Chapter 15
chapter fifteen
One month later
camilo
“What do you get to bribe a four-year-old so you can get full-time access to her daddy’s privates?” I asked Ayako, who was walking into my office with our daily mid-afternoon caffeine fix.
She laughed as she passed me my coffee. “Wow, you’re all the way in on this one, huh? Doing the dirty to a pre-schooler to get at her dad. Damn, Camilo.”
I rolled my eyes as I blew on the piping cup of coffee.
“Okay I admit it’s shameless, but I’m nervous and I really want her to like me!
The time I met her she was wearing a ‘The Future is Female’ t-shirt and unicorn leggings, Ayako.
This kid does not fuck around. I don’t want to lose access to Tom’s dick because I mess up with her. ”
I was shrieking a little, but this was an emergency. Tom and I had been solid for over a month. After that first time at his house, things had gone pretty smoothly. He had Libe a lot, but whenever he wasn’t with her, we’d been together.
When Libe was at Maxwell’s house for the weekend, I essentially moved into his house from the end of the day on Friday until I had to go over to my mom’s on Sunday.
We’d had a couple of weekends like that so far, and they’d been amazing.
Seriously like toe curling, “how is this even my life” incredible.
We’d cook, go to the farmer’s market, or go to Priya and Sanjay’s for a drink. But mostly it was just the two of us.
I’d never had a connection with anyone like the one I had with Tom.
It wasn’t even the sex or the chemistry, which was pretty intense in its own right.
Or how easy it was to be with him. What made it all feel so monumental was the reciprocity.
I never felt like I wasn’t getting as much as I put in with Tom.
It wasn’t even tit for tat or that I was keeping track.
I just felt balanced. Like he wanted exactly what I gave, and I got as much as I needed.
Attention, time, sex, space. Everything just right.
I felt Ayako tapping the side of my coffee mug with her sharp fingernails bringing me back from my Tom musings. When I turned, she was looking at me with concern.
“Whatever’s going on in your head, stop it. Things are going well with you guys. Why are you so worried about this?”
“That’s exactly why I’m nervous. Meeting his daughter means change.
Our relationship is going to expand, and I’m not sure I want to give up the fairy-tale weekends yet.
There is so much that could go wrong if we take things further than this.
” I lowered my voice and looked at my open office door.
“You know I’m walking a very thin line here. ”
Ayako twisted her mouth to the side as if she was trying to figure out how to say something to interrupt my mental hand-wringing. “Camilo, look at me.”
I reluctantly met her gaze.
“So far, you’ve managed to keep the renovation project and the thing with Tom completely separate. I don’t see why that has to change; why are you inviting trouble?”
Because I was scared that taking things further with Tom would bring it all tumbling down. That if I kept things a bit more casual, then I could hold on for longer. But I also wanted to feel like we were solid parts of each other’s lives, and the biggest thing in his was Libertad.
Meeting her also meant the next step was introducing Tom to my mom.
My mother, like Ayako always said, was sacred ground for me.
None of the guys I’d dated had ever had patience for my taking off on Sundays to go see her, or that I would drop everything if she ever needed me.
So far Tom had been nothing but understanding, but I didn’t know if he still would if my mom hit a rough spot and demanded all my attention.
“I’m just a little anxious. Things are moving so fast.”
Ayako was about to protest, but I held a hand up acknowledging that wasn’t completely accurate.
“I shouldn’t say that. Because it’s not true.
I want to meet Libe. I’m just worried. I mean, do I need to introduce him to my mom?
Because she’s not in the best place right now.
I’ve told him about it a little, but I don’t know how much I want to go down that road just yet. ”
Ayako’s face softened, finally understanding where my worry was coming from.
“Camilo, you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do.
Go and meet Libe, bring her a My Little Pony plushie or a book or something.
You’ll be fine. Hell, I’ve seen you talk down kids who were practically feral; you can handle a well-adjusted four-year-old.
” She sighed then squeezed my shoulder. “As for Dinorah, take your time, babe. If she’s not at her best right now, you don’t need to rush it.
If Tom asked you to meet Libe, and you’re okay with that, then meet the kid.
That doesn’t mean you need to bring your mom into the picture. ”
“Okay.” I exhaled and she smiled, knowing she was probably wearing me down.
“Although I have a feeling her hearing about how well things are going with Tom would make her happy. Is she really that bad?”
I shook my head. “It’s not a crisis, but you know how it is. I can tell she’s starting to go into herself more and more. She doesn’t want to go out as much, she’s been going from work to home for months, and she’s been really inconsistent with her support group.” Ayako grimaced at that.
“Odette can barely get her to come over, and I’m not sure she’s been taking her meds regularly.
” I ran my hand over my eyes, feeling the worry weighing down on me.
“I don’t want to push her too much, but it scares me when she gets like this.
” I sighed, forcing myself to be more positive.
“Thankfully she’s going to the Poconos with Odette this weekend and the plan is for her to go again for Thanksgiving.
I have been keeping her up to date about Tom, but I also don’t want to get her hopes up too much.
Because if things don’t work out, she’ll end up more devastated than me.
I don’t need to give her more reasons for her anxiety to spiral. ”
Ayako nodded in understanding. “You’re a good son, and you worry too much.
” She gave me a rueful smile. “But I’m glad to hear she’s going on the annual Thanksgiving trip.
That’ll be good for her. Speaking of which, I know it’s still a couple of weeks away but are we still on for Chinese and TV show binging? ”
I nodded at that, grateful to go in a less stressful direction with the conversation.
“Absolutely.” I held up my hand for a high-five.
“On-call buddies.” Ayako and I signed up to be on-call supervisors for the New Beginning hotline almost every Thanksgiving.
We got paid extra, and since we didn’t really do big family celebrations, it was nice to let the other supervisors who did, have the weekend off.
“We’re good. You still staying at my place?” Astoria wasn’t super far, but when she was on call, she sometimes crashed at my place. Since I was only a couple of subway stops away from the shelter.
She nodded. “Yeah, I might go home Friday night though. My brother’s coming down from Boston on Saturday.”
“Okay, I think Tom won’t have Libe, so I can always stay at his place.”
“Niiiiice.” She waggled her eyebrows at me and we both laughed.
I sighed, feeling better about the meeting with Libe. “Thanks for talking me off the ledge, again,” I said rolling my eyes. “I’m going to go with your advice and get the kid a My Little Pony toy of some kind and hope for the best.”
“You can’t go wrong with MLP. Not that I’m worried; she’s going to love you.”
I hoped she was right.
Who knew a person could see animals dancing hip-hop in the middle of Central Park?
I’d lived in New York City since I was thirteen years old, unaware this had been going on all along. And yet here I was, less than two months after meeting Tom, at the Central Park Zoo, looking at what seemed to be sea lions busting out moves for fish.
I was making my way through the crowds out on this sunny November day to meet Libertad and Tom.
I’d been so nervous about meeting Libe, I’d texted Tom like ten times asking questions the night before.
He thought my nervousness was adorable and was no help at all.
His big piece of advice had been to be prepared to get a million questions, and to be bossed around the entire time.
I could certainly handle a bossy four-year-old, but I was still dying from nerves.
The zoo was sort of tucked away in the park, covered by trees and canopies.
Despite that, it was packed with people.
I spotted Libe before I saw Tom. They were standing by one of the columns surrounding the sea lion pool.
He had her perched on his shoulders so she could see the show.
They were close enough to have a clear view, but not so close they’d block anyone else’s.
I hurried towards them clutching the stuffed animal I’d gotten her in a small shopping bag.
When Tom saw me walking in their direction, his face immediately lit up, and he pointed toward me to let Libe know I was there.
I walked up, unsure on how to greet him, but he quickly put the question to rest when he pulled me in for a quick but very firm kiss on the lips.
The entire situation was unnerving and felt so very grown-up.
Just as I was about to panic, not sure what to do with myself, my social worker training kicked in.
I reminded myself that as far as difficult first meetings went, this one was nowhere near the scariest one I’d experienced.
I could do this. I looked up to where Libe was perched on Tom’s shoulders, got the pony out of the bag, and showed it to her.
“I found this lost pony on the way here. I was hoping you could take her home with you, Libe.”
She squealed and reached out for it as Tom put her back on the ground.