Chapter 48
HUDSON
Ilay in the hammock stretched out on the dock of the massive sailboat.
I was enamored with watching her. There was a cool breeze washing over me, but it didn’t bother me.
I could lie right where I was all day long.
Natalie was standing at the huge wooden wheel of the sailboat.
Her hair had grown out a little and was being lifted and blown in the breeze.
“You’re gorgeous,” I said from my perch on the bow.
She grinned at me. “You’re not so bad yourself, hot stuff.”
“Did you ever think you would be out here again like this?” I asked her.
“Nope,” she said.
Her sunglasses shielded her eyes from the sun high in the sky. It was a perfect fall day. The sailboat was one we were thinking about buying. For today, we rented it. Everyone in town knew who Natalie was and trusted her to sail any of their boats.
“How do you feel about it?” I asked her.
“It’s a beautiful boat,” she said. “It’s a little bigger than I think I want.”
“But it’s the old style,” I reminded her. “Is that what you wanted?”
“It is, but I’m not sure we need something this big,” she said. “I love it, but I’m thinking something a little faster.”
“Oh, now she wants to be a racer,” I said, laughing.
“Maybe.”
“Drop anchor and come get in this hammock with me,” I said.
She laughed again but made no move to get in the hammock with me. “You relax and enjoy the ride,” she called out.
“I’m enjoying the view.” I liked flirting with her.
“You know, I’m pretty sure most people would be facing the other way,” she said, laughing. “You could be enjoying a really beautiful view.”
“Nah, I’ve got the best view in the house,” I said.
After sailing us out a little farther, she finally dropped the anchor and climbed into the hammock with me. The hammock pretty much forced us to lie together. It was what I had been waiting for since we pulled away from the dock.
“You slept really well last night,” she commented.
“I did,” I said, nodding. “I know it sounds crazy, but I really do sleep better when I’m with you. Even if I don’t seem like it.”
“I’m just glad I can be there for you.”
“I think—and you can tell me if you think I’m moving too fast—but I think I’m ready to do it,” I said. “If you don’t want to, I understand.”
We had been talking a lot about moving in together, but we were both cautious.
We were both learning to manage the nightmares.
She knew to stay away from me when a nightmare started.
She would try and wake me from the door, but if her voice wasn’t enough, she left it alone.
Usually, I would wake up soon after she was alerted to one of my nightmares.
“I am ready,” she said. “I’m not afraid of you. I love you. I know there is some work to do. We’ll keep making progress together.”
“I love you,” I said. “I don’t know if I would be able to get through this without you at my side. I’m so grateful for you.”
“I’m glad I get to be here with you,” she said. “You know I’m ready to share a home with you.”
“Awesome,” I said. “That’s really good news. We’ll start looking for a place.”
The hammock gently swayed back and forth.
Life had changed a lot for me in the last few months.
I had found my touchstone. I knew I was going to be okay.
It took a while for me to feel that way.
Between my family, Gus, and ultimately Natalie, I had found a groove.
I was working with search and rescue in a more official capacity.
I was teaching some classes and leading more rescues.
I was also on-call for the state team as well.
“I was thinking about taking a few days off,” Natalie said.
“You should,” I replied. “But why?”
“Things are slow now,” she said. “I don’t need to be in the office. No one is coming in to get a boat designed right now. Besides, we’re pretty booked out. With your crew busting ass in the shop, I’m not needed there.”
“It’s about time,” I said. “Hux and I both have tried to tell you to take a minute.”
“I know,” she said, sighing. “I’m just always so worried I should be doing more.”
“You do plenty.”
“If and when we move in together, I’ll take more time off then,” she said. “We’ll be able to set up house and relax. I don’t want to do it when we’re both stressed after a long day at work.”
“I don’t know if you’re expecting me to argue, but I’m not going to,” I said, laughing. “I would not mind spending some leisurely days with you. We can lay in bed all day.”
“That sounds like a very good idea,” she said and patted my chest. “With throw pillows.”
“I’m cool with pillows,” I said.
We had a few shopping sprees, but they were mostly about window shopping.
We talked about what we liked for our future living room.
We picked out dishes and bedding. It was fun.
I never imagined I would have fun shopping for anything, but she made it fun.
She gave me a chance to glimpse into the future.
“I’m happy,” she said. “Really happy.”
“Because of me?” I asked.
“You know it’s because of you,” she said, laughing.
“But not just because I have an amazing boyfriend. I have this whole life. I’ve got my mom, who is very happy.
I’ve got my work, which I love. I’ve got sailing again.
I have the water. I’ve always heard people that have vision problems and then get glasses are always surprised by what the world looks like when they can see properly.
That’s what I feel like. I feel like I can see the world clearly now.
Everything is so much better and brighter. You are my glasses.”
Sometimes, I felt so much love for her, it made my heart very literally feel full. Like it was so full, it could explode out of my chest. I kissed the top of her head. “Sit tight, I’m going to be back in a flash. Do you want anything from the galley?”
“No thanks,” she said, sighing. “I’m good. So good.”
I gave her a kiss and went downstairs. I grabbed the bottle of champagne I had brought along with two glasses. When I went back topside, she had climbed out of the hammock and was standing at the edge looking out at the water.
“Something out there?” I asked.
“No. I was just thinking.”
“About?” I asked. I put the bottle on the deck and stepped beside her. “What’s on your mind?”
“I was just thinking about my dad,” she said, sighing.
“I always knew he loved being out here, but I don’t think I really understood the appeal.
I get it now. There is beauty in danger.
He knew how dangerous the sea could be. I think that was part of the allure.
Every time you’re out here, you’re tempting fate.
A storm could kick up. The boat could sink.
A person could have a heart attack. But this view is so worth it. ”
“That’s dark,” I said. “Do you really think that’s what he was thinking all those hours he spent on the water?”
“Maybe not all the time, but I’m sure it had to occur to him,” I said. “And as horrible as it was that he drowned, at least he was doing something he loved.”
“You’ve made him very proud,” I told her. “I know he would be so happy to see you out sailing and picking up his love for the water once again.”
“I agree,” she said, sighing. “Sorry to get sappy. I don’t want to ruin the moment. I was just thinking about him. I always feel close to him when I’m out here.”
I kissed her cheek. “I’m glad I get to share the experience with you.”
“Thank you for bringing me back to life,” she whispered. “And bringing my father back to me in a way.”
“You’re welcome.”
I pulled her away from the edge. We faced each other, with my hand holding hers. I carefully pushed up her sunglasses and then removed my own. I wanted to look into her eyes when I spoke to her. “I love you,” I said.
“I love you.”
“There is another reason I wanted to bring you out here today,” I said.
“I wanted some time alone with you, far away from any distractions. We’ve known each other for a large part of our lives.
I’ll admit, I never really paid all that much attention to you when I was younger.
I wish I would have, but I’m glad I noticed you now.
When I returned home, I thought I was lost. I was certain I would never be the kind of man that would have love.
You showed me love. You showed me what it was like to be loved and what that love could do for a man.
It changed my life. It changed my outlook on life.
That first time you were talking about eating mushy foods, I knew something was different.
I want that life you talked about. I want to lose my hair and teeth and eat oatmeal with you. I don’t mean just hypothetical.”
I pulled the ring from the pocket of my cargo pants.
“Hudson,” she breathed.
“You know I love you and I know I will never find another woman like you. I never want to. I want to be with you until my last breath. Then I’ll wait for you somewhere in the afterlife.
You are the one person in this world I want to be with forever and always.
I want to marry you. I want to get started on that dream you have.
I know I’ve provided you with more than enough nightmares.
Now let me give you a dream. Natalie, will you please be my wife?
Give me the children we talked about. I’ll give you the house on the beach. ”
“Oh, Hudson,” she whispered. “I love you. How do you know what to say to melt my heart? I will absolutely marry you. I have been waiting my whole life for you. You’re the only man I will ever want. I want your babies.”
I slid the ring on her finger a moment before she kissed me. The kiss lasted for several minutes. When she pulled back, she was out of breath.
“I’m going to open the champagne,” I said. “Hold tight.”
“That’s why you brought that,” she said, giggling. “You had this whole thing planned!”
“Obviously,” he said. “I wanted to make sure I did this right. I couldn’t risk you saying no. It would have crushed me.”
“I can’t believe you thought I would ever say no,” she said, laughing. “The ring is beautiful. I cannot wait to tell my mom. Does Hux know?”
I nodded. “He knows I was going to ask. I kind of felt like I had to ask his permission. He thinks of you as his little sister.”
“That’s very sweet of him,” she said, smiling.
I handed her the glass of champagne. She was holding her hand out and admiring the ring. It made me happy to know she liked it.
I held up my glass. “To us,” I said and held up my glass.
“To us and our future,” she replied.
We sat down on the L-shaped bench with our champagne.
My arm was draped around her shoulders. If someone would have told me six months ago I was going to be engaged before the year was out, I would have laughed them right out the door.
But here I was, sitting on a sailboat and drinking champagne with my fiancée.