Chapter 28
LAYLA
Ifinished my dinner and stood up, collecting my tray before I smiled at Mel and her friends. “Have a good night, guys. Thank you for inviting me to sit with you.”
Mel returned my smile. “Anytime. We all need to start sticking together more. I’ll see you back at the dorms.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll see you there. Only a bit later, though. I’m going for another run before bed.”
Lies. I’m sneaking out to the wall for more practice. I didn’t think they needed to know about that. All of Mel’s friends could make it over easily at this point and they were helping her during our breaks in the daytime. Nighttime, however, was all mine and I wanted to keep it that way.
She stared up at me. “You’re going for another run? Why? I’m beat.”
“Excess energy,” I explained. “If I don’t get it out now, I’ll only end up tossing and turning for hours.”
“Ah,” Phoenix said knowingly. “The midnight Am-I-good-enough plague. I suffer from that disease myself. If I’m not so exhausted that I’m out when my head hits the pillow, those doubts sink in and then I’m wide awake until three.”
I chuckled and made a finger gun, pretending to fire it as I nodded. “Good to know I’m not the only one.”
At least that part was true. While I’d lied about how I was going to get rid of the last bit of my energy, I absolutely suffered from that plague if I wasn’t dead on my feet by the time I hit my bunk. It was one of the reasons I worked that wall so hard every night that I could make it out there.
“You sneak away,” Mel said. “We’ll cover for you if anyone comes looking.”
I smiled. “Thank you. Have a good night.”
A chorus of good nights rang out and then I waved at them as I walked away. I wouldn’t say they were my friends just yet, but at least I had people to sit with during mealtimes. It felt good, even if the person I wanted to sit with was all the way at the other end of the mess hall.
During dinner, I’d felt Santiago’s eyes on me, but whenever I’d managed to risk a glance at him, he’d been laughing while he spoke to the other instructors.
They’d been locked in serious conversation just after they’d sat down, though, and while I knew it had nothing to do with me, I wondered what it had been about.
Santiago’s light brown hair shone gold under the lights in here, and as his head dropped back when he laughed, it looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. I sighed and tightened my grip on my tray before disposing of it.
Today had been harder than I’d thought it would be. I’d expected everything to feel the same way it used to once we got back to the Station, but it didn’t. It turned out that the longing for him from afar had gotten even more intense now that I knew him better.
All weekend, I’d been wishing that time would slow down and now I was wishing there was a way to turn it back. It seemed almost cruel that I’d accidentally found someone like him, and now that I had, we couldn’t be together. Our relationship was taboo in more ways than I cared to think about.
Not only did we have regulation after regulation standing in our way, but there was also my father to think about.
Santiago had been one of his cadets. Even if we could find a way around the regulations—which was impossible since there were no loopholes—my father would still never give us his blessing.
As I stepped out of the mess hall into the fresh night air, a flash of light over the bay caught my attention. I narrowed my eyes as I turned to face it, and when it came again, I realized it was lightning in the distance.
Another streak of light raced across the inky sky and I pursed my lips, disappointment racing through me before it was replaced with determination. If there was a storm coming, it meant I needed to buckle down before it hit.
After hurrying back to the dorms to change into my workout gear, I jogged through the quiet night to the obstacle course. Faint sounds of chatter from those who were only leaving the mess hall now reached my ears, but they were far enough away that I wasn’t afraid of being discovered.
Even so, I kept looking back over my shoulder at the glowing orange light of the mess hall on the other side of a sandy mound. My footfalls were soft as I approached the course, a light breeze licking my skin as the storm began turning toward land.
For just a moment, I paused to look out at the bay, the dark water and the bursts of light telling me that the storm was steadily getting closer.
The realization snapped me into motion, and I picked up my pace until I could see my nemesis—the eight-foot wall rising from the shadows of the night like a literal barrier between me and my dreams.
I bounced on the balls of my feet as I stared it down.
Then I sprang into action. The brick loomed larger and more imposing with every step I took, but I raced at it at full speed.
Santiago’s advice flickered in my mind, and as I pushed down before taking the leap, I was determined to use my whole body for this.
My fingers barely scraped the top of the brick before I was falling, dropping unceremoniously with my ass in the sand. Frustration warmed my belly and tightened my gut, my nails digging into my palms as my hands curled into fists at my sides.
I tried again, but tonight really didn’t seem to be my night. I’d thought I could at least grab the top of the wall relatively consistently by now, but it seemed my days of not hitting it every night had robbed me of the tiny bit of progress I’d made.
A scream lodged in my throat when I hit the sand again, and my fists pummeled into the ground as my breaths came in heaving pants. Stupid fucking wall! Who even put this thing here? If it was my dad, I’m never going to forgive him.
Okay, that was an exaggeration. I would forgive him, obviously, but still.
The damn obstacle had clearly been designed for taller, stronger people, and even though a bunch of women had managed to conquer it, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit like the wall was a physical manifestation of the challenges that faced women in the armed forces.
We could enlist. We could give it our all and eventually conquer every obstacle in our way, but it was just that little bit more difficult for us. Oh, great. I’ve progressed to the feminist rage part of my frustration. That’s exactly what I need right now.
As I got up, I shook my head at myself and took a deep breath. I could do this. I would do this. I just had to get back into the swing of things a little. I’d only taken the weekend off, but clearly, I had a bit of ground to make up.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, a big fat raindrop landed smack dab in the middle of my forehead as I ran at the wall again. It knocked my focus right off the tracks, and I looked up, which broke my speed, and I had to stop without even trying to grab the top.
This time, I couldn’t quite hold back the scream that tore out of me. I managed to choke the sound, but seriously? Seriously?
The night had grown even darker while I’d been working at defeating my nemesis and the thick black clouds were right above me, blocking out any sign of moon or stars. The rain was picking up, too, thunder growling over the water as it brought the storm ever closer.
I scrubbed my hands over my face before sending one last scowl at the sky. Then I let my head drop forward as I spun to head back to my bunk. “Are you really going to quit because of a bit of rain? It’s just some water. Nothing serious. Just the stuff you’re going to be making a living on.”
A squeak slid out of me at the unexpected sound of a voice nearby and my heart lurched into my throat. Eyes flying wide open, I whirled in the direction it had come from and pressed my hand to my chest when I realized that I knew that voice.
It was the voice I dreamed of. The voice I wanted nothing more than to hear moan my name as he thrust deep inside me. Just the thought made my panties as damp as the rest of me was getting, and I could only hope that my face didn’t betray me as my gaze met his.
Santiago was standing at the edge of the course, wearing a rain jacket and a smirk as he stepped closer to me. “Well, are you really giving up?”
I swallowed past my shock of realizing he was here and planted my hands on my hips. “Were you really just watching me from the dark like a creeper?”
“I figured you should be focusing on the wall and not on me.” He stopped walking when he was about two feet away, keeping a respectable distance between us while at the same time, making my nerve endings hum for having him in my proximity.
My torso suddenly felt kind of cold, like it was begging to have the weight and warmth of his arms around it, and my fingers ached to reach for his. “I was focused on the wall, but as you can see, Zeus is at work tonight.”
“Are you really going to let him or Mother Nature hold you back?” His head cocked. “I thought you were tougher than that. It’s not even pouring yet.”
“Slave driver,” I teased, but then I inhaled a deep breath and nodded. “You might be right, though. There should be time for a few more tries.”
Santiago came back to the wall with me and gave me a few more pointers. Then he stood back and watched at I pushed my body to its limit. There was something about having him here that renewed my determination and I used that fresh spark to the fullest extent, but it didn’t help.
My palm scraped against the slippery surface of the wall but even though I managed to get higher with Santiago watching than I had before, my hand just slipped right back off before I could grab on.
The rain was really bucketing down now, though, and a jarring shock traveled up my spine as my tailbone hit the ground.
Before I could try to get up, his hand appeared in front of me and he pulled me up.
I didn’t release his fingers for a long moment, stroking my thumb along his instead as I looked up into those blue eyes. “One more time.”
“You just fell pretty hard,” he said softly, tugging me just an inch closer before squeezing my hand and then releasing it. “You’ve got this. It’s just a wall. Don’t make it more than that.”
“I will get it,” I gritted out as I spun back to face it, my eyes narrowed against the onslaught of water from the heavens.
“You will get it, Layla, but not tonight.”
“You’re the one who just asked if I was going to let some rain stand in my way.”
“Yes, but that was a few minutes ago before we were facing a waterfall from above. Come on, let’s get you back to your bunk. You’ll get sick out here like this.”
I sighed, but as he backed away and motioned for me to follow him, I went. There was no way I was getting over that wall tonight, not with my vision impeded by the rain and the slippery surface where there should’ve been hard, dry brick.
As I followed after him, though, shivering and wrapping my arms around myself in an attempt to keep warm, I still felt like I’d failed. Because I should’ve been able to make it by now. Instead, I was further away than I had been just last week and time was running out.
I needed to make it over that wall and I definitely needed a hug, but since neither of those things were happening tonight, I sighed and promised myself that one day, I’d have both. Even the hug would always have to come from someone other than the man whose arms I really wanted to be in.