6. CHARLOTTE
6
S itting in the passenger seat of his truck is not as awkward as I expected it to be.
He glances at me as he pulls into the drive-through of the Burger Shack in town.
“You wanna share a burger?”
“No.” I pull a face, looking at him as if he’s lost his mind.
“What do you mean, no?” He searches my face while he slightly turns his body, a frown creased on his forehead. “You don’t want to eat?”
“I don’t want to share a burger. I want my own damn burger.”
Color me weird, but I feel like when you indulge in the temptation of a greasy burger, you gotta do it right. Not half ass that shit and pretend half a burger is enough for a late-night snack. It’s not. If I’m having a burger at ten p.m., I’m having the whole thing.
“You do?” His brows move up to his hairline as his perfectly pink lips curl into an amused grin.
“Am I your friend, Hunter?” My tone is serious, with just a hint of mocking.
I turn to press my back against the door so I can look him in the eye, a smile trying to sneak through my lips.
“Yeah.”
“Then why would you deny me half a burger? Friends don’t do that to friends,” I sass .
A pent-out breath flies from his lungs with a chuckle before he lifts his snapback, only to put it back on his head. “You’re weird.”
“Why the fuck is that so weird?” Biting my lip, I hold in my laughter.
“I don’t know, most girls want half a burger. Calories and shit.” He shrugs, beaming at me as if I’m the most remarkable creature he’s ever seen. A look that gets me all tingly in body parts that definitely shouldn’t be tingly right now.
“Yeah, well, that’s the whole reason I’m in your car, right?” I cock my head a little with defiance as I keep my eyes locked with him. He stares at me, a hint of longing in his eyes that’s growing by the second, a hint I inwardly slap away.
Friends. It doesn’t mean anything. We are friends .
“What I will do, Hunter, is give you half of mine if you give me half of yours, preferably one with cheese.”
I give him a smile that stretches my face as he just keeps blinking at me, looking awe-struck.
Finally, he grabs his chest. “I think you just took a piece of my heart.”
“Oh, shut up.” I chuckle, looking away when I notice the car in front of us moving forward. He turns his focus back to the drive-through, placing our order at the first window, even though he keeps glancing at me from the corner of his eye every chance he gets.
Sitting here with this boy feels new, scary, and exciting, yet completely safe and familiar at the same time. I watch him while he pays the cashier, then he’s handed the food, placing it in my lap as he drives his truck to one of the empty parking spots, and we start dividing everything up. He places the side of fries between us on the center console for both of us to share, then hands over my double cheeseburger .
“So, why did you ditch your girlfriend?” I take a bite of my burger, lazily leaning the back of my head against the window. I know it’s none of my business, but the words roll off my tongue before I can stop them.
“She’s not my girlfriend.” He sinks his teeth into his burger, keeping his intense brown eyes locked with mine.
“Yet you know exactly who I’m talking about,” I mock, taking another bite.
“Told ya, I don’t do girlfriends.” He shrugs his shoulders.
“Does she know that? Because I wouldn’t want any backlash for hanging out with you.” My hands reach for a fry, and I put it in my mouth. I know my curiosity might come off as jealousy, but the friendly look in his eyes makes me believe this is a safe zone between the two of us. Besides, with his track record, there’s a good possibility I’ll get a target on my back just for sitting in his car.
“Psh, if you get backlash from anyone, I’ll be kicking their asses myself. Girl or guy.” I hold in a moan at his reply, my heart growing just a teeny, tiny bit. “Besides, it's not my problem if she doesn’t.”
“Right.” I smile, reminding myself how arrogant he is.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” I take the last bite of my half of my burger before I hand it over to him, as he does the same with his.
“Why isn’t there a guy claiming your time?” he asks while the tips of his fingers sweep against mine when we exchange the food. A soft flutter goes through my stomach, and I sigh deeply with a smile haunting my lips before I reply.
“Probably because you beat ’em to it?”
“Glad I did.” He winks, and I completely understand why every girl swoons over him. Hunter looks like trouble, but he flirts like Prince Charming .
“Stop flirting with me.” I roll my eyes with a chuckle, silently vowing to myself I won’t let him charm his way into my heart like he does with every other girl in our class.
“Fine,” he counters as he fakes annoyance.
The level of comfort I feel around him is confusing the hell out of me.
I let my eyes scan his beautiful face, noticing the small scars that subtly add an edge to his expression. His black eye is less visible today, but the cuts on his face still make him look rough on the outside.
We eat the rest of our food in an easy silence before I lie down in the passenger seat, adjusting the back down so I can get comfortable. I reach out my hand to pull his Coke from his grasp, then take a sip. He just smiles, still looking at me in the same position, unbothered by my cheeky behavior.
He keeps staring at me, but as an invisible chord seems to lure our gazes together like magnets, I sink myself deeper into the seat with a satisfying feeling. Like we’ve created this safe and warm cocoon of our own. Like this is exactly where I’m supposed to be right now.
“My mom has cancer,” I blurt.
He winces at my revelation, then blinks a few times, before he lets out a groan and his expression softens.
“Shit, babe. I’m sorry,” he replies after a moment of silence between us. I don’t blame him. It’s the same thing that always happens when I tell people my mom is sick. Because really, how do you respond to that? You barely can, because there is no right response, and anything you say will make the entire conversation awkward.
But not with Hunter.
I can sense how troubled he is at hearing the admission, but it’s not uncomfortable. The air inside the truck doesn’t change for the worse like I’d expect. If anything, it feels as if it expands our growing connection, both having moms who can’t really take care of us.
“Yeah, since I was eight. Lung cancer.”
“That’s a long time.” His hand reaches out to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, looking at me with encouragement to continue, as the soft touch of his skin against mine warms me on the inside.
“I know.” I close my eyes, the can of Coke resting on my stomach, as I hold it with both hands. “It’s weird, but at this point, I don’t think I know any better. You know? I’m so used to her being sick that I can barely remember her not being sick. She’s been in and out of remission every few years, and every single time, I hope it sticks. But...” I shrug. “She’s pretty sick again now.”
“Do you guys have help?” I can detect the worry in his voice, and it unintentionally warms my chest.
“My grandmother tries to help, but she lives out of state, so she’s only here every three months. Mrs. Applebaum lets me borrow her car for appointments at the hospital or makes us dinner every once in a while. Other than that, it’s just me.”
“You’ve been taking care of your mother all this time?” He lets out a deep sigh, as if he wishes he could take over my burden. No one can take over my burden. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. I owe my mother everything; it’s why I don’t mind taking care of her. She took care of me. Now I take care of her. It’s as simple as that.
“It’s not like I have a choice.”
“That’s heavy, babe.” His voice is strained, eyes concerned.
“It’s okay. I’d rather take care of her than have her six feet under.” I give him a smile to make him more at ease, but instead he bites his lip as if he’s doing his best to not make a big deal out of it, just like I am.
“I’m sorry, Charls. ”
“Charls?” I cock my eyebrow.
He lets out a chuckle that lightens the mood, then throws me a playful look.
“As much as I like Charlotte, it’s too long for me. And Julie already has Charlie,” he clarifies. “I need my own.”
“You do realize it’s the same number of syllables as Hunter.” I smile, pressing my shoulder deeper into the leather seat to keep my focus on him.
He throws back his backrest and gets comfortable, closing his eyes. “More letters don’t count.”
Instantly, my nose inhales the sweet scent that is his, which slightly overwhelms my senses. A mix of something fresh and woodsy, making me wish I could bury myself in it.
“I’m not sure I’m on board with this. But you’ll get a pass. For now.”
“Good,” he responds, not moving an inch. “So, what is your mom’s prognosis?”
“Pff, who knows?” I huff, examining his rugged face once more. His chiseled jaw is completely hairless, and I wonder if he still has a baby face or if he has to shave every few days. He turns his head, silently asking me for more, and I take it as my cue to continue, while getting a little lost in his gaze.
“She’s been in remission three times now, but it returned every time. Eight months ago, she had another x-ray where they found another spot on her lung, and they treated her right away. Now she’s doing her last chemo and the doctors say it’s looking very hopeful. But I don’t wanna look too far ahead, you know?” I’ve gotten excited about my mom fully healing more than once, so this time I’m a bit more vigilant with my hopeful feelings.
He hums in agreement, softly nodding his head. “So you guys don’t have a car? ”
I shake my head. “It broke down last year. We don’t have the funds to replace it. Not yet, anyway. When my mom gets better, I’m sure we will.”
“When is her next appointment?”
“Next Thursday at two.”
“You can borrow my truck.”
“Really?” I look at him with surprise. “Why would you do that? You don’t even know me.”
“You’re a good girl, and you can use all the help you can get, Charls. What else do I need to know?”
An affectionate expression takes over his face, and I’ve never felt more seen in my life. “I would take you myself, but I have detention the entire week. You can pick me up after?”
“Of course, you have detention,” I taunt.
“Gotta keep up my monthly quota,” he jokes, igniting a laugh from my chest.
“Thank you, I appreciate it.” I beam, a bit stunned by his unexpected offer. He might look like trouble, but this only confirms my first impression of him. He’s a force to be reckoned with if you get on his bad side, but deep down, his heart is as gold as the sun.
“Wouldn’t your mom mind, though?” The relationship with his mother is all but good and the last thing I want is for him to get into trouble with her.
“Fuck her.” His disdain is audible, and for a brief moment, his mood is ripped to shreds, but as quickly as it’s there, it’s tossed away by another smoldering look.
“Right. Well, thank you. It saves me Uber money,” I tell him gratefully.
“Sure,” he drawls, as if it’s no big deal. A silence forms as we both look out the front window, completely content with just sitting here and keeping each other company .
“I know you don’t want to talk about her, but I’m a good listener. I mean, if you ever do, that is. Talk about your mom, I mean,” I explain, more clumsily than it sounded in my head. Now that I’ve had a glimpse of his heart, I want him to have someone to be there for him more than anything. My gut tells me that he has been dealing with life alone for far too long, and I want him to know he’s not alone. That I’m here for him.
His head slowly turns toward mine, examining my face with a troubled smile. He reaches out his hand to push back another strand of my silky hair, then cups my cheek. I want to lean into his touch forever.
“I know this sounds weird, since we met yesterday. But there’s just something about you. I can’t shake it.”
It’s as if his heart is bleeding right in front of me, making my own hurt for him.
He’s keeping up this strong front for the rest of the world, but I see right through the act. See the boy inside of him who’s starving for some genuine affection.
“Like what?” I press, covering my hand with the one he has on my face. The tension rises like a balloon, ready to burst my bubble any second now, but I can’t deflect from it either.
He takes a deep breath while his thumb starts to stroke my cheek. There’s at least two feet of air separating us, but still, this feels awfully intimate.
“Like the need to keep you close. Forever. Like I can trust you with my life, saving me from the darkness.” He looks at me with an intensity that makes me hold my breath, stripping me naked with every second that passes by before he moves his lips again. “Will you be that girl for me, Charls? Will you always be my friend? Friends first?”
My heart falls a little at the word “friend,” though that’s exactly what I’ve been telling myself. I want to be his friend; I want to be there for him. I want to be the safe haven he doesn’t have .
But then why does my heart take a beating at the same time? Ending us before we even begin? But part of me is also relieved. Relieved because I have a feeling this boy has the ability to hook me with a smile and crush me with a glare. Becoming anything but safe for my heart.
Yeah, friends are exactly what we should be if I want to keep my heart intact.
I swallow hard, then plaster a smile on my face, knowing I want all he can give me. All he has to offer. If he needs me to be his friend, I’ll be the best friend he can get.
“I will always be your friend, Hunter. Friends first.”