Chapter 6
chapter six
nesto
All Dominican men think with their dicks.
I usually got pretty pissed off whenever I heard people say that, but holy shit, today I was repping on that particular stereotype like a champ.
Jude had me thirsting after him something fierce.
He’d only been in the bar for thirty minutes and I was already rock-hard, and trying to scope out a dark corner I could drag him into.
I tried to get my shit together, since we agreed I’d take him home, but with him leaning into me, pressing his hard cock right into my belly, I couldn’t seem to get my ass off the stool.
He was standing so close to me, our bodies were touching at various critical points.
His breaths were coming faster, and his skin had this flush, which was making all the blood in my body rush down to my nether regions.
I stood up, bent my head to tell him something and resisted the urge to run my tongue along his ear.
Instead, in a voice I knew sounded filthy I said, “Let’s go then. ”
I felt a shiver run down his body at my words, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bar. I turned around to wave at Marty, who was looking at us with a knowing expression. Once we were on the street, Jude stopped and smiled up at me. “Where to?”
I took a deep breath, because I was seriously tripping. For a moment I blanked and could barely remember where I was, much less where I’d left the car. I shook my head, trying to clear the sex fog taking over my brain.
“I’m on Buffalo and Cayuga, just a few minutes.”
He nodded and started walking. As we made our way down the street side by side, I felt so connected to him, like our bodies were in sync. I impulsively grabbed his hand and kissed it. He gazed up at me and shook his head as I released it.
“You’re a bit of a romantic, aren’t you?”
I shrugged. “Not usually. If anything, I’m a bit aloof. Maybe it’s Ithaca. Everything is so much slower here. Not so frantic. The idea of a leisurely walk is not so absurd.”
“The biggest place I’ve lived in is Rochester,” Jude said, as we walked.
“Which isn’t all that big compared to New York City.
I can’t imagine being a kid there. I grew up near Canandaigua, about sixty miles northwest from here.
It was pretty small.” Something passed over his face just then, like a shadow.
“The big city we went to for shopping only had like ten thousand people. Ithaca is practically a metropolis. I think that’s why I decided to buy a place in Trumansburg. It’s smaller. Feels more familiar.”
“I get that,” I answered. “It’s small enough you can get to know your neighbors, but you got everything you need.”
“Exactly.”
It seemed like we’d shifted gears from the intense flirting, which was all right with me. For a moment there I was feeling reckless.
This was good. Regular conversation was very good. I didn’t need to get naked within twenty minutes of buying a guy a drink like a fucking scumbag.
“I was born in Santo Domingo, which is the capital of the DR. It’s huge, almost three million people.
Then I moved to New York City when I was six and have been there ever since.
I’ve travelled all over, but I’ve never lived anywhere this small.
” I laughed. “Can I tell you a secret?” He nodded solemnly like he knew I was about to share something I wouldn’t easily admit to.
“It’s so quiet in my apartment I couldn’t fall asleep last night.
I had to put on some talk radio.” I covered my face with my hands.
“I actually put some right-wing nutjob on. The angry rambling helped me settle down.”
He clicked his tongue at my mortified expression. “Poor city boy, can’t deal with small town life. You’re going to be bored out of your mind within a week.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. So far things have been pretty interesting.” I squeezed his hand again. He squeezed mine back but kept walking in silence. I wondered if I’d said something wrong, but before I could ask, he started talking again.
“So where in Trumansburg is your apartment?”
“Right on Main Street. You know the old school laundromat? The one with the weird posters.”
He nodded. “Yes, I do, and they’re not just weird, they’re completely inappropriate. There’s one of a guy punching himself in the face because he forgot fabric softener.”
“Yeah, they’re pretty fucked-up. Anyways, I’m in one of the apartments upstairs.”
Jude turned his head to look at me. “We’re neighbors, then. I live just a block away. The little blue house next to the church.”
“Oh, I know exactly where that is.” I bent my head and whispered, “Hey, neighbor.”
He bumped my hip and said, “Welcome to the neighborhood, Nesto.”
We’d reached the spot where I parked, so I stopped and pointed to my Prius. “This is me.”
Jude made a move to go around to the passenger side when I pulled him to where I was standing.
I was leaning on the car door facing the dark sidewalk, and he stepped up to me, pressing his body to mine.
He looked up, and I bent my head so our lips were almost touching.
My heart was beating so hard, my head was throbbing.
It was like for the last hour all my body wanted was to get as close to Jude as possible.
“Jude, dame un beso.” The words came out like they were from somewhere deep inside of me.
He closed his eyes and pushed up so his lips where just centimeters from mine, and I bent my head to meet them.
Just as our lips grazed, a car drove by breaking the spell.
He gasped and turned his face, hiding his eyes from me.
I pulled his chin, and the look on his face was so fragile, like he was scared of what he’d almost done.
“Are you okay?”
He groaned and shook his head. His eyes tightly shut. “This was not part of the plan.” But even as he said it, I felt him press closer to me. It was like his body and his mind were waging a war on what to do about me. He wasn’t the only one in that dilemma.
“What wasn’t supposed to happen? Kissing me? We don’t have to.” I tried to lift his chin again, but instead he pushed his face into my chest.
After a moment he spoke, his words muffled, “I’m a mess.”
I took a chance and tightened my arms around him, unable to hold myself at a distance.
“You’re not. You’re great and running into you was the best part of my day.
” He raised his face to look at me. His eyes were brighter, and a tiny smile was lifting up the sides of his mouth.
I could feel his pulse racing as fast as mine.
This moment felt entirely too intense.
I spoke into the silent night, hoping to lighten the moment. “Besides I’m glad at least one of us has some sense. My mom lives like two blocks away. She would not be amused to find me necking in the street.”
He gave me a full smile then, and it was like the fucking sun. His voice sounded more like himself when he spoke. “I wouldn’t think so.”
I pressed our foreheads together for just a second then pushed off from the car and clicked the key fob to open the passenger side door for him. “Let’s get you home.”
I was getting uncomfortable with the long silence as I drove down the dark two-lane road leading to Trumansburg.
Second-guessing everything I’d done in the past twenty minutes and wondering if I’d pushed Jude too far.
When it was obvious he wasn’t going to initiate a conversation, I blurted out, “For the record, I don’t usually move this fast.”
Jude responded in an amused tone. “For the record, I don’t either…mostly.”
I laughed. “Okay, fair enough, I don’t usually move this fast.”
Even though I was sure we were both suffering from a bad case of blue balls and feeling a little awkward about the turn the night had taken, the mood did lighten after that.
“So was your first official day as a small business owner in Ithaca everything you hoped for?” Jude’s tone was neutral, but I could detect a hint of humor.
He was such a contradiction, at times so reserved, like he wanted to blend into the scenery, but he was funny. He had a fire in him, too; I’d seen it when he talked about his book truck.
I cleared my throat, trying to decide if I should match his tone, but instead I surprised myself by saying something I hadn’t shared with anyone.
“It was a good day, but I’m still stressed about whether I did the right thing by coming here.
In the city the competition is hard, but at least there I knew what I was up against.” I glanced over at Jude, and he was looking at me with concern, and I felt like a jackass.
Way to kill the fucking mood, Ernesto, because unloading on a guy you barely know would totally make him want to see you again.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to spill my feelings all over you.” I sighed again. “I guess I’m just tired.”
His eyes widened like he didn’t expect me to apologize. “No that’s fine, and I get it. It’s such a big change, and I can imagine it was a major decision. What made you finally want to do it?”
I glanced over at him, a little surprised at how interested he sounded. “Are you sure you want to hear about all this?”
He gave a sharp nod. “Yes.”
Jude’s interest in my business, my story, did something to me. “Well, I’d fantasized about the idea of owning my own business, making food I love, for years. But that was as far as it went. It took my mom finally reminding me of who I was.”
At the mention of my mom, Jude’s face lit up. He was so into me talking about my family. I couldn’t remember anyone being this curious about my roots. Most guys I dated would tune out as soon as I started talking about this stuff.
“One night, after I’d sat on her couch and talked for hours about how my job was killing my soul and whined about wishing I was making food for a living instead, she looked me in the eyes, and gave me her ‘se acabo’ face.
” He laughed at that and I winked at him, feeling warm all over.
“She told me, ‘Nesto you were the boy who held my hand and told me not to worry when we sat on that plane to come here, and I sobbed for the whole flight. The little kid who walked into the classroom on the first day without knowing a word of English, and told me, ‘You can go, Mamí, I can handle it from here.’ Baby, we’re immigrants, we don’t just take chances, we know what it’s like to leave everything behind and start over.
If this is your dream, then go make it happen. ’”
I heard Jude give a deep sigh like he understood exactly how important what Mamí had said to me had been.
“So, I went for it. I did culinary school on the weekends while working full-time and after I graduated, I quit my job and used a whole lot of my savings to open my truck.”
For a moment he hesitated as if he was looking for what to say in response.. “It’s really great how supportive your family is, Nesto. It must be nice to have them close by again.”
I kept my attention on the road, but the yearning in his voice made me wonder what he wasn’t saying.
I smiled thinking of my mom and how she’d gotten on my case about asking Jude out. “It’s not easy running a business on your own, having them to help out makes a huge difference.”
“I’m glad you have them.”
I wanted to ask about that longing in his voice but suspected it would shift the mood in another direction.
“I hope someday I can repay my mom for everything she’s done for me and my sister. My dad was a bum, he wasn’t really around by the time I was born, and Minerva’s dad,” I shook my head. “he was a nice guy but not exactly looking to be a family man.”
I pursed my lips, thinking on how hard it was sometimes to take on something that felt so big on my own, and how my mom had done it for so long.
I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to rely on someone other than family for help.
To have, as my mom told me this afternoon, someone to help carry my burdens with me.
“I’m sure she’s glad to help you.”
I jerked my head at the sound of his voice and muttered quietly into the space between us, “I know she is.”
We made small talk for the last few minutes of the drive and before I knew it, we were pulling up to his house. Jude lifted his hand pointing ahead. “That’s me.”
I stopped right in front of his driveway and turned my head to get a good look at it. It was so pretty from outside. It was a little colonial, painted navy blue with gray shutters. His garden was in full bloom with lots of tulips and daffodils.
Having lived in the city my whole life, I never envisioned living anywhere other than an apartment. But seeing Jude’s house, I got an image of myself walking up the pathway and opening the door to find him there waiting for me curled up on the sofa.
And that’s when I knew I needed to get my ass to bed, because this had to be some sort of exhaustion induced delusion.
I was already moving myself into the guy’s house, and we’d known each other for ten hours.
“I had a great time tonight. I feel like we have some unfinished business, but I don’t want to be too much of a thirsty motherfucker and invite myself in. ”
He laughed, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek. “You’ll get an invitation. Eventually. I had a nice time, too, Nesto. Thanks for the ride.”
With that he got out of the car and walked up to his door.
Cool, calm, and collected. Meanwhile I felt like a hot mess and was going home to jerk off until my hand went numb.
I sighed and rested my forehead on the steering wheel.
I had a feeling this would not be the last time Jude would leave me panting.