Chapter 10
chapter ten
juan pablo
I knew I had Priscilla on pins and needles with my new vibe, and I wasn’t going to lie, it felt good to know she could see it. That she noticed there was a change in me. Because I’d been wondering if it was only obvious to me. That all this shit I’d been working on hadn’t made a difference.
Before heading out, we walked to one of the tables where Patrice and Easton were also getting ready to call it a night. Camilo and Tom had left hours ago, since they were flying out first thing to start on their honeymoon in Greece.
On a whim, I grabbed a water bottle and a couple of the tiny champagnes from one of the huge ice buckets that were placed all around the reception area. Once Priscilla had her gauzy shoulder wrap and small bag in hand, we headed to the beach.
“So, what is this mid-thirties crisis thing about?” I asked as we walked out onto the sandy beach, the grains soft and still warm under our feet. Remnants from the sunny day.
Priscilla sighed and wrapped the sheer fabric around her shoulders.
That thing didn’t look like it would do anything to keep her warm and I wished I had a jacket or something to give her.
The breeze from the ocean had picked up with a vengeance now that it was more early morning than late at night. “It’s just work-related bullshit.”
“The Inwood precinct isn’t working out? I thought you liked it there.”
She gave me a curious look and I realized she hadn’t said this to me. I’d heard it through my mother, who heard it from the Dominican News Network, as Nesto always called it.
“My mom said you’d come by to talk to Papi after you took the job. She mentioned you seemed happy.”
She pursed her lips but her dark brown eyes had a glint of humor in them. “Our parents are serious busybodies, damn.”
I laughed at her stank face. “True.”
When we passed one of the covered cabanas on the beach, she stopped and jerked her head in its direction. “You want to go in there? I’m freezing.”
I didn’t answer, just followed her into one.
The cabanas in this place were seriously pimped out.
There was a huge double chaise with a small stack of towels on a shelf to the side.
It was dark as fuck inside, but we both had our phones with us, and with the help of the flashlight app, got situated.
Pris draped a couple of the towels over herself like blankets and one over her shoulders.
Once she was settled in, she put her head back and let out a long sigh. “This wedding was bomb, but fuck, I’m tired.”
I grunted in agreement as I arranged the three small bottles between us.
“You up for some bubbly or you want water?” She looked down at our beverage bounty and smiled.
The smile she always had when she was pleased by something or someone.
It was just a turning up of her lips, but her eyes went liquid with warmth. I’d missed that smile most of all.
I’d placed my phone in between us with the flashlight on and could see her face half cast in shadow.
I spent a moment looking at the lines of her face.
Her long neck and the way her skin seemed to be glowing in this light.
Her makeup was not perfect at this time of the night.
The humidity making her a little shiny, and her deep red lipstick had worn off after hours of food and drink.
She looked like she’d had a long night of fun and she was still, as always, perfectly kissable. I swallowed hard and lifted the beverage offerings to her.
She grabbed them both, first taking a few gulps of the water and then cracking open the little champagne bottle. I did the same and we clinked them together, saying “to Camilo and Thomas” almost at the same time.
She took a long sip and sighed again, and I debated on what to do. There was so much to say. There was so much to do. But a lot of those things were about me, and what I wanted. I’d promised myself that if I ever got the chance to do so again, I’d give her my full attention.
“So what’s up with the job?”
She laughed, shaking her head at me. “Damn, Juan Pablo, you really are a changed man. You’re actually volunteering to hear people whine about their job?”
Okay that stung a little, because even though I could be a little impatient about people’s drama, I wasn’t a total asshole. I could go into my feelings about this, turn her comment into a thing, or I could just keep the focus on her.
“I always want to hear about you, and that will never change.” She looked a little reluctant, like she didn’t know what to do with this new version of me, but it was true. It felt good to look her in the eye when I said that.
“Okay.” She sounded only slightly suspicious, which I guess was an improvement.
“It’s not even that it’s bad. This new captain is pretty good and I like working with her.
The rest of the team, even though it’s mostly guys, is decent enough.
” She slumped and I could feel the weariness radiating from her.
“I’m just tired of the politics and educating people that should know better. ”
I didn’t know what to say. My job was pretty straightforward.
I mean yes, I dealt with some bullshit for sure.
There was a whole lot of toxic masculinity and entitlement in that clubhouse.
Sure, a lot of the players were Latinx or black but the guys sitting in the executive suites were…
not. It made for weird moments. However, I rarely dealt with that.
I had a job to do and I did it. And for the most part I got along with everyone.
“I can’t say that I’d have a lot of patience for politics, and you’ve been fighting your way up the ranks for ten years now. I can only imagine that shit’s gotten old for you. Do you like the work at least?”
She lifted a shoulder, obviously trying not to be super down on things but barely succeeding. “I did.”
The dimness in her smile told me the love she’d had for the job in those first few years was no longer there, or it was nowhere near as strong.
I hated the idea of Priscilla’s fire being snuffed out by politics and bullshit.
Most of the time with Pris, I could sense where she hurt and where I could make things better.
Tonight I had to remind myself I no longer had a right to any of those places.
I’d talked and fought my way out of being the person she came to for comfort.
“I don’t think I can handle I told you so’s right now.” I could hear she was wary of what I would say. She thought I would go back to old arguments and disagreements to hurt her, and in the past, I probably would have.
“I have fucked up in so many ways when it comes to us, but I really hate myself for saying things that would make you think I care more about being right than seeing you happy.”
She took in a breath and let it out slowly, eyes still locked on mine. “You’re different, J.”
I shrugged, not wanting to make any of this about me, but something in my chest loosened from her words. Unbidden and completely unfiltered, the words came out of my mouth before I could do anything to stop them.
“You looked beautiful today.” I did something halfway between a cringe and shrug.
“You always do, but with the sun in your hair and little bit of a flush you get when you feel like crying but you really don’t want to…
” She bit her lip, trying not to laugh and my head swam from how much I wanted her.
I let it hang for a moment and in the way her chest moved, fast and a little erratic, I saw that the moment had turned for her, too.
In this dark little corner of the Caribbean with white sand under our feet and the ocean breeze serenading us, I wished we were still Pris and J from high school, from college, from even two years ago.
Again, my mouth was faster than my head. “I miss kissing you.”
Pris’s breath caught and fuck, I wanted to, but I wouldn’t make a move. I would not encroach on the space she asked for. I would not be the one to break the promise. I was practically vibrating as I waited for her to say something, to ask for what she wanted.
“J.” The way she said that made me feel like I was on fire. I’d missed how just the first letter of my name could sound so fucking hot slipping from her lips.
We both reached out at the same time, mouths crashing together, chests heaving and hands hot on each other.
“Fuck.” I wasn’t sure if it was regret or it was rapture, but tasting Priscilla felt like my entire life was realigning. Like all the things that had gone old and stale shone again.
I kissed her hard and, as always, she gave it all back to me. Hot, hungry. Lips nipping, mouth open and I couldn’t hold it in. I could almost smell her.
“Are we blaming this on post-wedding haze?”
I was so caught up in all the places I wanted to get to on her body that I almost missed the question. When I pulled back, again I could see the vulnerability in her eyes. It hit me hard to know that she thought wherever this was going could hurt her.
I lifted my hands off her and tried to get myself under control. I didn’t ever want to be one of the things that Priscilla regretted. Not again.
I didn’t want to say it, but I made myself do it. “Why don’t I walk you to your room? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” I was more stating a fact than asking a question, and no matter how much my dick was going to hate me later, I was glad I said it.
She looked at me for a long moment without answering, her gaze scrutinizing me, as if she was looking for the answer to my question somewhere on my face.
Like I’d just turned into a puzzle she was set on solving.
I always forgot the way Priscilla could make my skin feel like I was on fire.
Like my lust was a tornado swirling inside, powerful enough to lift me clear off my feet.
“I missed kissing you, too, J, and I was lying.”
My heart thumped in my chest, because we never did this. Heartfelt and earnest was not us. We were usually too busy slaking whatever thirst we’d built for each other to think about feelings or consequences.
“I don’t need a wedding haze excuse to want you.”