28. CHARLOTTE
28
I wake up feeling the safest I’ve ever felt in my life. The warmth of Hunter’s body glues us together, while his sleeping breath softly fans the back of my neck with his nose buried in my hair. His hand is plastered around my waist, and I let out a satisfied sigh.
Last night was— perfect .
It was as if a volcano erupted, bursting out all the feelings that we’d kept tucked inside for way too long. It wasn’t just the best sex I’d ever had, not that I have a whole lot to compare, but it was a connection that was long overdue. When he drove me home, his hand linked with mine as if it had never been different, and I knew I didn’t want the night to end. There was a feeling creeping inside of me, wondering how long our bliss would stay, and I wanted to stretch the moment out for as long as possible.
His lips brush my neck as he murmurs against my skin, digging my head farther into my pillow to wallow in the feeling.
“Morning, babe.”
“Morning.” The fluttering in my stomach is almost unbearable. He tugs me closer against his chest as he leaves a trail of kisses moving from my shoulder to my neck.
“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do this?”
“Stop flirting with me.” I chuckle out of habit.
“I’m not. I mean it. I’ve been wanting to taste you since the first time I saw you. ”
I spin in his arms to face him, our noses touching as I press a kiss on his soft lips.
I would be a liar if I didn’t admit I felt the same.
We’d been doing our best to stay best friends for so long, denying the depth of our feelings, when really, we’d both been longing for more.
More touches.
More kisses.
Holy hell, definitely more kisses.
“I could get used to this,” he says, while I look into his mesmerizing eyes.
“Me too.”
My hand reaches up to run across the stubble on his chin, before I lean in once more, craving another kiss, as if I’m trying to make up for the time lost.
“What do we do now?” I whisper.
“What we always do.” He shrugs, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, making it sound so simple. “Just with lots of sex.”
I let out a laugh, rolling my eyes at his comment. “I’m serious, Hunt.”
An ominous feeling is waiting to take over, as if a thundercloud will destroy my perfect summer day. I want to find a gust of positivity, convincing myself it’s just my fear talking, but I can’t completely shake it either.
“So am I, babe. It’s still us. You’re still my best friend. Nothing has to change. Other than the fact that now I’m going to kiss you whenever the fuck I want.”
“Well, something has to change.” I furrow my brows, teasing.
“Yeah? What’s that?” He places a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth while his hand migrates down to my legs, getting awfully close to the area I want him to be.
“No more bimbos.”
He throws his head back in laughter .
“Why would I want another girl if I got you, Charls?” His hand strokes my cheek. “I haven’t been with anyone else in six months.”
“Really?” I guess Julie was right. I can’t deny my heart jumps like a jackhammer with excitement.
“It wasn’t as important as spending time with you.” My throat swells up. “No more bimbos, Charls.”
“You swear?” Emotion is swirling in my eyes, but I put in my best effort to hold it back from falling over my lashes.
“I swear.” He leans in, licking the seam of my lips, demanding me to open up, and I let out a deep groan in agony. He was gentle and soft with me when we got home, doing our best to keep quiet for my mama, even though I knew she was knocked out from her latest treatment, but I’m not sure if she’s still sleeping, and I don’t want to get caught with Hunter between my legs.
Though I’m ready to arch my back, asking him for more when his hands brush the inside of my thighs.
“Not here.” I huff, frustrating myself.
“You wanna get breakfast, or wanna be breakfast?” That same boyish grin appears on his face that awakens my already addicted pussy, and I playfully slap his chest.
“Hunt. My mom is home,” I hiss.
“So?”
“I’m not sure if I’m ready for that.”
“What? You mean, telling her we had sex?”
I nod my head while giving him a pleading look. He huffs in amusement.
“Babe, she already knows. I ran into her when I went to the bathroom.”
My brows raise in shock.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Nah,” he deadpans as I look at him incredulously.
“What did she say? ”
“You want her literal words?” His arms tug me closer against his chest, peering at me while the corner of his mouth lifts a little.
“Yeah.”
“She said, and I quote: ‘Took you long enough, Hunter.’ And then she went back to bed.”
“And then she went back to bed?” I repeat.
An amused feeling enters my body when I think of my mom’s reaction, knowing once again that I have the best mama in the world. I didn’t expect her to be against it, but I expected her to tell me to be careful and not risk our friendship. You know, just give me some kind of warning, like any other mother would do. But the fact that she called Hunter out like that tells me I can’t keep secrets from that woman, no matter what state she’s in.
“Mmhmm,” he muses, pressing another kiss on my lips.
Now knowing Mama knows Hunter is here, I feel no restraint as I cup his head, softly darting out my tongue against his mouth, making him groan against my lips.
He softly nibbles my lip, then he moves to my ear, his lips brushing my cheek in a scorching way.
“If you don’t want me to fuck you with your mama drinking her morning coffee downstairs, you better stop right now, Charls. Because there’s no holding me back if we cross that line. I’ve been holding back for too long.” His voice is husky, and needy, filled with a promise that makes it impossible for me to say no.
“I want you to fuck me.” Without wasting another second, he crashes his mouth against mine, and I wrap my leg around his waist. Pressing my center against his morning wood, I let out a whimpering moan.
His hands grab my hips, as he digs his fingers into my flesh in a way that makes me want more, thinking about all the ways I would let him dominate me. All the ways I want him to destroy me. He rolls me onto my back as he climbs on top of me, his lips devouring my neck while the longing grows between my legs.
I want to pull his head back, to press my mouth against his, when the deafening sound of his phone snaps us out of the moment.
“Nooo,” I screech as I throw my head against the pillow. He lets out a growl, landing his forehead against my neck, his teeth softly scratching my skin in frustration. I close my eyes at the burning feeling when he ends it with a kiss and gets off of me, rolling himself to the other side of the bed.
I look up to the ceiling, unsatisfied, praying this won’t take long.
“Yeah,” he rumbles into the phone, resting his back against the headboard, then reaching out his arm to tug me toward him. “Yeah, this is Hunter.”
I roll on my side, placing myself against him, while he wraps his arm around my back and starts to stroke my skin. I close my eyes for a second, enjoying the relaxed feeling of the steady moves of his fingers going over my body, a shiver running down my spine.
“Are you serious?” There’s excitement in his voice.
I snap my head up to him, examining his features. There is a stern look on his face, while his eyes are beaming, until the corners of his lip raise in a big smile.
“Yeah, yeah. Sure. When? Yeah, of course. Alright. Thank you. Yes. Okay. Bye.”
Annoyed by only half the conversation, I give him a confused look.
“What was that?”
“That was someone from the AFA.”
Realizing what he’s saying, I move up so I can see his face some more, cocking my head.
“Okay,” I drag out.
A mixed feeling enters my body while I keep staring at him in anticipation. I want him to get every chance to have a better life, but I can’t help seeing that thundercloud moving above our heads, thinking that same chance might actually take him away from me.
“They want to sign me.” My heart falls as the words fly from his mouth, while I raise the corner of my mouth to give him a smile. I do my best to put on a cheerful face, even though it feels like someone just jabbed a knife in my gut. Killing me slowly as I’m bleeding on the inside.
I launch myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“That’s amazing! Congratulations!”
His arms circle my waist in a tight grip as he digs his face into my hair.
“This is what we’ve been waiting for!” I lean back to find his gleaming eyes.
“I know!” I agree, even though I have no clue what this means. “You deserve it!”
“They need me to come to LA next week, to get the papers sorted and stuff.”
He’s leaving. For the last few months, I knew this point was coming someday, knowing his talent would take him places. But he didn’t have any plans after graduation, and I was going to community college to be close with my mom, so I figured we’d still have time. But now… right at the point when we’re finally owning up to our feelings, they are taking him away from me.
I swallow hard, shifting a little on the bed, and he notices my distress, even though I still have a smile on my face.
“Hey, what’s wrong, babe?” He cups my cheek, his eyes narrowing.
“Nothing,” I lie, shaking my head. Whatever feelings I’m having right now, it’s not fair to voice them to him, knowing it will make him doubtful about leaving. “I’m happy for you! ”
But he sees right through my lies, a thoughtful expression coming my way as he lowers his head to lock our gazes. “I’ll be back, Charls. It’s just for a few days to sort the papers, and then I’ll be back for the summer. There are no fights until August.”
I nod, doing my best to push away my gloomy mood. “I know! It will be great. You’re going to kill it.” I press a kiss on his lips in hopes of burying my feelings, yet he doesn’t fall for it.
“Look at me.” He breaks our kiss, then grabs my hips, lifting me onto his lap to straddle him. “Come with me.”
The look he’s giving me reminds me of that day at the creek. A lost boy, praying life will get better one day. His eyes are begging me, and I really want to say yes. There is nothing I want more right now than to start a new life with Hunter by my side. Exploring the world together. My heart is expanding at the knowledge that he wants me to be part of his future. Of this new adventure he’s going to start.
But I know I can’t. I know this isn’t my adventure to go on.
My life has been on hold since I was eight, and I don’t mind.
I can’t be selfish. Not while Mama is doing her best to stay alive.
She gave me life, now I have to help her keep hers.
I softly shake my head, my eyes welling up.
“My mama, Hunter. I can’t,” I explain, making his face fall. “If it was just me, I would. I would go anywhere you want me to, but it’s not just me. It’s been me and her for so long. I can’t give up on her.”
He lets out a troubled breath, pressing his forehead against mine. The air between us grows thick, making it hard to breathe as we hold still for a moment. Something about this moment feels final. It feels like goodbye, but I’m too scared to speak about my fears.
“I know,” he muses. “You don’t have to explain. You’re an amazing person, Charlotte Roux. ”
“You’re going to kill it in LA,” I whisper against his lips.
He tucks my head against his chest, wrapping me in a tight hug, as if he’s holding on for dear life. I know I am.
“We will make it work, babe. I promise.” His lips brush my hair, and he gives me a kiss on the top of my head.
“I know we will.” I push the words out with confidence, even though it feels like a lie. We can’t make these promises, because neither of us really knows if we can keep them. But I still treat it as my buoy in the middle of the ocean.
My heart is weeping, holding on to a little rope of hope, praying that he’s right. That we will make it work, no matter what happens.