Chapter 29
SANTIAGO
Commander Nicholson marched into my office just as I was about to wrap up for the day. Surprised that he was here again, I shot up from my chair but he waved me off before I could do anything else. “At ease, Cortez. I’m just here to have a little chat. It’s nothing official.”
“A little chat?” I frowned as my heart catapulted into my chest. “About what, sir?”
He shut the door behind him before heading back to that spot he seemed to like on my sofa. “Given all the issues we’ve had with the instructors, we’ve been keeping a much closer eye on you all these last couple of weeks.”
I nodded. “I’ve noticed you around a lot more often. For the record, I’ve spoken to the others. They insist there’s no problem. Apparently, it’s just that we’ve had a few sessions since Perkins retired and they’re starting to think about their own legacies.”
“Let me guess,” he said thoughtfully. “They don’t want to be remembered as tyrants who nearly broke their trainees in an attempt to make them strong?”
I grimaced. “Pretty much.”
He sighed. “It’s not the first time we go through something like this when a long-standing trainer retires. It always seems to happen when the dust finally settles a couple years after they leave.”
“If you knew what it was about, why ask me to talk to them?”
He shrugged. “I needed to know for sure. Besides, regardless of the why, they’ve still got jobs to do and they need to be reminded of that. However, that’s not what I came to talk to you about.”
“It’s not?” My heart squeezed again. “What else is there?”
The man lowered his head slowly to one side, studying me intently for a moment before he nodded. “I wanted to talk to you about the work you’re doing. You’ve been great and you’ve churned out some really strong cadets during your time here.”
“Thank you, sir.”
He nodded once. “Have you ever thought about what comes next?”
I frowned again. “No, sir.”
“Maybe it’s time for you to start thinking about it,” he said. “There’s an offer on the table we’d like you to consider.”
“There is?”
“Yes, there is.” To my surprise, he chuckled, which didn’t happen very often.
“Don’t look so shocked, Cortez. There’s always some kind of offer on a table somewhere for someone like you.
In this case, it’s that you can move up after this session.
You just need to make sure you get this class done right, and after that, it’s up to you whether you stay or whether you go. ”
My heart stammered in my chest. “I thought you said I was doing a great job.”
“You are,” he repeated. “We’ll be sad to see you go, but ultimately, it’s your career. You need to decide if this is where you want to stay or if you’d like to advance.”
I had no idea what to say. “Thank you, sir. Can I have some time to think about it?”
“Of course.” He rose from the sofa and gave me a meaningful look. “You’re an excellent instructor, Cortez. Never doubt that. This is an opportunity, but it’s not compulsory for you to take it. Get back to me.”
“I’ll do that, sir.” Once he was gone, I stood frozen in place. With all the guys talking about legacy so much recently, it’d been on my mind as well.
This session would be over soon enough, though, and that was pretty soon. If I took this opportunity, it would mean moving up long before I ever thought I would. It would mean leaving being an instructor behind while I still felt like I had a lot to offer future classes.
On the other hand, I’d been thinking about doing a lot more than just that. My lids closed as I considered the silver platter that had just been presented to me. Well, the opportunity on said platter, anyway.
It was a gift. A damn considerate one, and not one I could ignore. Shit, I really need to think about this.
Almost as if acting on autopilot, my feet started carrying me to the door and out of the training center.
I had my wallet, phone, and keys in my pocket, but I’d left everything else behind.
I needed to get to my pier, though. It was the one place around here that had always helped me think clearly, and that was exactly what I needed right now.
As I emerged around the bend on the beach, I saw a silhouette sitting alone at the pier in the waning light. Whoever it was seemed to be watching the sunset and my nose scrunched up. Of all the days for someone else to find my spot, did it really have to be today?
Part of me considered backing off and leaving the spot-thief to their thoughts, but eventually, I decided against it.
The pier was public property. I didn’t have to give this person a turn here alone, and I’d simply make sure my thoughts were louder than theirs.
Maybe if I do, they’ll leave me alone instead.
Once I got close enough, however, the air whooshed out of my lungs when I recognized the back and narrow shoulders of the thief. Layla? What the hell is she doing here?
“Hey,” I said just loud enough to warn her of my approach, but hopefully not so loud that I startled her.
At first, she went rigid, but then she turned slowly and a soft smile spread on her lips. “Imagine meeting you here. What are the odds?”
“Pretty good since you chose my special place to come watch the sunset.” I slid my hands into my pockets and I took the final few steps between us and sat down beside her. “What’s up? It looked like you were pretty deep in thought there.”
“I was,” she admitted quietly, a sadness to those eyes before she blinked it away and smiled again. “That wall is kicking my ass. All this time, I thought I’d get it eventually, but now…”
“You will get it.” I gently rocked my shoulder into hers. “Just stop turning it into more than it is. You’ve got it, Perkins. Now, you just need to show it that.”
She sighed, but then she took a deep breath and shook her head. “I don’t know about that, but sitting here talking about it isn’t going to magically help me get over. How about you? What brings you out here?”
“I just got a visit from Nicholson,” I said, surprising even myself by saying it so easily and so openly.
Layla’s pretty eyes widened. “The Station Commander? That Nicholson?”
“Yep.” I gave her a quick breakdown of what he’d told me, watching as light came back into her eyes until she finally threw her arms around my neck when I was done.
“I’m so proud of you, Santiago. That’s amazing. Congratulations. You really are a freaking super star.”
“Thanks.” I squeezed her back, keeping her in my arms longer than strictly necessary for a congratulatory hug but also not willing to let her go just yet. “I haven’t decided if I’m going to take it, though.”
Regrettably, the comment made her pull away so she could look at me. “Why wouldn’t you? This is incredible. You’ve only been doing this job for a couple years and they already want to promote you. That’s, like, the dream, isn’t it?”
I chuckled as I dipped my head in a nod. “Yeah, I suppose it is. Or at least, it used to be, but I’ve, uh, I’ve been thinking a little bigger these last few weeks.”
“Bigger than a promotion.” She rounded her eyes at me before she lowered her voice. “How big are you thinking? Like taking over the world, or just the service?”
I laughed. “Wouldn’t that be something? But no. Nothing quite like that. I have no interest in taking over anything.”
She pretended to be disappointed as she pursed her lips at me and shook her head. “Well, what are we even doing here, then?”
Bumping my shoulder into hers once more, I grinned before I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking about retiring, I guess. Doing something away from the service.”
“What?” All traces of humor vanished from her features. “Are you serious? Why?”
“This is all I’ve ever done, you know? There’s been a lot of talk about the future and legacies and how short life really is.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing else I’d rather have been doing with my life so far, but there’s a great big world out there.
I’m not sure this is the only thing I ever want to do. ”
Her jaw slackened as she stared at me. “Oh, my God. You are serious.”
“I am.” I was also realizing that I’d never talked to anyone the way I spoke to her. It was just so easy and comfortable that it came naturally, without any effort at all. “What do you think?”
She kept looking into my eyes for another long minute before she finally smiled and touched her soft palm to my cheek.
“I think you’re one of those people who will make a success of anything you put your mind to.
I also think that you might just end up regretting it if you don’t follow your heart.
If you really think there might be more out there for you, then I think you should seriously consider pursuing it. ”
I leaned into her touch, turning my head to press a kiss to the very center of her palm. “Well, if this is my last class, then I’m happy you’re in it.”
When I turned my head to face her again, I leaned into her instead of just her hand. Fuck it.
My lips met hers halfway, both of us surging into the kiss like we’d die if anyone tried to keep us from doing it right now. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer as I devoured her mouth like it’d been years since I’d last done it.
In a way, it felt like it really had been years. Every day I couldn’t kiss her felt like a decade at this point. As I laid her back on the sand and covered her body with my own, I knew we were still playing a dangerous game.
Once again, we were back here where anyone could happen upon us, and the decision about what to do with my future might very well get taken out of my hands if someone did see this. But I honestly just didn’t give a shit right now.
It’d been too long and too much had happened, and just for this next hour or so, I was going to pretend that it was real. That we were together and that there was nothing standing in our way.