Chapter 12 #2
I didn’t say the words that were almost crawling out of my throat. I don’t want to let you down.
He was still leaning into me, and it was overwhelming in the best way possible.
I pushed up to kiss him and he responded without hesitation, his tongue stealing into my mouth, hot and hungry.
I let that moment take my mind off the things I needed to do.
The trial that was starting in two days, the meeting with the sheriff, the things I knew were on my shoulders to fix and I wasn’t sure if I could.
After a moment, Patrice pulled back and brought his hand to my mouth. He brushed my top lip as he looked at me, with an expression of complete befuddlement.
“I thought once I’d let myself go with you,” he dropped his other arm to grip my hip hard on that last word, “that the crazy lust that seems to fill my head whenever you’re around would die down some.
” He shook his head as if genuinely confused.
“But it hasn’t. I still can barely think from wanting you. ”
I almost laughed, because if he only knew.
“I can assure you that you’re not the only one with that problem.” I pushed off from the door and grabbed his hand as I moved back to the couch. “What are we going to do about this, Professor?”
Patrice’s face was serious as we got back on the couch, he sat back as I straddled his hips, my arms around his neck. He grabbed my ass and pressed me to him so that I could feel his hard cock against me. Like always with Patrice, everything else seemed to shrink to nothing if he was around.
I waited for his answer, as we rocked against each other, the need building with every movement, and still Patrice didn’t speak.
Finally, he pressed his face to my neck, and let out a long, weary breath. When he looked up, his eyes looked scared but determined.
“I want to be here, so I’m going to stay.” He didn’t say more, his body relaxing as he ran his hand over my back. I wanted to say so many things I knew I shouldn’t. In the end, I told him the one thing I was more certain of than anything else.
“I want you here, for as long as you do.”
Patrice
I walked into the kitchen of Nesto’s restaurant, completely certain the conversation was going to revolve around me and Easton.
It’s not like I hadn’t gotten a warning; he’d texted me last night after he left the penthouse, telling me to be ready for questions.
I was feeling so fucking good after last night that I might just answer them, too.
Easton filled places in me that I didn’t even know were empty, and now that I’d let myself actually feel that, I was loathe to let it go without a fight.
Before I left this morning we’d talked about his meeting with the sheriff’s department. I didn’t push him on what he would say, after all, Easton’s job was his job. So I’d wished him good luck on the trial preparations and went on my way.
Now I was here, certain that Nesto would not be happy until I spilled my guts about what I’d been doing at Easton’s last night.
But I wanted to check in about Ari and talk about the fundraiser a little more, so Nesto would have to deal.
I tried to focus on where I was going and said hello to Nesto’s staff as I passed.
I noticed Yin was standing by a ton of boxes, checking something off from a clipboard.
“Yin.”
He turned around and pushed up to give me a double kiss on the cheeks. I smiled as I obliged, thinking he must’ve picked that up from Ari. “How’s our boy doing?”
“He’s running some errands for Nesto, but he’s doing better. Talking to you really helped.”
Funny, because during that talk, the one that had dropped life-altering knowledge had definitely not been me.
Yin looked more relaxed though, so it seemed we’d all been able to move past the scare and stress from Saturday. He lifted his pen to the doors that led to the dining area, without me having to ask. “The boss is out there.”
I nodded in the direction he pointed and saw Nesto sitting at a table working on his computer. As soon as he saw me, he stood to give me dap.
“What’s good P?” The mischievous smile on his face told me I was not getting away with not talking about Easton. “You looking fly, man. Relaxed.”
He snapped that last word. This motherfucker really thought he was funny.
“You’re a lot less funny than you think you are,” I said, somehow managing to keep a straight face as I pulled a chair to sit across from him. “If you must know, I am feeling pretty good considering how fucking stressful shit got this weekend.”
Nesto’s expression sobered as soon as I said that. He rubbed his hand over his face before he answered. “Tell me about it, man. I swear I’m this close from getting in my truck and moving Ari out that fucking house. His uncle is up his ass constantly.”
I sighed, feeling tired already. “Easton got in touch with his friend who does immigration law and the guy got back to him last night. Ari told me I could give Easton the case details. The lawyer comes to Ithaca every week to work with a few clients and will set up a time to meet with Ari. So that’s handled.
” I felt a surge of pride then that Easton had followed through.
Nesto nodded at that. “I knew it. If anyone can get that worked out, it’ll be Easton. But seriously, tell me what was up with you guys last night.” His tone clearly stating that he knew what we’d been up to.
I ran my hand over my mouth, not wanting to say too much.
This shit with Easton was way too different and I didn’t feel like sharing.
Not in my usual, “There’s nothing to say, because I don’t care” type of way either.
I felt a little freaked out. Like I was so new at this, so bad at being with someone like I’d been with Easton last night, that somehow I’d ruin it.
“Yo, what’s up with you?”
I snapped my head up to find Nesto staring at me with a concerned expression. Something about the way he was looking at me, made me voice my worries out loud.
“Nes, I’m afraid I’m gonna fuck it up. I’m too closed off and Easton is so pure.” I closed my eyes, knowing I sounded ridiculous. “He doesn’t hide anything. He looks at me and I can see how bad I could hurt him. I don’t know if I’m built for this.”
Nesto’s hand slid across the table and he gripped my wrist hard.
His face as serious as I’d ever seen it.
“Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit, about you not knowing how to be a good man to the people that love you,” he said through gritted teeth.
“I swear to God, Patrice. I hear you on being afraid; all of this is scary as fuck.” He laughed then and looked around the dining area of his restaurant, taking it in as I noticed he did sometimes.
“We’re our ancestors’ wildest dreams, mi hermano,” he said, waving a hand between us. “You and I, we came here from both sides of that island with nothing. Not even the language. Our mothers and us, we busted our asses to have the lives we dreamed we could have.”
He was right, it had been a long, hard road.
Remembering those first years in school when I could barely understand what the teacher was saying, and I begged my mom to just let me stay home, still made me shudder.
But I’d done it, we’d done it. I was a college professor at an Ivy League school, for fuck’s sake.
It wasn’t that I thought I couldn’t do what was hard, it’s that I didn’t know if I had it in me to be the lover Easton deserved.
I pursed my lips, trying to find a way to explain.
“Yeah, but that we knew how to do, Nes; hustling is in our DNA. That was the plan from the moment we hit the ground here. Work, school, that was the script.” I pointed to the courthouse where I knew Easton must be preparing for his trial.
“I have no game plan for this. My mom was my father’s mistress, Nesto.
I only saw that man on his way in and out my mother’s bedroom a few times a week, for the little bit of time he was even around. ”
Nesto’s eyes darkened at my words and leaned in closer, his hand still tight around my forearm.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of, and neither does Odette for that matter. And I’m not here for any bullshit moralistic standards set by people who have no idea what our lives are like.
” He lifted a shoulder, as if to concede a point.
“It’s true, we didn’t see that at home, the parents loving on each other and all that shit.
Odette, Dinorah, my mom, it’s sad that they didn’t have more of that.
But they deserved it, and so do we. Now chill the fuck out before I call Milo and tell on you. ”
Fucker had to make me laugh when I was confessing my deepest and darkest fears.
“Ice cold, Ernesto. Ice cold.”
He stood up then and I did the same, knowing my friend would probably want to hug it out. I pulled him to me and tightened my arms around his shoulders.
“You’ll be fine, P.” Nesto’s voice was so certain when he said that; I almost believed him. I would never stop being grateful for the people I had in my life, who never failed to show me the kindness it was sometimes so hard for me to show myself.
One thing was certain. I may not have seen many examples of couples growing up, but I could not say I didn’t have men around me who knew how to show love.