Chapter 25 #2
Rose grimaced, thinking of what Clotaire knew about her that she didn’t dare reveal.
“I’d rather not refer to him as my father anymore.
I’m struggling to understand Clotaire. All of this has turned my world upside down, but one thing I’m coming to terms with is that he never really loved me or truly saw me as a person, for a variety of reasons.
As you always said, I was a doll to him, to dress up and bejewel, a vehicle for his ambition, and so is Thorn, in her role.
I don’t think either of us truly exist as actual people for him. ”
“I’m sorry. That must be very difficult for you,” Sebastien said, studying her and absently stroking Bunny’s ears. The scáthcú had wandered back over to lean his chin on Sebastien’s knee, Nonna on the other side, just as had been Nina and Nonna’s habit. The sight both hurt her heart and pleased it.
She nodded, feeling stiff and remote, tangling her fingers in her skirts. “I’m coping.”
He smiled, almost ruefully. “You always do. It’s one of the things I most admire about you.”
Rose kind of smiled back, feeling mostly pained. Yes, she always coped, and no one worried about her.
“And Clotaire plans to take Thorn from one cozy prison to another, using her like livestock,” Sebastien commented almost idly, but Rose could hear the simmering rage beneath. And the passionate feelings he bore for her sister that he could never feel for her.
“How is Thorn?” she asked. She had been unkind in her anger and personal tumult. Probably she should have gone to see her twin and tell her all of this already.
“She is … coping,” he answered. “I mean, she’s holding up, though it’s also hard for her. You’ve met her. She’s scarred and lonely. I only wanted to break her free of the cottage and Jada’s grip.”
“Was Jada there?”
“No, but I was worried she’d return and punish Thorn. She did the most horrible things to her, all these years.”
“I know.”
“So, you talked to Thorn.” He ventured it almost as a question. “I wasn’t sure how you would have reacted to discovering her existence. I worried that you—”
He broke off and Rose raised her brows, hurt and offended in one.
“What?” she demanded. “You worried that I’d been unkind to her?
That I wouldn’t take the time to listen my own sister’s story, that I wouldn’t sympathize with her, after all she’s suffered and the way she’s been terrorized while I lived like a queen, single-mindedly pursuing my ambitions?
Ambitions, by the way, that I’ve discovered aren’t really mine at all but meticulously planted and nurtured in me my entire life by a man who seeks only to use me?
You thought I wouldn’t look at Thorn and know that, but for a twist of chance, her fate could have been mine?
That I wouldn’t feel guilty and terrible and broken and that I haven’t been seeking every possible path to do what’s best for Thorn, knowing I can never ever make any of it up to her?
” She finished on a ragged breath, one that in a human might have been close to a sob.
To his credit, Sebastien looked abashed, but he also nodded.
“You’re right. I should have known you’d be good to her.
I’m not thinking straight. I know it seems crazy and sudden but …
I might be in love with her.” He met her gaze steadily, no caginess in his eyes, no courtly charm or seductive deflection. Simple, raw honesty.
“It’s sudden, but not crazy,” she told him. “She’s suited to you. You know, she found your belt buckle a long time ago and…” She trailed off because he was nodding.
“She told me. And, bizarrely enough, I found one of her chickens.”
“Her chickens,” Rose repeated blankly.
“Esmerelda.”
“Esmerelda?”
“A fancy name for a chicken, I agree, but she’s a fancy chicken.” He said it with a straight face, but his lips twitched. A chuckle escaped. “Thorn names all of her chickens.”
Rose burst out laughing. “Of course she does,” she gasped out, collapsing in the other chair. Nonna came over for exclusive ear-rubbing, and Rose obliged. “I don’t know why that was so funny.”
“It’s laugh or cry,” Sebastien said on a sigh, holding out his hand. They linked fingers loosely, as was sometimes their habit.
She still liked his touch. Sebastien, her friend.
“I don’t know what to do, Rose.”
“I think I do. I’m still working out the details, but … Maybe you should marry Thorn instead of me.”
He gave her a startled look. “For real?”
“Yes.” She nearly laughed again. “If she feels about you the way I think she might, then you two could get married, for real. I know you haven’t known each other long, but…”
“But you and I haven’t known each other for more than a few months and I proposed to you. Time is pressing us.” He looked thoughtful. “I wonder if she’d say yes?”
“What girl wouldn’t leap at the chance to be a princess and your bride?”
“You,” he pointed out drily.
She nearly flushed in chagrin, biting back the explanation that she wasn’t human and therefore he couldn’t judge by her reactions. “If Thorn agreed, it would be one way to foil Clotaire’s plan. You could keep her from going to simply another prison.”
“Could she handle being court sorceress, though? Or would you do that and we’d explain that you’re twins?”
She was already shaking her head. “No one else can know there are two of us. Promise me that, Sebastien.”
“I would never hurt you, Rose. Not like that.”
“Thank you. Thorn can be court sorceress. She has the power; she just needs to be taught. You can find ways to do that. Clotaire has some initial tutors lined up to handle the basics. We’ll go along with that.
Then, once Thorn is your bride, she can learn and practice in secret.
It won’t take her long. She’s immensely talented. ”
“Marry Thorn,” he mused.
“After all, you already have the ring,” she pointed out lightly.
“I couldn’t give her that ring.”
“Why not? It’s a beautiful ring. It was extraordinarily thoughtful, the way you chose it and why. You should give it to Thorn.”
He glanced at her, surprised. “You think so?”
“I think she’ll like it,” Rose said slowly. “I won’t pretend to know anything about love, but I think you two can build it together.”
“And you, Rose?” he asked in a soft voice. “What would you do? Thorn would take your place in all ways. You’d be sacrificing everything for us.”
Laughing a little, she shook her head. “No earthly clue.”
“I think it might come down to what you want to do, Rose, by the sound of it,” Sebastien said gravely.
She nodded reluctantly. “Maybe so.”
“You know that Thorn and I will want you happy. Whatever you decide, we’ll support you.”
“Thank you,” Rose whispered, surprised by the surge of emotion at his words.
He squeezed her hand and then dropped it. “Friends forever. You have been one of the best parts of my life, Rose. I’ll never forget that. I am always here for you, even if you don’t need rescuing.”
She smiled ruefully. She felt in need of rescue at the moment, but couldn’t think of anyone who could help her.
“Then it’s settled. We’ll appear to go along with Clotaire’s plan.
Once Thorn has signed the contract—and hopefully married you—I’m going to deal with Clotaire so he can’t betray or manipulate any of us.
He’ll be punished for what he did to Thorn. ”
“He hurt you, too,” Sebastien said with steady intent. His face was subtly older now, with a kind of hardened determination. “Clotaire deserves to suffer for that, too.”
“Oh, he will.” Rose wasn’t sure how or when, but she would find a way. “He will.”