Chapter 13
chapter thirteen
jude
“You’re cut off. No more caffeine for you.” Carmen grabbed the coffee mug on my desk and walked away with it. It was only seven-twenty and I’d already had three cups, which was not a good move on my part. Too much coffee and I were not a good mix.
Carmen shook her head at me. “Hon, you totally got this. I’ve never seen someone prepare this much for a presentation. You got great feedback from the board when you sent them your proposal. I know it’s nerve-racking, but you’re going to do great.”
Rationally I knew she was right, but I was still nervous.
“I feel like if I screw this up, I won’t get another chance.
” I sat at my desk, trying to slow down my mind.
Above my head I heard Carmen sigh and walk quickly to close the door to our office.
She didn’t say a word, letting me work on calming down.
After a minute I opened my eyes and felt more relaxed.
Carmen was right. I was prepared. All I could do was go in there and do my best at making a case for my mobile library.
Just as I was about to gather my stuff to start walking to the conference room, my phone vibrated with an incoming text.
A message from Nesto popped up on the screen.
Good luck in your meeting. You got this!
I sighed and smiled as I quickly texted back a thank you then I stood up, feeling a thousand times better.
Carmen laughed as she walked with me. “So I get up at the crack of dawn to go get you the good coffee and a sandwich, and you’re still a mess, but one text from Nesto is all you need to get your head in the game,” she scoffed. “Malagradecido.”
I laughed as we walked into the conference room. “How am I ungrateful? I said thank you like ten times!”
“Just saying, my sandwich didn’t get you smiling like that.”
“Duh. Here, help me put out these packets with the handouts in front of everyone’s chair. I’ll set up the PowerPoint. People are going to start to come in any minute now.”
“Fine, but I’m going to have to talk to Nesto about this.”
I rolled my eyes at her and pointed to the table indicating she needed to get to work. We got everything arranged and were sitting down as the first board members and Martha walked in with Misty not too far behind.
As soon as Martha saw me, a big smile appeared on her face. “Jude, I’m so excited for this presentation.”
I stood up to say hello and smiled at her gratefully. “Thanks, I hope the board likes it.”
She shook her head at me, her long silver locs bouncing around her head as she did. “I don’t think this board has ever met with anyone as well prepared as you are. Stop worrying,” she teased as Tom White came up to us. Martha turned to him as he joined us. “Tom, have you met Jude?”
“Yes, I have,” he said, extending his hand.
“It’s good to see you again, I’m looking forward to hearing from you today.
I’ve been pretty vocal about my apprehension on taking on any new projects this year, but I’m curious about your book truck idea.
My mother was a librarian in the town I grew up for more than forty years.
When I told her about this project, she made me promise to keep an open mind. ”
“Thank you, sir,” I said distractedly, as I caught Misty glaring in our direction from the other side of the room.
Jesus. What was her problem?
Martha looked at her watch and turned to address the rest of us.
“Good morning, everyone, thanks for being here this early. I hope you all availed yourself of the lifesaving coffee and bagels,” she said, getting few laughs.
“We have a few things to address today, but the first order of business will be to hear from Jude Fuller.” She beamed, extending a hand in my direction.
“As you all know, Jude joined our library three years ago as the youth services director. Since he took over the position he’s grown our program exponentially.
Last year we had over twenty thousand books for children and youth checked out of the library, and over five thousand children came in to participate in the programs and activities we offer.
We also began our ESL classes for parents, as well as a homework assistance program for lower income children. ”
She looked at me with a smile and shook her head. “But of course that is not enough work for Jude.” This got a few more laughs around the room. “He has a bigger project in mind which he’ll talk to us about today. So, I’ll give him the floor.”
I stood up quickly and moved to the front of the room with my heart feeling like it was going to burst out of my chest. I quickly fired up the projector, scanning the crowd, which with the exception of Misty and a couple others, seemed interested in what I had to say.
I hoped my nerves weren’t too obvious as I looked down at my chambray shirt and pressed chinos, suddenly nervous about being underdressed.
I cleared my throat, took two deep breaths and launched into my presentation.
“Good morning, thanks for being here so early. Today, I want to talk to you a bit about the youth in the rural areas of our county, and how more access to our library services could impact their lives. If you could please open your packets and go to page three…”
The whole thing was over in fifteen minutes.
“Any questions or comments?” I asked as I looked around the table. There were eight board members present and about five library staff, including myself. Most of the room looked engaged, and there were more than a few smiles.
Tom White leaned forward, his face serious. My pulse raced as he opened his mouth and all I could think was, “please don’t destroy my dream.”
“Thanks for the presentation, Jude. I appreciate you taking the time to give us some examples of how projects like this have worked in counties similar to ours.” He looked around the room as he spoke, “I’m the first to admit I haven’t been very receptive to using funds for new programs next year, but Jude made some really great points in his presentation, and I think we need to reconsider.
” I sagged with relief and when I turned to Martha, she gave me a very discreet thumbs-up, as Tom continued talking.
“I think this project would be of great service to the more isolated parts of the county. I make a personal commitment to explore funding possibilities through Cayuga Trust.”
“Thank you, Tom,” I said, my voice cracking a bit with emotion.
He smiled at what probably was a very grateful expression on my face and continued, “Given the current state of the world, I think it’s more important than ever to make sure our young people have access to books and information that open their eyes to our larger world.
” There were several nods and words of agreement at that.
Another board member who I knew was one of Misty’s cronies spoke next, and I prepared for what I knew would be a very different take on my presentation.
“This is all very nice, but it seems to me like it’s a lot of effort and money, just so people can get books delivered. I mean this is why kids these days are the way they are; everything gets handed to them.”
I smiled and tried not to get defensive. I had prepared for this kind of response and knew what I needed to say.
I tried to maintain a placid tone while I spoke.
“Thank you for your comments, Miss Winters. I think the best way for me to respond to that is by sharing a story.” I looked around the table, trying to make eye contact with the more friendly faces, before I shared something I never talked about with strangers.
“I grew up not so far from here, in Canandaigua, and the public library for me, like for many of the kids in our community was a lifeline. For a kid growing up in a very conservative family, in an isolated little town in Upstate New York, realizing I was gay was terrifying, but I had the library.”
I tried to keep my body relaxed as I spoke, opening up was not something that came easily for me, but I would do whatever I needed to do to get my project approved.
“I found stories of young people like me, books which told me being gay was normal and it didn’t mean eternal damnation.
Even if I could not safely talk with anyone about what was happening with me, reading about it made a huge difference.
But it was not only myself I learned about.
I read about the civil rights movement and Stonewall.
I read about immigrants and what their work did to build our country.
I learned to love myself and understand the place I lived in, in large part thanks to my local library. ”
From the corner of my eye, I could see Martha nodding in agreement with my words, giving me the push I needed to finish saying what I wanted to say.
“So I agree with you that we should challenge our young people to be more proactive in working toward the things they want, but I also believe if there’s a kid out there isolated and hungry to read, then it’s our job to put a book in their hands.”
I glanced over to the woman who had asked the question and saw she was looking at me with contrition.
I was about to go sit down when a few of the board members nodded and started applauding.
Martha and Carmen joined them with big grins on their faces.
“Well, thanks again for giving me the opportunity to talk about the mobile library today, and if you have any questions please email or call me. I’m sure you know by now, this project is something I love to talk about. ”
Before I could make my escape, Misty started talking.
“This was a nice suggestion on how to spend our resources over the next year, but as the grant writer and manager, I would like to remind all of you how limited funding will be. I think the project to renovate the old conference room into a space we can rent for events as a source of income takes priority over anything else. No matter how much of a feel-good story it is.” She looked around the room then, her face getting angry when no one seemed to agree with her comment.