whatever I ask for. ”
“You’re worried this is a Carter repeat?”
I puff out a breath and nod. My ex would drag me to this mall and force me to buy clothes he deemed fitting for the girlfriend of an up-and-coming hotshot lawyer.
Clothes that I didn’t get a say in because he was footing the bill.
Clothes I wouldn’t have been caught dead in before, and that I’ve stayed away from since.
He was controlling, with a temper he hid behind expensive three-piece suits.
“Willa, Carter was a polished turd at best, and a piece of shit at his worst. I can see why today might give you pause, but Trevor’s not trying to control you. He’s trying to support you. You don’t see the difference?”
I shrug, letting out a heavy sigh. “It’s the whole surprise aspect. Neither of you told me about this secret plan today, and I’m in my head about it.”
“Explain please?”
“Really?” I roll my eyes.
“Yes, really.” She sits next to me on the bench, turning to face me. “I’m having a hard time understanding how a surprise shopping spree equates to Trevor being the next Carter, so help me out.”
I guess she doesn’t really know this, since I kept the complicated aspects of my last relationship from everyone except Sam.
There’s no way she could understand how I felt like a hostage trapped behind a glimmering facade that no one seemed to question.
I shrunk inside myself until I was unrecognizable, letting Carter rule almost every aspect of my life, save for my business.
It sounds dumb as hell, but the bastard was a familiar replacement for how I grew up—controlling, intrusive, callous.
“Carter would surprise me like this, pulling out special collections of expensive clothes he wanted to see me in, going into a rampage about my being ungrateful if I didn’t like something.
I know it’s not the same, but it feels too similar, and I can’t shake it. ”
“Wills, I had no idea.”
“That’s because I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s embarrassing I fell for any of it.”
“Girl, if I knew, I wouldn’t have suggested this to Trevor.”
My mouth falls open right as a pang of guilt hits me. “This was your idea?”
“Yeah.” She flashes a quick smile. “I like seeing you being pampered for once. When I suggested it to him, he was giddy at the thought of spoiling you.” Her hand slips over mine, and she gives a reassuring squeeze. “I thought it would be a good thing, but we can put all of this back.”
“I—oh.” I blink several times, trying to integrate this new information into my assumption-induced attitude.
Trevor and Ash were trying to help me feel special, and I turned it into a Carter memorial.
What is my fucking problem ? Ashlie squeezes my hand again, then walks into my dressing room.
Am I really trippin’ over some clothes ?
Vulnerability from all of this support ?
Or is it that I feel my heart softening to someone when I swore I’d never let that happen again ?
She comes back a few minutes later with the stack of clothes neatly placed back on the hangers, and the truth hits me hard. Maybe it’s all of it…
“Ash, it’s okay. I’ll get the clothes.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured. I’ll deal with Trev?—”
“I’m sure. You’re right. This isn’t even close to the same thing.”
Relief relaxes the dent between her eyebrows as she comes toward me. “Okay. Let’s pay and get a snack while we wait for the guys. If I’m hungry, I know you’ve got to be starving.”
“Starving was thirty minutes ago,” I tease, climbing to my feet. She turns toward the register, but I catch her elbow. “Hey, Ash?”
“What’s up?” The worried shadow falls back over her face as she searches mine.
“Thank you for thinking of me…”
Her bottom lip wobbles as a soft smile appears, and she pulls me in for a hug. This damn baby must be making me soft because I hug her back. “I just like seeing you happy, okay?” she warbles. “No thanks necessary.”
With bags in hand, we head to the food court for soft pretzels with mustard, one of our only bonding points when we were younger.
I’ve just polished mine off when something grazes my shoulder.
Like he was summoned from the depths of hell, the dark brown eyes of a suit-wearing demon with platinum blond hair appears.
Carter - fucking - Zane . Seriously, who wears a suit to the mall on a Sunday?
“Wow, sweetheart, it’s been too long.” His blinding white smile doesn’t reach his eyes, and I have to tell myself not to look away. He’s sizing me up, seeing how much of a hold he still has on me. I can say with absolute certainty, he has none.
I drop my shoulder and his hand falls slightly before he recovers by putting it on the back of my chair. “Not long enough,” I reply with a scowl.
“Ashlie,” he taunts, keeping his eyes on me.
“Asshole,” she fires back, tapping on her phone.
“Well, aren’t you lovely? It must run in the family… You been getting my messages?”
“What messages?” I ask in a level tone.
“Oh, you know which messages I’m talking about, Willa.
The ones you refuse to answer.” With a finger covered in fake tanner, he sweeps a twist over my shoulder.
Ashlie promptly pulls me toward her with a scoff.
His eyes flick to her, but just as soon, they’re making a sweeping assessment up and down my body.
If I could crawl out of my skin, I would. “We really should catch up…”
“Catch me in hell.” My hands curl into fists on the table while I seethe at how close he is. “And keep your hands off of me.”
He tuts. “I do miss that mouth, beautiful. You remember how great we used to be together?” Brushing another twist over my shoulder, his fingers skirt across my neck, and I see red.
I fling his hand away, about to spring into his face, when Trevor steps in between us.
Scooting my chair back, I make room for whatever is about to happen.
“She told you to keep your hands to yourself.” Trevor’s voice is low and gruff, a stark difference from the jovial tone I’m used to hearing from him. He positions himself in front of me completely. “If you want to keep them, I suggest you listen. ”
Carter tries to step back but bumps right into Hunter, whose hard scowl is withering. “And you are?”
“Trevor. You?”
“Carter Zane. Attorney at Johnson and Associates.”
“And that’s working out well for you?”
“I’d say so, considering I just made partner.”
Hunter scoffs, but I can’t see anything around Trevor’s rigid back.
“I suggest you leave these ladies alone before your partners get a complaint of sexual harassment against you.” Trevor squares his shoulders, that deep vibrato in his voice doing things to my insides. The sound alone sends shivers up my spine in a “take me home right now” kind of way.
“Oh? And what proof do you have?”
“He has none, but I sure do.” Ashlie nods toward her phone.
“Evidence of textual and sexual harassment. And if you mess with her again, I’ll blast this shit everywhere.
Smile and wave, Carter Zane.” Trevor steps to the side, and I catch the flash of fear in Carter’s eyes before he reels it back in.
I smirk at the glare he sends me, holding his gaze until he clears his throat and looks around the room.
“You take care of yourself, sweetheart.” He raps his knuckles on the table, then straightens his pretentious suit jacket and walks away.
The muscle in Trevor’s jaw flutters wildly, nostrils flared while his eyes stay fixed on the door. It’s not until Carter exits to the parking lot that he squats next to my chair. The hard lines on his face melt into concern when his eyes meet mine. “You okay, Gem?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” I’m more than good, really. Twice now, he’s stepped up to someone in my defense. Both times, it’s left me with this undeniable urge to latch on to him and never let go. Maybe I should stop fighting it .