Chapter 14 #2
I ran a hand over my forehead, ready to give an answer along the lines of “well I’m just doing my job” and then thought about the way he’d said it: “is” not “must be.” That distinction rocked me for a moment, because it was not very often that people in my life acknowledged that the pressure of this job sometimes could be paralyzing.
For once, I didn’t try to alleviate the other person’s worry, I just said it.
“It is a lot of pressure. We’ve worked our asses off, and prepared as much as we possibly can, but the jury ultimately decides. We have good witnesses, and the sheriff’s department did a really good job with the investigation part. So we’ll see.”
He ran his hand over mine before speaking, “I can’t imagine what having so much hanging on me would be like. No matter how I feel about the justice system, it is not an easy job that you have.” He then moved closer and asked in a low voice. “Any news about the sheriff?”
I shook my head and tried not to show the frustration I felt. After the meeting with Day, he’d followed up to let us know he’d “made it clear” to the deputies that they needed to be more careful, but there didn’t seem to be any real sign he was taking things further than that, at least for now.
There was only so much I could tell Patrice anyway, so I just shook my head. “No, not really. I’m sorry.” I meant that sincerely.
I worried that my answer would shift the mood of the evening but Patrice just nodded and ran his hand over mine again.
He gave me a tiny smile and when he spoke, his tone was intentionally gentle.
“I know this stuff is not all on you. I just want you to know that I’ve worked with some of the groups in town, and people are organizing for whenever it happens again. ”
My heart sped up then, worried for him, and once again feeling like we were making a huge mistake with our silence.
“Patrice.” I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to say, but he lifted his gaze to mine as if he was also thinking of how to say what was on his mind. I leaned closer, waiting for his answer, when a voice from behind startled me.
“Well, well, well, and here I was worried that I’d have to show my new colleague around. I guess he’s doing just fine.”
I pulled back to see who the voice belonged to, and when I glanced at Patrice, he was barely containing his annoyance.
I didn’t blame him; Brad Gunham was a piece of work.
We’d known each other since we were kids and had had one very underwhelming date when I was trying and failing to get Patrice out of my system, so I couldn’t exactly pretend I was blanking on who he was.
“Brad.” Patrice’s flat tone made it clear that though they might be colleagues, they were not friends.
While I was still trying to figure out where this was going, Brad leaned in and spoke very close to my ear, completely violating all personal space rules. “I haven’t heard from you in a while, Easton.”
I sat there wondering what exactly this guy thought he was doing.
We’d gone on one bad date that ended up in mediocre sex before we went our separate ways.
Why he thought he needed to come and talk to me when I was obviously with someone else was a mystery to me, especially given our history.
Which I really hoped did not come up tonight.
I leaned further back from him until I was flush against the bar before I spoke. “Brad, I’d make introductions, but you know Patrice.” I extended my hand, intentionally ignoring his comment.
When I turned, Patrice was sitting upright and sending a very unfriendly look in his colleague’s direction, then trained his eyes on the spot on my arm Brad was touching.
When he spoke, his voice was a barely restrained growl. “We work together.”
Brad’s smirk was condescending enough to make me want to smack it off. He gave his back to Patrice as he spoke.
“Oh Dr. Denis and I go way back; I was on his hiring committee. There was a lot of talk before we hired him, as there usually is when the department takes a big chance on a candidate.”
Before Patrice could answer, I stood up, grabbing our drinks. I was not going to let Brad get up to his usual shit stirring and ruin the dinner with Patrice that I’d been looking forward to all week.
I glared at him, my tone cold as ice. “I’m sure the pressure was high to make the best offer possible to Patrice, considering all the options he had.
” I looked over to the man in question and he was standing with his back against the wall, his face completely closed off.
Then I turned back to Brad. “We’re headed to our table, have a good evening. ”
I handed Patrice his drink and we started walking. Patrice muttered something that sounded a lot like a curse word and was at the table before I had taken two steps there.
When we sat down, his face showed the frustration that I was sure he’d held back at the bar.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said as I looked over and saw that Brad had already left, probably looking for someone else he could fuck with. “Brad is an ass.”
Patrice looked over in the direction that we’d been sitting, his gaze icy.
“Brad thinks he can talk to people however he wants.” He paused then and I could tell he was working on letting go of the annoyance of the last few minutes.
He took one breath, then another and lifted both shoulders as if to shed some of the tension there, the whole time his eyes trained on mine.
He opened his mouth to say something, but instead of saying whatever was on his mind, he did something he’d never done.
He reached across the table and grabbed my hands possessively.
His eyes locked with mine. “What bothers people like Brad is that I don’t take his bait.
He wants to get a rise out of me, so when I curse him out, he can point at me, say I’m trash, and that I don’t know how to act.
He knows I don’t give a fuck about him getting off on talking to me like I’m the help, and that just makes him look bad.
” It was clear he was not done talking about all the ways Brad pissed him off, and the way he was looking at me made me hold my breath.
“But if I see him pawing or talking to you like that again, I’m going to pop him in the mouth.
I don’t care what kind of influence he has in the department. ”
Oh shit, what was even happening in my chest right now. I breathed through my nose until I found words. Patrice Denis was going to ruin me. “I didn’t know you had such a possessive side, Dr. Denis.”
He dipped his chin, and his expression turned just a tiny bit bashful, but he answered with a flustered laugh. “I didn’t either.”
“Brad and I go way back. His parents were a power couple at Cornell, and my parents loved to have the local academia luminaries at their dinner parties.”
Patrice twisted his mouth to the side at that. “I don’t like the way he talked to you.”
I lifted a shoulder, aware of what he meant, the dismissive way in which Brad had talked about my job.
“For my parents, and some of their friends, my entire career choice is mystifying.” I made air quotes as I said the next part.
“Apparently, spending five years working on some of the toughest cases in the region is my cute way of getting people to ‘take me seriously.’ Even my mom, who at least tries to be supportive, just can’t see why I would do this instead of work for the winery. ”
His face became thunderous then. “Well that’s just bullshit. Don’t they read the news and see the cases you’re dealing with?”
He shook his head and there was a fluttering happening in my chest that I’d never particularly felt before.
“That shit’s not happening again on my watch.
” He looked so serious, and he sat there with his mouth closed, running his tongue over his teeth, as he came up with whatever he wanted to say.
But after a few breaths, he relaxed his shoulders and let go of my hand to grab a drink of his beer.
He’d said his piece. Something I was learning about Patrice was that he never said more than he had to, but whatever did come out his mouth was good as gold.
What he said, how incensed he was on my behalf, it made me want things that I knew very well I should not ask for. But I was still me. “Are you going to be my defender, Dr. Denis?” I was trying for humor, but even I could hear the yearning in my voice.
Patrice’s eyes took me in. Inch by inch, they moved over me with such intensity that I could swear my clothes were at risk of igniting. “I’m going to tell you what I see, if other people in your life can’t or won’t.”
There was danger for me here, I knew that. This was not territory I could tread into without serious risk to injury, but I never was one to heed trouble. “And what exactly do you see?”
“Someone worth me getting my shit together for.” It came out in a grumble, like he wasn’t even sure how he’d gotten there himself.
I laughed then and leaned over, deciding to kiss him after all. I pressed a quick kiss to his mouth, which he returned without hesitation. When I pulled back, I smiled at his serious expression. “You sound so agonized about it.”
He lifted a shoulder and looked at me, and I felt scared for a minute that what he would say next would hurt me. That we would blow off this moment and make it something less than what it had meant to me.
“I can be conflicted and still know I am where I’m supposed to be. I’m trying to learn how to make that work.”
They weren’t exactly lines from Romeo and Juliet, but they didn’t have to be, because I knew that Patrice Denis was braving unchartered territory, and he was doing it for me.