72. HUNTER
72
S he shakes her head in confusion. “She never told me.”
“She wrote it the last time she found a lump. I guess when she thought she wasn’t going to make it.”
“What did it say?” She presses her lips together, the anticipation washing her face.
“The short version? That I should stop convincing myself that I didn’t deserve you.”
Another tear escapes the corner of her eye as she tries to muffle a sob, and my hands itch to cup her face to kiss it away.
I swallow hard, telling myself this might be my only shot.
“Your mama called me out that night on my eighteenth birthday. Telling me I was full of shit.”
“Hunter.” Despair etches her voice, and I keep my mouth shut. “I can’t do this. Not again. Not when I’m barely recovered from the last time. You didn’t want me.”
“That’s not true, Charls. I’ve always wanted you.”
“Yet, you got engaged to someone else!” Her greens are laced with nothing more than sheer hate and disappointment. “Pretending you were in love with her!”
“That meant nothing.” I shake my head.
“No! That meant everything. You gave her what I’d been begging you for!” she bellows firmly. “I don’t want to hear it anymore, Hunter.” She gets up, anger on her face. “This is what you do! You walk into my life whenever you want, and you walk right out when you want to. I can’t handle it anymore! I don’t want to handle it anymore. I meant what I said to Ben. But the same goes for you. I need time. I need space .”
She pushes the last word out with a growl before she walks past me to leave.
“Don’t go.” I grab her arm, bringing my face closer to hers. “Talk to me. You have to talk to me.”
“I wanted to talk to you eleven months ago, but you didn’t have anything to say,” she spits, her eyes shooting daggers, and I can actually feel them pierce through my heart one by one.
I want to tell her that I was stupid. That I was an asshole, too afraid to admit what I’ve been wanting to admit for so long. But before I can reply, she opens her mouth again while a breeze blows a few strands of her hair in front of her face. “I wanted to talk to you the summer after graduation, but you didn’t have anything to say, Hunt .”
I clench my jaw, frustrated when she’s slipping away.
“I have something to say now. ”
She pulls her arm free, giving me a push with an ominous glare.
“And now I don’t want to hear it!”
“Charlotte!” I shout when she walks aways from me again.
“No!” She spins, pointing a finger at my chest. “Ever since we became friends, my world has revolved around you. Around us. Right now? It’s about me! And I don’t want to hear it. I just fucking want to be left alone,” she growls, then starts marching through the gate.
I let out a feral roar, looking up at the sky, not knowing what to do. The sun warms my face in a soothing way, but inside it feels like I’m suffocating. That strong feeling of something dying inside of me I had when she left me on the sidewalk a year ago.
When I arrived back in Braedon, I felt confident, ready to do whatever it takes. Now, I’m seriously questioning if I should let her go. But the thought also makes my heart tighten in my chest. We have this unspoken connection I don’t think will ever disappear, but what if that’s all that’s left? What if she really just wants to be friends because I broke any other feelings she might’ve had?
Dragging a hand over my face, I look at the headstone, thinking back to the letter Liz sent me.
We both know you will never love anyone more than you love my daughter , she said. And I know it’s true. After Jason forced me to pull my head out of my ass, I was ready to go to war for her heart. Receiving Liz’s letter pushed out any doubt I felt. But standing here, alone, makes the uncertainty rush through my body all over again.
I pull out my phone, needing a tiny push to keep going.
HUNTER: She doesn’t want to talk to me.
I wait, staring at the screen, until those three dots appear.
JULIE: She’s hurt
HUNTER: Should I let her go?
JULIE: Hunter Hansen, you are not the insecure asshole you pretend to be. Stop asking me stupid questions.