Chapter 4
HUDSON
Ihad a pretty good buzz going, but my little brother was hammered.
He’d been trying to keep up with me. I spent my down days drinking with my Navy brothers.
We could put away a lot of alcohol and still be able to grab our rifles and hit a moving target.
I didn’t think I ever really got drunk anymore.
There was something in my brain that prevented me from reaching that state of oblivion.
It sure as hell wasn’t for a lack of trying.
It was a homecoming I was not expecting, but it felt good to be welcomed with open arms. I wasn’t entirely sure it would go this well.
Part of me wondered if the sentiment had changed toward guys like me.
I knew there was a shift in the air, but it didn’t reach here.
My hometown people were still supporting me.
I had made the right choice by coming home instead of letting myself get lost somewhere else in the country.
Initially, I hadn’t been sure if it was a good idea.
So far, my gut instinct to come home was working out. I just hoped that didn’t change.
“Woah,” I said and caught Hux from falling off his stool.
He grinned with one eye squinting a little. “Oops.”
The bar had cleared out for the most part. A few stragglers were behind, but otherwise it was just Teresa and one of her crew. Natalie was sitting at a table doodling on a napkin. I remembered she did that a lot when we were younger.
“It’s time to get you home,” I said to Hux.
Natalie got up from her chair, tucking the napkin into the back of the tight jeans she was wearing. She was still petite in height, but her curves were all woman. Her cropped brown hair hung around her shoulders in choppy waves.
I liked her no-nonsense appearance. She wasn’t trying hard to be sexy.
I liked that she wasn’t pretentious and throwing herself at me or any of the other guys in the pub.
She looked like she could care less that guys were staring at her tits.
I’d certainly given them more than one look.
Her polo shirt was unbuttoned, flashing a hint of her chest but keeping the ample cleavage hidden away—unless one was positioned just right.
Considering she was maybe a little over five foot and I was over six, if I stood behind her, I was perfectly positioned to get a glimpse of those milky-white globes that had clearly never seen the sun.
“Oh boy,” Natalie said when Hux got to his feet and stumbled.
“Yeah, I think he might have had a little bit too much.”
“You think?” she said with a shake of her head. “Come on, Hux. One of these days you’re going to listen to me.”
“I’m fine,” Huxley argued.
“Yeah, I can see that,” she shot back. “You’re lucky you live close. I should just leave you on the bench out front. Seagulls would shit all over you.”
“But you wouldn’t do that,” my brother said with a goofy smile. “You love me too much.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” she said dryly.
She hooked her arm around his waist and flung his arm around her shoulders like she had done this before. Hux towered over her. She was half his size but seemed to be handling his weight just fine.
“Let me help,” I said.
“You should have been watching how much he was drinking,” she lectured.
“He’s a big boy,” I said. “I didn’t realize anyone needed to watch him.”
“He’s happy to have you back and was trying to keep up with you,” she said.
“I love you,” Hux said and kissed Natalie on the cheek.
I wondered if this thing between them had evolved. It was only natural. She was a gorgeous girl and they had been friends forever.
“Let’s go, Casanova,” I said. “Do you still live above the bait and tackle store?”
“Yep,” he said. “Me and Nat are going to be rich soon and I’m going to buy the Johnson estate.”
“Just how well is business going?” I joked.
The Johnson estate was legendary among the locals.
The mansion was huge and had some of the best views on the east coast. It had also been empty a long time after some unfortunate family business.
No one touched the place because it was way too expensive and needed a lot of work to repair.
“We’re not doing that well,” Natalie replied, smiling and rolling her eyes.
Between the two of us, we walked him the couple blocks to his apartment. It was the stairs up to his place that gave us trouble. “I’ll walk behind just in case he falls,” Natalie said.
“Then he’ll just take you both down,” I replied. “I’ll walk behind and push his ass up.”
She walked alongside Hux with me right behind the two of them.
I had the perfect view of her ass in her tight jeans.
Curvy deliciousness begging to be squeezed was right in my face.
I had to pull my thoughts away from her tempting body.
My brother would not appreciate me fantasizing about his girl.
I was not about to return home and start that kind of family drama.
Natalie unlocked his door and flipped on a light. It took the both of us to get him into bed. I let him drop and would have left him. Natalie insisted on taking off his shoes and covering him with a blanket. She seemed very used to taking care of him.
We walked downstairs and paused. “Is this normal?” I asked her.
“Hux?”
“Yes. Do you often have to put his drunk ass to bed?”
“No,” she said with a laugh. “He’s just happy you’re back. He wanted to celebrate. I don’t blame him. He’s missed you. He was worried about you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re his brother,” she said. “I’m going to go. I have an early day tomorrow. I have a feeling Hux will be coming in late, which means I need to get up a little early.”
“I’ll walk you home,” I offered.
“No thanks.”
“Let me rephrase, I’m walking you home,” I repeated.
She raised an eyebrow. “Someone got extra bossy.”
“What kind of jerk would I be to walk my brother home and then leave you to get home on your own?” I asked.
“I walk home by myself every night,” she said. “Camden isn’t exactly a haven for crime.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I said, shrugging. “Where do you live? I’m assuming somewhere close, considering you walk to and from work.”
“I live three blocks that way.” She pointed inland.
“Show me the way.”
We started to walk with the sounds of the waves gently lapping against the many docks on the waterfront.
Music from one of the only open bars poured into the street.
It was just like I remembered it to be. The scent of the sea air was very familiar.
I was so used to it I almost didn’t smell it anymore.
I probably wouldn’t have noticed it except I’d been away from the sea for the last few months.
It was good to be back. At least good to be back near the water.
My sea legs were getting a little out of practice.
“Are you going to stay for a while?” she asked.
“I haven’t decided,” I answered. “I’m just kind of kicking things around. We’ll see how it goes. For now, this is where I want to be. I can admit I missed the place. My family. Even my brother’s annoying little friend.”
“Hey,” she said with a laugh and pushed my arm.
“I’m kidding,” I said. “Mostly.”
“Are you just out, or have you been kicking around for a while and just decided to come home?” she asked.
“Just out,” I said. “Ink on my retirement papers is barely dry.”
“Did you get pushed out because you’re too old?” she teased.
“Very funny,” I said. “They would have loved to keep me for another few years. I’m that good.”
“And oh so humble,” she said with a laugh. “This is me.”
I looked up at the big house. “You live here?”
“Just the bottom floor,” she said. “Three tenants.”
“Ah,” I said. “Nice place.”
“It is. One day I’ll buy.”
“When you strike it rich with your boat designs?” I asked.
“You say that like you don’t believe I’ll actually do it,” she replied.
“I’m sure you will.”
“You’re just saying that,” she said. “It’s okay. I know I’m good and eventually it will all take off.”
“I’m not just saying that,” I insisted. “I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ve done.”
“I doubt that, but that’s fine,” she said, shrugging. “You’ve always liked to tease.”
“I do enjoy a good tease,” I said, grinning. “Teasing is half the fun.” My eyes dropped to her lips. There was something about her that made me want to kiss her. I wanted her. Then I remembered Hux.
I heard her inhale. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was feeling the same pull. That was dangerous.
“I should go inside,” she breathed.
I nodded, knowing it was a good idea. It had been too damn long since I’d had the company of a woman. She was attractive but off limits. “Goodnight,” I said and stepped back.
She walked into the house and closed the door. I stared at the door for several seconds before forcing myself to walk away. My apartment wasn’t too far. We were all in the same area because it was where the locals lived. We couldn’t afford the expensive vacation homes on the other side of town.
I let myself into the empty apartment. A single folding camp chair sat in the middle of the living room.
I had a blowup mattress in the bedroom I’d asked the landlord to leave me.
That was it. My clothes were still in my duffel bag that I didn’t even remember bringing with me.
It was going to take some time to get used to the idea of having a home.
I wasn’t going to get called up with a twenty-four-hour notice.
I wasn’t going to deploy for eight months. This was it.
I stripped down to my briefs and carefully collapsed onto the mattress.
I stared up at the ceiling fan and watched it spin around and around.
It was totally quiet. The whirring of the fan was the only thing interrupting the silence.
I didn’t like the silence. The silence let in the thoughts that I preferred to keep out.
Instead of letting those thoughts take over, I thought about Natalie.
The last few times I had been home to visit, I didn’t see her.
Hux talked about her but I never really gave her a second thought.
She had changed. I remembered her as the little annoying girl and then as the teenager we’d all been worried about.
When her father drowned, Natalie was only thirteen, and it had devastated her and her mother.
It explained why she’d gone into engineering. Her dad had designed boats. She’d clearly followed in her father’s footsteps.
Our family had tried to take her in. She spent a lot of time with Hux, but they were always down by the water together. She’d withdrawn. I remembered her being a bubbly girl, always talking and carrying on. She annoyed the hell out of me back then. Now, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
We had all been through something. It affected us in different ways, but I saw something in her eyes that was very familiar.
It was the look of a woman that was pushing through life.
She smiled, but not like I remembered she used to before her father died.
I knew that feeling of pre-tragedy and post-tragedy.
No matter how hard a person tried to pretend they were the same, they weren’t. I wasn’t.
I would never be the same.