Chapter 35
NATALIE
“Ithink I’m just going to get drunk,” I said to Hux.
The pub had closed half an hour earlier.
Teresa was in back doing her office stuff while Hux and I hung out at front.
She was certain Gus and Hudson would come back here.
I hoped so. I hoped they came through the door soon.
The rain had let up for about fifteen minutes, but the storm had found its energy and kicked back up again.
“That’s not going to solve anything,” he replied.
“No, but I won’t know it didn’t solve anything until tomorrow,” I replied.
“You’re worrying over nothing,” he said. “He’s with a whole team. You know they aren’t going to do anything that puts their lives at risk. If they go down, then the people that need their help don’t get rescued. Hudson isn’t going to let that happen. They’ve got gear. He’s fine.”
“It’s so yucky outside,” I complained.
“I think it’s pretty safe to assume Hudson has dealt with far worse than a little rain.”
“A little rain.” I snorted. “You go stand out there for five minutes and then tell me it’s just a little rain.”
“Relax. Shit, drink. If that’s what it takes to get you to settle down.”
“Stop,” I scolded. “It’s not funny.”
I hated watching the clock, but there wasn’t much else to do.
“Maybe we should go home,” Hux said. “We’re not doing anything here. You can do laundry or work on your designs or go to bed. You need to get your mind off it or you’re just going to worry yourself sick.”
“I’m not going to bed,” I said.
“Come on, I’ll walk you home.”
He was right. I could at least pace or stress clean to pass the hours. If I sat here, I was going to drive myself absolutely crazy. “Okay,” I said. “Let’s go.”
Hux went back to let Teresa know we were leaving.
I was staring out the glass door and tried to imagine what he was going through.
I prayed he was safe. He worried me because I knew he was unsettled.
I didn’t want him to do something reckless that could cost him his life.
I knew he was capable, but it still made me worry.
I was spacing out, and at first, I didn’t see the two figures walking toward the door. Gus’s face became clear first. He pointed at the handle on the door. “Can you open it please?” he asked.
I saw Hudson standing behind him. “They’re back!” I shouted and reached for the door. I pushed it open and welcomed them inside. “You’re here. Are you okay?”
My eyes scanned Hudson. There was blood on his cheek, and he looked a little pale, but other than being soaked, he didn’t look too bad. He pulled the door closed behind him.
“We’re fine,” he answered.
I didn’t wait another minute to express just how glad I was to see him. I threw my arms around him, not caring that his wet clothes were making me wet. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I said.
“I’m going to find something hot to drink,” Gus called out.
Teresa and Hux had just come up front. “How was it?” Hux asked his brother and slapped him on the shoulder. “You look cold.”
“It was fine.”
“Did you save them?” Teresa asked.
“We did,” Gus answered.
He was behind the counter and making himself a pot of coffee like he had done it before.
“It was a successful rescue,” Hudson said.
“Your face,” I said.
“It’s just a scratch,” he said with his green eyes locked on mine. “It was a tree branch.”
We were staring at each other. I couldn’t stop looking at him.
I had truly been worried about him. The thought of him not coming back had gutted me.
That was when I knew. I had to talk to him.
I had to find out where things were going.
I didn’t want him to go out on another rescue without him knowing how I felt.
“Why don’t we get you something to eat?” Teresa said. “Hux, come with us.”
I barely heard them. I reached up to touch his cheek once again. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine,” he said, smiling. “In fact, I’ve never felt better.”
“You’re soaked,” I said. “You really shouldn’t be wearing wet clothes.”
“I’ll be dry soon enough,” he said, shrugging. “Gus gave me a ride. I’m on my way home.”
“It’s still raining,” I told him. “Come to my house.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Your house?”
“It’s closer,” I said. “I’ll get you some soup. Something warm. Hot. You need something hot. Hot chocolate or something.”
“Can I spike it?” he said.
“Absolutely. I’ve got some Kahlua. Or spiced rum.”
“Works for me,” he said, nodding. “We’re leaving!” he shouted over my head and grabbed my hand.
Hux called out goodbye just as we walked out the door into the pouring rain. We rushed through the rain to my house, laughing our asses off as we walked through the door. “I’ll get us a couple of towels,” I said.
“Can I take off my boots?” he asked.
“Yes, please.”
I rushed into the bathroom to grab a couple of towels.
I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and had to cringe.
I looked like a drowned rat. My hair was hanging in thick curls.
The mascara I had put on this morning was now under my eyes.
I dried my arms and dabbed at my neck with the towel as I walked back out to him .
“Here,” I said and handed him a towel. “I’ll make us a drink.”
He pulled off his shirt and hung it over the back of a chair. I made us two cups of spiked cocoa. I handed him one of the cups. “Do you want some soup?” I asked him.
“This is good,” he answered. “It wasn’t all that bad.”
“Can you talk about it or is there some kind of privacy clause?”
He grinned and shook his head. “I don’t think there is a privacy clause.” To my very pleasant surprise, he put down his cup and stripped out of his pants. He caught me looking. “They’re soaked.”
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I’ll toss them in the dryer.”
“Thanks.”
He wrapped a towel around his waist while I carried the wet clothes down the hall.
I tossed them into the dryer and rejoined him in the living room.
He was sitting at my kitchen table and sipping his drink.
I grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and draped it around his bare shoulders.
While I would have loved to stare at his naked body, I didn’t want him to freeze.
“So, what was it?” I asked. “What happened?”
“A young couple from the Big Apple took a little detour,” he explained.
“I didn’t get all the details, but it sounds like they were off trail.
She slipped and twisted her ankle. They kept going, but she was already off balance and wearing shitty sandals.
She fell again. From what I could tell, her shoulder was dislocated, and she might have had a broken ankle.
Her fiancé sprained his knee. It didn’t look too bad. ”
“Wow,” I said with a shake of my head. “Where did you find them?”
“They were down a ravine,” he said. “I have no idea what they were thinking. They are lucky we found them. It was loud out there. With the exposure and their location, I made the call to carry her out instead of waiting for the rest of the team to show up with a stretcher and all the rigging to pull her up the cliffside.”
“You carried her?”
“I did,” I said, nodding. “Honestly, it wasn’t that big of a deal. She weighed less than half of what one of my guys weighed. I’ve carried more than a few in my life.”
I was smiling as he talked. He was a born helper. The man was put on the earth to help others. I was so happy he was a part of my life. “I bet they were glad to see you.”
He smiled. “They were. Their family was pretty happy as well. I was glad to help.”
“I’m proud of you,” I said. “Very proud.”
“Thanks.”
“I was worried about you,” I told him. “I couldn’t stand the idea you might get hurt. I didn’t want to think about you not coming back before I could tell you a few things.”
“Uh oh,” he groaned. “Am I going to need to top off my drink?”
“Maybe,” I said.
I knew there were few men who appreciated a conversation that started with we need to talk. I took his cup and topped it off with some spiced rum. I wished I would have drunk a little more. I could use the liquid courage to say what I needed to say.
I sat down, took a deep breath, and prepared to spill my guts. “I’ve been doing some thinking.”
He groaned before laughing. “I’m sorry, go ahead. I’m just kidding. But before you say anything, can I say something first?”
I was afraid of what he might say. “Sure,” I said, shrugging.
“I’m sorry about this morning,” he said. “I lost my temper. I know how much you hate that shit. I should have handled it better.”
“Hudson, wait,” I stopped him. “I’m not upset about that. I walked away and I wish I wouldn’t have. You didn’t deserve that. I know why you did what you did. Hell, I’m kind of glad you did it, but I’ll deny it if you tell anyone.”
“Really?” he looked confused.
“Really,” I said. “You were defending me and yourself. I know you didn’t go in there to kick his ass.”
He nodded.
“What I want to make sure you understand is what happened today actually made me feel safe and protected,” I said.
“When I’m with you, I always feel safe. I know you’re never going to let anything happen to me if you can prevent it.
My whole life, I’ve always carried anxiety.
I’ve always had this fear that couldn’t be explained or rationalized away.
You calm the fear. You make it disappear.
I know this is probably a lot for you. We’ve never really talked about this, but I just want you to know where I’m at.
I’m ready to do this for real. I want to be with you. I want us to have a real relationship.”
There was no expression on his face. He took a drink and seemed to be digesting my words. I wondered what he was thinking. Was I totally crazy for thinking he would actually want a relationship with me? Every second that passed without him saying a word was making me believe it.