Chapter 28
SAMANTHA
Icould feel my blood pressure rising. First, he pulled a move that had killed a man in recent years. Then he collected the phone number of a woman. What the hell was I doing? This man was not the man for me. I couldn’t deal with the baggage that came with him. He was never going to change.
“You swore you would be careful,” I said. “You promised you wouldn’t pull any more stunts. Do you know how dangerous that was? Do you not care?”
The man looked lost. “Sam, I need you to take a minute. I did nothing out of the ordinary. Yes, I pulled a move that hasn’t been in the show for a while, but it’s fairly common in training. Lots of fighter pilots have mastered the move. That’s what we’re talking about, right?”
“You know exactly what we’re talking about!”
“Actually, I don’t,” he said. “You’re freaking out again. Shit, woman, how many times do we have to go over my job? You know what I do for a living. You’ve seen these maneuvers a hundred times. What the hell is wrong now?”
“No, no, no.” I shook my head. “That’s bullshit and you know it. That was stupid. You told me you were done with that crap. Why would you do it again? Why?”
“Okay, you are getting worked up over nothing,” he said. “I flew a perfect flight. I did nothing wrong. There were no risks.”
“You’re really going to stand here and lie to me?” I snapped.
“Look, Sam, this can’t happen,” he said.
“You can’t keep berating me in front of the entire crew.
I appreciate your concern, but if this thing we’re doing is supposed to be on the down low, you’re failing.
Do you see anyone else talking to me the way you do?
No, because it’s out of line. It’s disrespectful, and I can’t tolerate it anymore.
I’m a fucking pilot. I’m not sure why that seems to be an issue, but you knew that when you met me.
You knew that before we did anything. You don’t get to start setting rules and trying to drag me around by my dick. ”
I gasped and stared up at him. “I’m not trying to drag you around by anything.”
He stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders.
“I fly. Period. It’s my heart and soul. I could not possibly live without my wings.
You know that. I don’t understand why you’re asking me to give up something that makes me happy.
I would never ask you to give up anything. We’re not married. We’re not anything!”
My heart twisted. “No, I guess we’re not,” I said in a low voice.
“Sam, I didn’t do anything risky. I asked to pull the move before I did it. Honcho knew I was going to do it. He gave me the go-ahead. Why do you think they gave me the space to do it?”
I couldn’t stand here and listen to his lies.
“It was reckless,” I said. “Reckless and extremely dangerous. We’ve had this conversation too many times to keep having it.
I don’t know why you refuse to understand the dangers of your actions.
You’re selfish. I cannot continue to put you in harm’s way.
If you won’t make choices that keep you safe, someone has to do it.
Not just for your sake, but for my sake and the sake of the people that have to work with you.
For the sake of the spectators on the ground that would be traumatized for the rest of their days if they had to witness your fiery death. ”
“You know, some might say you’re jinxing me by constantly saying I’m going to die,” he spat.
“Have a little faith. This might be news to you, but I was flying before I met you, and I’ll be flying after you’re gone.
You are an inspector. I know you fly planes, but it isn’t the same.
You haven’t been in the simulator. You don’t know what I can do or what the jet can do. ”
I was so sick of him telling me I didn’t know my job. I might be just the inspector, but I had the final word. “I am the inspector,” I said with a tight smile. “I guess I better get out there and do some inspecting. After all, there is another show tomorrow.”
I spun on my heel and walked away from him.
I snatched my clipboard off the table and walked directly to Number Five on the tarmac.
I didn’t really do a full inspection. I spoke with the mechanics and then scribbled on the clipboard before stomping back to the catering area.
I ripped the paper from my clipboard and slapped it against his chest.
“What the hell now?” he groaned. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to make you happy.”
“I guess you’ll have tomorrow to think about what you can do to stay alive,” I said.
“What?” he asked. He pulled the paper away from his chest. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “What the fuck is this?” he growled.
“It turns out your aircraft is in need of some adjustments,” I said. “The crew says it might take a couple of days.”
“You’re grounding me?” he asked incredulously.
“I’m not grounding you, I’m grounding the aircraft,” I said with some smugness. Yes, it was petty, but I was not going to let the father of my child put his life at risk.
“You cannot do this,” he hissed. “You act as if this job is a game. This is my life. This is not a weapon for you to use whenever it suits you. You are the one that said we had to keep our personal life out of our work life. I can see why you say that. You don’t know how to keep things separate.”
“I’m doing my job,” I replied coolly. “I’m not letting what happened between us cloud my judgment.”
“The hell you aren’t,” he shot back. “That’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re trying to control me. I have to admit, I never imagined you would act like this. You certainly had me fooled.”
“I didn’t fool you,” I replied. “I’m not mixing personal and professional. I’m doing what I have to in order to keep the pilots and the military’s very expensive aircraft safe.”
“It’s none of your fucking business. I suggest you get your sweet ass back out there and redo your so-called inspection. We both know there is nothing wrong with that fucking jet!”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” I shot back. “I’m the final word here, not you.”
“I’ll go straight to the CO.”
“You go ahead and try.” I laughed. “Because my authority to ground a plane supersedes his. It’s my name that goes on those reports, not yours. Not his.”
“You vengeful little—”
“That’s enough,” Watch Dog said and grabbed Mitch’s arm. “Let’s go change.”
Medusa gently grabbed my elbow. “We’ll go get something to drink.”
“I’m not finished with him,” I growled.
“Oh, I think you are,” she whispered. “You guys were developing quite an audience. Unless you want the entire squad talking about the two of you and whether you are or you’re not sleeping together, you need to separate.
Both of you are a little hotheaded. No wonder you guys have such amazing chemistry.
You’re both very passionate about everything you do. ”
“I’m beginning to think our chemistry is more like oil and water,” I muttered. “Fire and ice. I don’t know what I ever saw in that stubborn mule.”
“I can think of a few things you saw in him.” She laughed. “It’s the same thing all women see.”
“Well looks aren’t everything,” I pouted.
“It just makes them even more stubborn. This whole thing was ridiculous. I should have never messed with him. He’s just like every other pilot I’ve met.
He’s cocky and arrogant and absolutely sure of himself.
He doesn’t care about anyone else. He’s all about chasing the next adrenaline rush. ”
“What exactly were you guys fighting about?” she asked.
“I grounded him for tomorrow,” I confessed.
She stopped walking and grabbed my arm. “What? Why?”
“Because his jet needs some work,” I lied.
“Sam,” she warned. “Tell me you didn’t purposely ground him because you’re mad at him.”
“I didn’t.”
“I heard something about a phone number,” she said. “Are you jealous of that reporter?”
“No. I didn’t even know about the reporter. But that is annoying. Then again, I don’t have anything to say about it. We’re not actually together.”
“Oh, you’re just carrying his child.” She laughed.
“It’s not like it’s completely unheard of for a couple to be in our situation,” I said.
“No, but your situation is a little different than the others. You two are different. No matter what happens between you, it’s important to remember you are both professionals with very important jobs.”
I blew out a breath. “You’re right. I know it. I think I just need some space.”
“Go back to the hotel and I’ll come by after our debrief,” she said. “We’ll eat ice cream and bash all men.”
I smiled at her. “Thank you, but I think I just need some time alone.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “You seem like you’re pretty upset.”
“I’m pregnant and hormonal,” I muttered. “I think upset is a permanent state of mind.”
“I understand.” She laughed. “I’ll check on you later.”
“Thank you.”
She walked away and I was left alone. As much as I wanted to do nothing more than go back to the hotel and wallow, I couldn’t.
I needed to check Number Seven before the preshow flights tomorrow.
The rest of the inspections could wait until tomorrow.
The show wasn’t scheduled until later. I couldn’t risk running into him.
There would be more things said. Things that could never be taken back.
He was about to call me something I was sure he would have regretted.
I was already feeling a little guilty about the things I said.
After doing my inspection and signing off, I left for the hotel without saying a word to anyone.
I felt like everyone had been whispering behind my back.
I couldn’t really blame them. I had made an ass of myself.
I really needed to learn to control my temper.
He brought out the worst in me. And the best, but it was the worst I seemed prone to display whenever we were together.
Truthfully, it was fear that drove me. I was terrified he was going to be hurt.
If I was like this with him, what was I going to be like with our child?
Lord help the poor thing. I was going to be a helicopter mom to the nth degree.
I would have to resist the urge to wrap the kid in bubble wrap and lock him in a room.
I ordered myself dinner with the hopes I could keep it down.
The stress and anxiety were making the nausea worse.
I understood why Medusa said the stress was bad for the baby.
It was bad for the baby because it was making me ill.
Maybe I needed to resign. It would be better for my relationship with Mitch.
Assuming I had a relationship with him. But no matter if we were together, he deserved the opportunity to have a relationship with the child.
Which brought up the fact I still needed to tell him about the child.
That would be difficult given our current status.
He was furious with me. I wasn’t exactly happy with him.
I needed to take a break. I had to think this through and come up with a plan.