Chapter 37
SANTIAGO
As I watched Layla finish the course, I wasn’t even going to pretend that my chest wasn’t swollen with pride. I was super excited for her for getting over that wall, and even though I couldn’t show it, no one was going to stop me from feeling it.
I waited for her at the finish line like I’d promised, but I couldn’t do much more than shoot her a smile before the others started realizing I was there. Matt was the first to notice me, and his eyes widened before he grinned.
“Master Chief Cortez! It’s good to see you, man. How are you feeling?”
“Better,” I said honestly, and I really was feeling better than I had in months.
Ron had come through for me in a big way and it finally felt like the stars were aligning. If I played my cards right, I was going to get to have a relationship with the girl of my dreams and I was going to get to keep the Coast Guard.
But for now, I had to deal with the cadets first. As soon as Matt had said my name, the others had looked over and seen me, and now a whole swarm of surprisingly excited cadets was descending on me.
“Are you back?” Jonathan asked hopefully after shaking my hand. “Please tell me you’re back. We’ve been worried about you, and working our asses off just isn’t the same without you yelling at us to pick up the pace.”
I laughed. “Sorry, but it’s not going to be me yelling at you anymore. I found you someone else. He yells just as well as I do, though.”
Jonathan sighed, but then his gaze darted off to the side when I motioned for my permanent replacement to join us. “Cadets! This is Chief Petty Officer Robin Brooks. He’s taking over your torture from now on.”
Robin crossed his arms and chuckled as he came to stand beside me, but then he cut the cadets a look so sharp when they laughed with us that every last one of them shut up instantly.
“I’m glad to see you think this is funny, cadets.
The next person who so much as smiles is going around the course two more times. ”
I grinned, reaching out to pat his shoulder as I nodded my approval. “I think you’re all going to get along just fine.”
Jameson let out a loud sigh before he looked back at me. “Where are you going, Master Chief?”
“Not far, Gray. Not far.” I took a step back. “Happy Friday, cadets. My gift to you is the weekend off, but only after Brooks here has seen what you can do.”
They groaned, and I grinned. Just before I left, I finally made eye contact with Layla.
Hopefully, my gaze lingered on hers for long enough to let her know that I needed to talk to her.
She met my stare with a hard one of her own, but finally, she nodded and then fell into formation as Robin moved forward to address them.
As I turned and walked away, I hoped like hell that she’d come find me once they were done for the day. My afternoon was jam-packed with meetings with some of the higher-ups, and by the time I left the last one, I saw the cadets starting to leave for the weekend.
My spirits sank when I realized I might’ve missed Layla. I half-jogged to my office, hoping she’d be there, but she wasn’t. I checked my watch. Robin would’ve dismissed them almost twenty minutes ago. If she was going to come here, she’d have been here already.
After grabbing my stuff, I locked up the office and headed for the dorms, but the girls’ was empty. I went to the obstacle course next. There was a faint possibility that she’d gone back to the wall, but even as I rounded the bend, I knew the place was abandoned.
I checked anyway, but she wasn’t there.
Eventually, once I realized I was out of options, I shoved my hands into my hair and dragged in a deep breath, keeping it in my lungs for a long minute. Just because she hadn’t come to find me didn’t mean I’d never see her again, obviously.
Monday would be here soon and I was still going to be on the Station even if I wasn’t going to be their instructor anymore, but I’d really been hoping to catch her before she left.
The last few days had been hectic, and since I’d been trying to do things the right way, I hadn’t wanted to talk to her before I knew for sure that everything was in place.
Now, I wondered if perhaps I should’ve talked to her before. I also wondered if I’d waited too long. Before they’d completed the course earlier, I’d seen her talking to Matt. I saw her smiling at him before that whistle blew.
I doubted she was interested in him that way, but that hadn’t stopped the jealousy from snaking through me like a living thing.
Those boys in her class weren’t blind, and no matter how hard I’d come down on Bruce, I wouldn’t be able to keep them away from her forever.
If she wanted one of them, I wouldn’t try to keep them apart either, but shit.
I was really hoping I hadn’t lost her for good. After everything I had gone through to get to this point, it would be a real fucking bummer if she’d already moved on. More than a bummer. Frankly, it would break my damn heart, but it would also be my fault if she was gone.
The last time we’d spoken, I’d told her it was over. I could hardly blame her if she’d taken me at my word and was trying to move on. It would probably be better for her if that was what she was doing, but selfishly, I hoped it wasn’t.
Selfishly, I hoped I still had a shot.
Sighing as I backed away from the course, I headed to the pier. It was the last place I could think of where I might find her, and if she wasn’t there, then I supposed I would just have to hope that I got the chance to talk to her on Monday.
Since I was going home for the weekend regardless of whether I went alone, I drove to the beach and parked at the top of the path. I was trying my best not to get my hopes up, but as I strode down and hit the sand, I wouldn’t deny that I said a little prayer that she would be there.
Wonder above wonder, it worked. As soon as I came around the corner, I saw a familiar silhouette sitting in our spot. My heart did some kind of hopscotch thing in my chest as I approached her, and just as I was wondering what to say, she suddenly twisted around to look at me.
“I thought you might be here,” she said quietly, her eyes sad before she turned them back to the ocean. “What is it, Master Chief? You wanted to talk to me, so here I am.”
“You got that, huh?” I asked lamely. “Actually, scratch that. You obviously got it. I, uh, I was hoping I might convince you to come with me for the weekend.”
“Come where?”
“To my place,” I said. “We need to talk.”
“Sure, we do, but it won’t take us all weekend to do it. Besides, you said we needed to stop and you and I both know that if I come home with you, that’s not going to happen. We’ll just go right back to doing what we were doing before, and I can’t go through all this again.”
“Neither can I,” I agreed.
Surprise flickered in her gaze when she finally looked at me again, her head tilting slightly to one side. “You’re going through it, too?”
“Of course, I am,” I said quietly, reaching for her hand slowly enough that she could withdraw it if she wanted to. “Please come with me?”
She moved her hand away so I couldn’t take it, but she also kept looking at me for what felt like an eternity before she nodded.
“Fine, but I’m taking my own car and just because I’m going doesn’t mean I’m going to stay.
I want answers and if I have to drive over an hour to get them, then fine.
I’ll do it, because we can’t really get into it here, but I need you to promise me that if we go all the way to your place, you’ll tell me everything I want to know. ”
“Deal,” I said. “We can take my car, though. It’s parked right at the entrance to the path, and if you want to come back, I’ll drive you.”
She exhaled through her nostrils before she nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s go.”
Getting up, she brushed the sand off her ass and headed for the path without waiting for me. Almost no words were spoken by either of us for the entire drive, and when we got to my place, she strode in, but then she turned and faced me, her eyes widening as she motioned for me to talk.
“I’m listening, Cortez.”
I nodded. “Okay, well, uh, first, you should know that I don’t want to stop. I never did.”
“Why did you say it, then?” she countered.
I shrugged. “I didn’t think I had a choice.”
“Do you?”
“I do now,” I said. “Do you want a beer?”
“No. Thank you. All I want is answers and then I’m out of here.
” Hurt darkened those beautiful eyes, locked on mine.
“Regardless of whether or not you wanted to, you still broke up with me. I’m trying to deal with that.
I’m trying to move on, so why am I here, Santiago?
Just cut the crap and tell me what you want to tell me. ”
“Your dad got me a new job,” I said, and when her eyebrows jumped, I nodded. “I know, I was just as surprised as you are, but he seems to be okay with this. With us being together.”
“He is?”
I nodded. “I think so. I was going to quit so that we could be together if you still wanted me. Your dad found me while I was packing up my office. We talked and eventually he told me to stop packing and then he left.”
Those green eyes were huge, and somehow, they kept getting bigger but she didn’t interrupt me. “It turns out that the instructors on our Station need an instructor and you’re looking at him.”
“What? That’s what Nicholson meant when he talked about you getting promoted?”
“No, they were actually trying to get your dad back for a few sessions, but he suggested they hire me instead.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you, but that’s not really the point. The point is that I wasn’t going to stay if I would have to stop seeing you. I just couldn’t do it. Didn’t want to. I also didn’t want to keep sneaking around.”
Moisture glistened her cheeks as she tensed, folding her arms over her chest as if she was protecting herself from something.
Protecting herself from me, presumably. “What are you really saying, Santiago? You’re going to have to spell it out for me because I haven’t so much as seen you from a distance since you broke up with me and I’m not just going to throw myself into your arms without knowing for a fact you’re not just going to turn around and disappear again. ”
“I’m not just going to turn around and disappear again,” I said as I closed the distance between us slowly, step by step, my gaze fixed on hers.
“What I’m really saying is that I love you.
I love you so much that I was about to walk away from the only career I’ve ever wanted for you.
I’m sorry that I hurt you and I know it doesn’t make it any better, but hurting you hurt me, too.
I guess I just realized that we couldn’t be together if I was going to be your instructor. When that helicopter went down…”
I sighed as a shudder passed through me. “I was terrified and I did something stupid as a result. Something that might’ve gotten us both killed if it had gone down any differently. As soon as you left my apartment that night, though, I knew I’d made a mistake by ending things.”
“So why has it taken you this long to tell me?” she asked in a shaky voice as tears slid down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry about that, too. I didn’t want to talk to you about it until I knew it was all definitely happening and I only got my official letter of appointment last night.”
“So you’re officially not our instructor anymore?”
I shook my head. “I’m not your instructor anymore, but if you’d let me, I’d like to be your boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend, huh?” She smiled through her tears and looked up at me when I finally reached her, not stopping until my chest was pressed to hers. “I think I’d like that, too.”
“Good.” I lifted my hands to her cheeks and dipped my head. “Am I forgiven?”
“No, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to me this weekend,” she murmured as she looped her arms around my neck. Then she pulled me down and kissed me until I knew that while I might not have been forgiven just yet, we were definitely back together.
She hadn’t moved on. I hadn’t lost her, and now, I was finally going to have a chance to show her just how much I’d missed her.