Chapter 6
HUDSON
Don’t think of the cold. It wasn’t cold.
I was on a warm beach completely comfortable.
The cold misery wasn’t real. I closed my eyes as another spray of water washed over me and threatened to knock me into the sand.
Me and the rest of the guys I was linked with.
This was the easy part. This was just the beginning of my SEAL training.
If I couldn’t survive this, I had no business trying to make it.
One of the instructors stood directly behind us and shouted. “Keep your head up!”
We’d been up all night. Exhaustion and cold threatened to pull me under. I couldn’t succumb to the desire to close my eyes and sleep.
“Kick! I said kick!”
We all kicked our legs while lying on our backs with our heads barely above the water. It was just after four in the morning. The sun was just breaking over the horizon and what should have been a beautiful sight was hell. This was torture.
We’d just started our fourth round of the eight-minute intervals.
My stomach muscles felt like they were going to snap.
It was a struggle to keep my head out of the water, but if I gave into the pain, I was going down.
If I went down, the guys next to me went down.
It was a chain reaction. I had to fight because it wasn’t just me on the line. It was my team.
“Up, up, up!”
We all scrambled to get to our feet. Our clothes were soaked. Our boots felt like they were made of lead as we raced across the beach and were ordered to drop in the sand. The misery was real, but just like we had been told a million times, it was a state of mind. We could rise above.
I jerked awake the moment my body hit the cold water again in the recurring dream.
My heart was racing, and I was shivering.
I grabbed the blanket and pulled it over my nearly naked body.
It took a moment to get my bearings. I wasn’t in the cold sea.
I wasn’t covered in sand. This was home.
This was my own bed. As much as one could call an air mattress a bed.
I shook off the remnants of the dream. It wasn’t a nightmare.
It was just one of those dreams that I had once a week or so.
Those were the early days of training. I understood why we were put through those grueling exercises.
Our early training days were nothing compared to what we went through after training.
I quickly pushed down the thoughts that threatened to come to the surface.
I was not going to go dark. I couldn’t. Keeping those memories repressed was the best thing to do.
Once my heartrate slowed and I could think straight, I raised my arm to check the tactical watch I still wore. I couldn’t quite give it up. It had been my tool for too long. “Fuck.”
I was supposed to be meeting Hux at his business this morning.
On the long bus ride across the country from California to Maine, I’d had a lot of time to think.
I could have flown and saved myself a lot of time and frustration, but I wasn’t necessarily in a hurry to get home.
I wanted to slow roll my return to civilian life.
The long trip gave me hours upon hours to sleep and think.
I had put on a pair of headphones and made sure I looked just grumpy enough for people to avoid.
Only on one leg of my trip did I have someone sitting in the seat next to mine.
I had spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to do when I got home.
The one thing I knew I wanted to do was to help guys like me.
Guys that had gotten out of the service and found themselves drifting.
So many guys I served with ended up divorced while they were away from home.
The few I kept in touch with after they retired had told me how hard it was to find a new groove.
Unfortunately, a lot of them weren’t ready.
The PTSD kicked their ass and they ended up making some pretty bad choices.
The drinking and drugs left them jobless and homeless.
My goal was to try and help. When I heard Hux was in a bit of a bind with his business, it was the perfect idea.
We could help some guys out and grow his business.
I rolled off the bed, did a quick ten pushups to get my blood pumping, and headed for the shower.
It was a quick run through the water before I pulled on a pair of cargo shorts and another tee.
I was going to have to actually buy some clothes soon.
For so long I’d been wearing fatigues and my uniform.
It didn’t make a lot of sense to have a big wardrobe.
I didn’t bother shaving. No need for that anymore.
I didn’t have any wheels yet, which meant I was going to be on foot for now. I started on my way and stopped to grab a coffee from one of the new shops in town. I didn’t give a shit about the foam or any of the other stuff. I just needed coffee.
When I arrived at the boat shop, it was empty. I checked the time again to make sure I had the right time. Hux stumbled out of a door in the back. “Shit,” I said. “You look worse than I thought you would.”
“I can’t,” he groaned. “Not you too.”
He walked to the coffee setup against the wall. He refilled a cup and took a long drink.
“Are you okay?” I asked him. “Maybe you should try and sleep it off.”
“I’m fine,” he said. “I just need more coffee.”
“I think you need a lot more than that.”
He looked me up and down. “You’re not looking much better.”
I looked down at the wrinkled shirt and shorts. “Whatever.”
“Thanks for getting me home last night,” he said. “Nat said it was rough.”
“It wasn’t easy,” I said.
“Were you serious about joining forces?” Hux asked. “I wasn’t even sure I was remembering it correctly. I don’t think I was that drunk when we talked about it.”
“You weren’t drunk, and yes, I want to do it,” I said. “I have the number to a guy I worked with a couple years back. He runs a support group in this area. I’m going to reach out to him and see what I can do to get this ball rolling.”
“Do you have any idea who you’re bringing on?”
“Nope, but I will,” I said.
Natalie walked in from the back. She was wearing another pair of jeans with wide cuffs and boat shoes along with another one of those polo shirts she’d been wearing yesterday. Huxley wore a matching outfit. That was when I realized this was their uniform of sorts.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Good morning,” she replied. “Did you sleep well?”
“Why?” I asked defensively.
She blinked. “I don’t know. I don’t actually care.
It’s just something people say. It was the first night in your new place.
Never mind. Hux tells me you two decided to go into business together.
I would like to know who you’re bringing in.
I work late a lot and I don’t want to be watching over my shoulder all the time. ”
I quirked my lips. “Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
“I could say the same.”
“I am going to work out the details,” I told her. “I’m not talking about hiring people that have violent charges in their past.”
“And what would that constitute in your opinion?” she asked.
She folded her arms across her chest, which lifted her breasts.
Of course, that was where my eyes went. Then I remembered this was my brother’s girl.
Or was his girl. I didn’t know the details, but I wasn’t trampling on his territory.
I lifted my gaze and stared her right in those beautiful hazel eyes that were narrowed at me.
“Violent,” I said, shrugging. “Guns. Burglary. Rape. Assault.”
She flinched and looked to Hux, who was still way too hungover to say much of anything. “Drugs?” she asked.
“I guess that will depend,” I replied. “Not all drug charges are the same. People can change. They can recover. Do you think people that have been busted doing drugs should never have gainful employment again?”
Hux laughed and gently pushed Natalie. “He’s got you there,” he said with a laugh. “Quit being such a prude. It’ll be fine. No one is going to violate your body.”
“If they do, I’m going to violate yours with a very large stick,” Natalie snapped before turning on her heel and walking away. The slamming of her office door left Hux cringing and grabbing his head.
“So, what’s the deal with that?” I asked. “Is this going to be a problem?”
“No,” Hux said. “It’s fine. She’s cranky. She might not look hungover, but she is.”
“Maybe we should pull back,” I said. “I can look for another option. I wasn’t trying to start drama.”
“It’s cool,” he insisted. “What do you need from me?”
“Can I use your phone?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said. “Have a seat.”
I sat down behind the desk and pulled the paper from my pocket. It was nothing but a phone number. I hoped the guy answered. It had been close to a year since we had drinks at a bar somewhere in California. I wasn’t even sure if he would remember who I was.
“You are going to interview them, right?” Hux asked. “I mean, I trust you, but we do have a lot of stuff in the shop. We deal with the kind of people that are used to certain things in life. We should probably establish some ground rules.”
“I’m cool with that,” I said. “And of course, I will interview them. I think I’m a pretty good judge of character.
I can sniff out an addict. From what I understand, most of the guys, and a handful of women, are just down on their luck.
Not all of them are really fit to be in customer service.
You know what it’s like to get a job around here. ”
“Why don’t they go to Portland or somewhere with more jobs?” Huxley asked.
“Because they live here,” I replied. “One of them I heard was down on his luck is Trey Brown. Do you remember him? He was going to be a big football star. I think he was a year or two behind me in school. He went to college, messed up his knee, and got hooked on painkillers. Did a stint in jail after getting busted.”
“I haven’t seen that guy in a while,” Hux said. “I’m not sure he’s even around anymore. He was working at the docks.”
“He’s the kind of guy that I’m talking about,” I said. “Vets. Just anyone that needs a little help.”
“Cool,” he said. “I think it’s a good idea. I know she’ll be fine with it too.”
“How about this?” I said and leaned forward.
“I’m going to make some phone calls and try to find some of these guys.
The ones I think will work, I’ll bring in for a meeting.
We can have a little meet and greet. Natalie can meet them.
Once she realizes they are just like me or you or even her, she’ll feel better.
If she doesn’t like one or gets a weird feeling about someone, we’ll address it. ”
He nodded. “Works for me.”