Chapter 19 #2
“Looks like the judge is reading the charges.” Ted was now behind my chair reading it, too.
His mouth twisted to the side when he saw some of the previous tweets about the latest traffic stop.
“The silence is deafening on this,” he muttered, eyes seemingly regretful, and I assumed it was because he knew about Easton and me.
But from the time I’d known Ted, I also knew he was not going to take it easy on me just because I was fucking one of the ADAs.
“They think people won’t notice because of the trial. Are you going to help out with the protest tomorrow?”
“Yeah, the director of the Ithaca Justice Project texted me this morning about it.” I was looking at my phone to see if there were any texts from Nesto—he always seemed to know the news before anyone else—when I heard Ted suck his teeth before a pretty astonished, “Holy shit, good for him,” came out of his mouth.
When I looked at the monitor, it was there in black and white.
Court Update: Jury convicts on all counts. Interim DA Easton Archer to run for DA in special election.
“What the fuck?” I said in genuine astonishment.
“You didn’t know about this?” Ted asked in a tone that brooked a very clear “I’m glad I’m not Easton.”
I lifted a shoulder and was about to say something offhanded when I saw a text come through on my phone.
Easton.
We got him on all counts. BTW Cindy made that announcement without my permission, I had no intention of committing to running. I still don’t.
The way my chest caved in with relief shouldn’t have surprised me.
This day needed to end because there was just way too much shit happening.
I needed to regroup and really think about what I was doing but fuck if I could be mad at Easton.
No, what I felt was not anger at all, there was almost something else there— pride and gladness.
I was proud of him for getting justice for that family, and after seeing him with the survivor’s mom on Friday, I knew it wasn’t just another win for him.
So when I responded, I went with my heart, not my head.
I’m proud of you, we can talk about the other news when I see you.
His response came seconds later.
Tonight?
I looked up and waved at Ted who was back- walking out of my office, pointing at the watch on his wrist, before texting Easton my response.
Tonight.
I thought about heading out, of going to the gym and exerting some of the pent-up anxious energy I was feeling on a grueling workout, but instead I grabbed my phone again and did something I rarely ever did. I called my mom.
She picked up after only two rings, probably freaked out thinking something bad had to have happened.
“Everything’s fine. Just calling to say hello.”
The hissing I heard on the line told me my mother was not buying my bald-faced lie. “So you just called your Manman because you miss me?” The snark in her voice made a smile break out on my face, even as I closed my eyes, unsure of how to broach the subject.
“I’ve been seeing someone.”
“Oh?” My mother had a gift for delivering an entire monologue in one syllable.
The unsaid, “you must be real pressed if you’re calling me for advice…” came through loud and clear.
“We’re too different.” My mother made a sound between exhaustion and sympathy at my outburst, but knew me well enough not to interrupt.
The next part I knew would get a reaction.
“He’s rich. His dad’s kind of racist,” I said, ruthlessly leaving out everything that made Easton the man I was falling in love with.
Because that was it, that’s what had me hesitating, trying to figure out how I could hold on to what I had with Easton for a bit longer, when with anyone else, I would’ve walked away long ago.
I could hide it from him, and even from my mother, but the weight of trying to hide it from myself was becoming impossibly heavy to carry.
“Uh huh,” my mother said knowingly. “So, now that I know all the things that are wrong with him, why don’t you tell me the reasons why you’re calling me to talk you out of letting him go.”
I groaned at her ability to see right through my bullshit. “Manman, he’s a prosecutor. It’s going to put us at odds, it already has.”
I heard tongue clicking and a tired exhale. “Is he a good man?”
“The best,” I said without hesitation.
“Patrice, son, why do you look for ways to cheat yourself? Don’t let my mistakes cost you your happiness.”
I sighed, starting to feel like calling my mother had been a mistake.
“I want to be happy Manman, but I won’t compromise what I believe in.”
There was more teeth sucking before she spoke again.
“Pitit, for once let yourself fully have something before you start finding ways to push it away. I am sure you have good reasons to hesitate, son, there is just so much that can go wrong when you open yourself up to someone like that. But you actually called me today to talk about him.” She laughed, sounding truly astonished.
“That’s never happened, and that means something. Does he make you happy?”
I shuddered out a breath as I thought of how Easton woke up smiling.
Before he even opened his eyes, the sides of his mouth would defiantly turn up, challenging the world to wipe it off his face.
I ran a hand over my eyes before I answered, bracing myself for what needed to be said. “I think I love him.”
My mom sighed at my revelation and when she spoke, I could hear the smile in her voice.
“Then you should try to find common ground, Patrice. If he loves you, that is worth fighting for. We have travelled such a long road since that day we left Port-au-Prince. Sometimes I can’t believe we’ve come so far.
” The wonder in her voice made my throat close up.
“My strong and brilliant son. You make me so proud, Patrice, my chest cannot take it.” Her accent thickened the more emotional she got and I knew tears were not far behind.
“I failed you—”
“No, Manman,” I protested.
“No, I did. When you told me about yourself, I thought of my own fears and not of yours. I was so worried about the world that I didn’t take care of your heart first. But I don’t ever want you to think that you don’t deserve to fall in love, to be cherished. Let yourself at least try.”
I didn’t know how much I needed to hear those words from my mother until she said them, and the emotion in her voice made me think she’d needed to say them, too. “Okay. I will,” I said, wanting to believe I could.
After we ended the call, I sat there thinking about my mother’s words, how she urged me to give what I had with Easton a try. I looked at my messages again and saw Easton had left one for me.
See you at home.
I could either walk away from that promise or for the first time ever, let my heart override my head.