Chapter 40
CHAPTER FORTY
On Sunday, the next morning, Jamie was gratified to find Brinton’s thigh hooked over his hip, her head buried on his bare chest. She smelled like her herbal-sweet hair oil mixed with lavender from the bath.
He could have stayed enmeshed with her forever.
But tomorrow, she was going back home. He intended to make use of every blissful second.
First, he had to eat the frog. Or rather, tame the beast that lived in the castle next door.
He kissed a still-sleeping Brinton on the forehead and carefully slipped out of bed.
After commandeering a spare toothbrush from the bathroom, he splashed cold water on his face and looked in the mirror.
For the first time in his adult life, he was no longer willing to let the most important people in his life ignore that this was his life to live.
It was eight o’clock when he rapped on the double doors at his father’s office. Jamie knew he’d be awake, likely drinking black coffee at his desk after his morning workout. Or plotting the course of the rest of Jamie’s life, just for fun.
“Come in, son.”
Cautiously, Jamie crossed the threshold. “You were expecting me?”
His father set his open newspaper on the desk. “Saw you sneak in late last night. How is she?”
“Better now,” Jamie said, straightening his shoulders.
“I think you and I both know that’s not true,” his father said casually, sipping his coffee.
“That girl needs some help. More than you can give her. I watched your mama break down like that for years. I couldn’t be a hero to her, so don’t think you can be one to Ms. Shaw either.
Women like your mama—and Ms. Shaw—aren’t built for this chaotic life.
If I hadn’t been so selfish to think I could protect her, that all the love I had could buffer all the ugly in this world, she’d still be on God’s green Earth today. ”
“Daddy, respectfully—”
His father paused. “You sleeping with Ms. Shaw?”
Jamie’s molars clenched along with his fist. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“You’re my namesake, boy. Everything you do is my business. That’s why I set you up for another golden run with this record.”
“What about what I want? For years, I went along with your plan because I was too scared to fail, but I’m tired of living this bullshit lie. She believes in me, and I believe in her.”
“So you’re throwing everything away—everything I’ve done for you—for a woman you barely even know?”
“I want her in my life.” He matched his father’s acerbic tone. “That’s what I know.”
Jamie Sr. slapped that morning’s copy of The Tennessean on the desk, and slid it forward. “Well, I suppose you oughta see how that article comes out first. In the meantime, here’s your latest glowing review.”
On the front page, the first headline read: Jamie Crawford Jr. Abandons Sold-Out Show for ‘Family Emergency.’
Jamie’s heart was a free-falling elevator. The good press was fleeting, but the bad press never got easier to take.
Jamie Sr. half smiled and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, it’s all over the internet too.
A lot of colorful rumors out there. Everything from you were drunk off your ass to you’re on the verge of a meltdown.
Don’t worry though. Sammi’s already on damage control.
You’re lucky if the label don’t get cold feet and cancel the tour. ”
He rose from his seat, met his son where he stood. Even as an older man, he still had an inch on Jamie’s six-foot-two frame. “And don’t think I don’t know about the production fine. I told Tex to cut it from every band member’s check.”
“Now wait a minute, that’s not even remotely fair—”
“Somebody’s gotta learn the consequences of your actions since, clearly, you haven’t.”
Jamie stepped forward, now nose-to-nose with his father.
“Fine. I accept full responsibility for my actions last night and will pay everyone back myself. But I gotta tell you, Daddy, I don’t regret it.
I’d do it again. You, Tex, and Sammi…Y’all treat me like this ain’t my life to live. And that’s gotta change.”
“You’re choosing a journalist—an outsider—over your family? But then again, the way you’ve been acting, it’s no real surprise.”
“If that’s how you see it, so be it. But for me, I’m finally choosing for myself.”
His father smiled wryly. “What are you gonna do when it gets out that y’all were sneaking around when she was supposed to be working? You read what folks said about her after the Grammys? Not for the faint of heart.”
Jamie’s breaths were clipped as he considered this. He hadn’t read anything. One more regret he had about that time.
He wouldn’t let those razored barbs hurt her again.
“That’s in the past,” Jamie said, even as the words fell flat from his lips.
His father’s eyes narrowed. “You and I both know that ain’t true. In fact, everything she does from now is gonna come back to you. She’ll never have an identity outside your name. And if she fails, she’ll blame you. She’ll leave you. Did you think of that?”
Jamie shook his head. “I’m gonna support her because she’s supporting me.”
His father’s wry smile dissolved. “What are you getting at?”
Jamie exhaled, dug deep for the strength he needed to say what he had to. Years of lies, rolled in shame and spiked with regret. It all came down to this moment.
“I told Brinton everything, and she wrote about it for Landmark. It’s gonna be this month’s cover story. Which means, that new deal you made me sign is done, because the truth is gonna be out there. So I want you to cancel the contract, make it official.”
His father’s lips parted, but he didn’t speak.
Instead, he strode toward one of the picture windows overlooking the guest house, his back turned to his son.
“Fine. Clearly, you’ve made your mind up.
Just know that all I’ve ever done was look out for you, even when you cut off your nose to spite your face.
I tried to keep you from throwing your life away on a whim. ”
“I ain’t that thirteen-year-old boy running away from my problems anymore.” Jamie turned to leave, but his father’s voice halted him like a concrete wall.
“When I was starting out, I didn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.
I never wanted you, or your mama, to struggle like that.
” He scoffed. “My daddy split before I could even walk, and your grandmother, God rest her soul, folded boxes in that paper mill ’til her joints were stiff, and then the cancer spread… ”
He waited a long moment, but didn’t finish.
Jamie had never met either of his paternal grandparents, and his father rarely talked about them.
Jamie, sadly, didn’t even know where his grandmother was laid to rest. But he knew that his father’s early life had been much harder than his own.
Over time, with each personal loss, ruthless pragmatism had calcified his father’s emotions.
Jamie couldn’t let himself suffer the same.
He wouldn’t waste the grace Brinton brought into his life.
“You’re all I got left in this world, son.”
Jamie spun around, meeting his father’s unyielding stare. “I appreciate you, Daddy,” he offered earnestly. “And everything you’ve done for me—for us. The thing is, there’s more than one way to care about somebody. I hope one day, you’ll see that.”
Jamie didn’t look back again.