Chapter 39
LINCOLN
One of the things no one told me about being in love, not that I would have believed them if they’d tried, was how much of a lovesick idiot I would become.
Leaving Sofia had been the most difficult thing I’d ever done, and five months down the line, I still felt like someone had kicked me in the balls whenever I thought I had one more month to go without her.
As it turned out, being in command of a unit also wasn’t just all busy work. I was busier than I’d ever been, but I still found time to speak to her as often as possible.
Time had morphed into one giant, sand-colored loop. According to the calendar I’d taped up on the first day, there were only twenty-five more days to go. Although the last five months had been without a doubt the best of my career, they’d sucked for my heart.
A helicopter whirred past overhead, interrupting my thoughts and reminding me that I was supposed to be in the middle of a training exercise. Eden ambled up to me with a knowing grin on his lips. “Spaced out, huh?”
“Yeah,” I admitted, lifting my cap off my head to swipe beads of sweat off my forehead. As I put it back on, I glanced into my friend’s green eyes. “Was it that obvious?”
“To me, yes.” He inclined his head toward Dave and the rest of our unit. “I doubt any of the others noticed. They’re working on their strategy for the invasion they have to stage in ten minutes.”
I smirked. “Whatever strategy they come up with, we’ll be ready for them.”
“Provided you stop pining.” He winked and clasped my shoulder. “Don’t get me wrong. I know you’ve been good about keeping your head in the game, but you’re going to need your focus today. These boys might just surprise you. You’ve trained them well.”
“We’ll see about that. I think the simulation exercise will be good for them either way. We’ve gotten Dave to learn when to joke around and when not to, and even Turner has learned how to assert himself. Now we just have to see how we all function together.”
Eden nudged me in the shoulder with his. “We all function like a well-oiled machine together thanks to you, and you know it. I think you’re just running this simulation to keep everyone busy while you fantasize about your girlfriend.”
“Fuck off.” I punched him in the bicep, but I couldn’t totally deny it. I knew my unit functioned like one that had been together for years. It wasn’t being immodest to admit it. We’d gotten enough compliments for me to know it wasn’t just my ego talking.
Apparently, once I’d started putting my unit together, we’d been labeled as the Misfit Team. Since I was perfectly happy being the leader of the misfits, I hadn’t argued about it. Besides, we were an odd bunch to have together.
When Charles had told me to pick my men, though, I’d known who I wanted. Dave and Turner, my cellmate and driver from Washington, had both agreed to be transferred. Eden had joined us the same day that his doctors had cleared him.
The others were all guys I’d worked with before, and every one of them had been happy to join my team. Within five short—though also excruciatingly long—months, Team Misfit had earned a lot of respect from the Navy.
Even Charles had contacted me to tell me how proud he was of me. Actually, he’d contacted me a lot.
“Isn’t that your father-in-law to-be?” Eden asked, pointing at a silver-haired figure climbing out of a Jeep. “Sure looks like him.”
I narrowed my eyes, putting my hand to the end of my cap as a shield to squint into the sun. “What the fuck? I think you’re right.”
Sure enough about a minute later, the figure was close enough that I could make out Charles’ features. It was difficult to know for sure, since the man was grinning instead of frowning, but I was ninety-percent sure that Sofia’s father was walking up to us.
He trained his eyes on me, holding out a hand as he came to a stop when he reached us. “Surprised?”
“Sure.” I grasped his hand firmly but then got even more surprised when he yanked me closer to him and gripped me in a one-armed hug. “What are you doing here?”
He let out a gruff chuckle. “I thought I’d stop by and see how you were doing.”
“Are you ever going to really retire?” I asked, but the corners of my lips refused to play along with the mock seriousness of my tone. “Or have you taken up golfing in Iraq as a hobby?”
Charles shrugged, smoothing out the white button-down shirt he was wearing. “I’m not golfing, but maybe I’ll look into it for my next trip. I’m heading back home tonight.”
“Did you really come all the way here just to check on me?” My brows rose before I leaned to the side to peer around him. “Any chance you brought Sofia with you?”
“Nope,” he said, fixing me with a strangely gentle look before shrugging again. “I started a consulting firm. Navy men have a hard time retiring and just sitting at home.”
“I can see that.” I frowned when I realized he kept looking at me in that weird way. “What’s up, old man? You’re kind of freaking me out a little bit.”
“Nothing is up,” he said, but his hazel eyes focused on a spot behind my shoulder for a moment. When his gaze came back to mine, the softness was gone but so was the hostility I’d gotten so used to. Then again, I hadn’t seen it since the day he’d sent me to the brig.
Suddenly, he reached into his pocket. “I have a delivery for you. It’s from Sofia.”
He withdrew a sleek, light blue envelope from his pocket. My heart started pounding as I took it from him, blood rushing in my ears. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.”
“She really misses you,” he said, so quietly that I almost missed it with Humvees, helicopters, and people all around us.
I just managed to catch it, though, and my pounding heart stopped abruptly to skip a few beats.
“She wrote those to you so that you have one for every week you’ve got left here. ”
“That’s great.” I swallowed past a dry spot in my throat. “Thanks for bringing them, sir.”
Charles gave me a long look, then clapped a hand against my bicep and gripped it. “If you hurt my daughter, I’ll kill you. I don’t care if it’s legal or not.”
I knew it might not be a friendly threat, but it didn’t scare me. Nothing could, except for the possibility of losing her.
“I won’t hurt her, sir. I love her.” Keeping my eyes on his as I made the admission wasn’t easy, but I knew it needed to be done.
Charles and I had seen each other several times before I’d deployed and had spoken often, but I’d never said those words to him.
It was time for me to come clean to him.
“Once I get home, I’d like to take you for a drink some time. There’s a question I need to ask you.”
Something that looked very much like relief flashed in his eyes, but then he swiped it away. “I thought there might be. We’ll have that drink soon, son. For now, I need to be getting to the airstrip. I just came to see with my own eyes that you were okay and I had to deliver those letters.”
I nodded. “Thanks for coming by. I’ll see you soon.”
Five minutes later, Charles was gone and Eden and I were headed to rejoin the training exercise. The letters burned a hole in my pocket all day, but I had to wait until after dinner to read the first one.
Lying back on my bunk after a shower, I folded one arm behind my head and slid it out of the envelope.
A single light bulb that was on its last legs hung in the center of my tent, but it gave enough light to read by.
As I unfolded the sheets of paper, a whiff of bergamot and vanilla hit me.
I groaned at all the memories the scent brought rushing back.
I would never, ever admit it to anyone, but I might have brought the paper to my nostrils and breathed it in for a long minute or two. Only once neither my cock nor my heart could take it anymore did I lower the letter down again.
Seeing Sofia’s neat, loopy handwriting brought a smile to my face, but my throat tightened. God, I missed my girl so fucking much.
Dear Lincoln,
I hope Dad actually gives you these letters.
A part of me is convinced he’s going to chuck them in the ocean when he drives over the bridge to get to the airport.
Maybe he won’t, though. He seems to be coming around to the idea of us.
Not that he’s got much of a choice, but I’m glad he’s supporting us now. It will make things easier.
How are you holding up, love? I miss you so much more than words can say. Still counting down the days until you get home. By the time you get this, it will be less than thirty.
Five months down, one more to go.
I have such a big surprise for you when you get back, but I don’t want to ruin it by telling you here.
Suffice it to say, for now, that I love you and that I’m reminded of your love for me with each passing day.
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world, and I can’t wait for you to get back so we can start our lives together.
Luckily, class is keeping me pretty busy. Otherwise, I’m sure I’d have gone crazy by now. It’s been a lot of extra work, but my graduation date has been revised again.
I’m so proud of you for being wherever it is that you are, and I hope you’re proud of me, too. Can you believe we’re really doing this? That we’ve already gotten this far? Because I can’t.
Anyway, I’m going to stop writing now. If I don’t, I might not have enough left to say for the letters for the rest of the weeks. I really want you to have one love letter a week until you come home.
Stay safe, baby. I love you with all of my heart and soul. And also with every orgasm I have ;-)
Sofia.
P.S. I’ve got a middle-schoolish poem I thought you might enjoy.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Lincoln Dobbs, Sofia loves you.
What do you think? I might have it written in the sky on the day you get home.
By the time I’d reread the letter for the third time, the first tears I’d felt in more than a decade rested on my lower lashes. My throat was tight again, but swallowing didn’t make it go away.
Eventually, I curled up with her letter clutched to my chest and fell asleep in the fetal position. Thank God I had a tent to myself because I would never have lived that display down. The weirdest thing of all was that I wouldn’t have cared.
The girl who had my heart was thousands of miles away, and the gaping hole in my chest ached tonight. I missed her so much that it hurt to breathe.
But she was right.
Five months were down, and there was only one left to go.
Surely, I would survive that. When I got home, though, I was locking the two of us away somewhere for at least a month.
There was no one else I wanted to see, no one else I wanted to spend time with, and no one that would come between us and our time together.