Chapter Nine
TILLIE
A sharp, relentless chime slices through the quiet, forcefully waking me from my peaceful sleep.
My heart races as I bolt upright in my dark room while trying to gather my bearings as to what’s happening.
After a moment of looking around the darkened room, I remember I am meeting Ryan before dawn for a sunrise breakfast.
I turn to my bedside table, where my cell is vibrating and flashing brightly with the alarm sounding.
Yawning, I move over and turn it off, pushing back the covers.
My body is heavy with sleep as I throw my legs over the edge, but I know I need to get going.
After flicking on the side light, I hurry about getting dressed for the day, not only to impress Ryan but also for a day of work.
I say my goodbyes to Piper and Hunter, then head out the door with an empty stomach and a lack of much-needed caffeine. It’s hard to keep functioning without my morning cup of Joe, but I manage to make it all the way to the office without running a red light or being honked at.
I can’t help but wonder what I’m going to find when I step out of my car and head for the office block.
My stomach is flipping on itself, and I honestly haven’t felt this nervous about anything in years.
I unlock the main door and head inside, making my way straight toward the fire escape where Ryan told me to meet him.
The lights are mostly out, so it’s dark everywhere I go.
It gives the building I know so well an eerie feeling, making me even more nervous.
Reaching the door, I head up the steps and onto the roof. My smile lights my face when I see little lanterns lighting a path to the edge of the roof, where blankets are set out. Little pots of various blooming flowers are sporadically placed, helping to give the rooftop garden more impact.
My grin is broad as I walk the path to the edge, where a banquet of pastries, fruit, and juice is sitting there, waiting to be devoured.
The whole vibe is chic picnic and incredibly romantic.
I check around to see if Ryan is here, but I can’t find him.
So I sit on the blanket, gazing out into the darkness of the crisp morning, lit only by the dull hue of the lanterns.
The fire escape door opens, and the strumming of a guitar causes me to turn to Ryan, who’s walking toward me. A smile pulls on my lips as he plays—he’s so gifted on that thing. Then he opens his mouth, and his deep tenor fills the air.
“The day you came into my life,
I knew it would never be the same,
It turned upside down,
But I’m so glad you came.”
“I never thought this could work,
And I still don’t know,
But I guess we could try,
And give this a go.”
“I’ve been a fool for so long, but I need you to know,
I’m not that fool anymore,
I’m just a fool for you,
I’m just a fool for you.”
“My life is a mess, a world of chaos and music,
But if there’s one thing I know,
is that one person can fix it.”
“I think you might be that girl,
And I swear that it’s true,
The only woman I can think of right now,
is you.”
“I’ve been a fool for so long, but I need you to know,
I’m not that fool anymore,
I’m just a fool for you,
I’m just a fool for you.”
He continues with one more verse, and as I listen to the words, I know he’s singing it for me.
Ryan is super talented, and as he serenades me with these amazing lyrics, my thighs clench together, barely dulling the throbbing as he saunters toward me.
My chest rises and falls quickly, completely entranced by his song.
Staring at him, my smile is so wide I must look like a fool for him too.
He stands next to me and finishes, then places his guitar on the step.
I clap while he kneels next to me. Then, rushing forward with excitement, I thrust my arms around his neck and hug him with so much force that he falls backward onto the blanket.
The momentum pushes me to drop on top of him, and he lands with an “oomph” as we both quietly laugh, my body pressing against his entirely.
His hand rises and moves a small strand of my hair behind my ear, and I look down into his eyes, which sends a tingle straight down my spine.
Our breathing is ragged as we continue to stare at each other.
I inadvertently lick my lips as his hand moves from my cheek to the back of my head, his fingers threading through my hair.
Unexpectedly, he grasps my head, forcing me forward, surprising me as our lips crash together. My eyes open wide as all air is pulled from my lungs and a current so powerful filters through me, sparking everything to life.
Ryan’s tongue slips into my mouth, and I moan, closing my eyes, finally surrendering to the kiss I was not expecting.
His fingers intertwine through my hair as I brace myself with my hands on either side of his head.
When his other hand runs down my back to the top of my ass, and he pushes his crotch into my pussy, showing me his obvious erection, my breath catches.
We both groan into each other’s mouths as I grind against his cock, needing to ease the pressure.
Abruptly, he spins us, and I’m on my back, with him on top of me.
My legs wrap around his waist while he grinds into me.
Gasping with delight, his tongue dances with mine when he moves against me slowly.
This is rapidly becoming hot and serious.
My hands run up into his hair, holding his head to mine while kissing him feverishly.
It’s intense. The chemistry is incredible and undeniable.
Every part of me feels alive as he crushes into me again.
The ache in my throbbing clit is almost unbearable as he pushes again, and I swear if he keeps doing that, I might come from the intense pressure of his hard cock.
The kiss deepens, and I moan.
But suddenly he pulls back, breaking the kiss and halting his movements as he looks deep into my eyes. His gaze is hooded and full of lust.
He pants hard as we both fight for breath, and he smirks, shaking his head. “Fuck! Sorry! I have to stop, or I won’t be able to.”
I nip my bottom lip and grin in understanding. We were getting hot and heavy, and it’s only our first kiss.
We need to slow down.
“Some first kiss, though,” he says.
“Yeah… some first kiss.” I giggle in agreement.
He leans in, slowly pressing his lips to mine again briefly, then pulls back and slides his body off mine, sitting back on his heels. “I’ve been waiting to do that since I first saw you.” He smiles and looks past me to where the sun is rising.
Ryan moves in behind me as I sit up, wrapping his legs on either side of me and sliding his arms around my waist as his head nuzzles on my shoulder. “This is nice,” he says.
“It really is. It’s nice to not have you pranking me. Wait! Is this a prank?” I ask, turning my head to look at him.
He chuckles. “No, this is real. Now watch the sun rise.” Ryan leans in and kisses my cheek.
“Yes, sir.”
The sun rises over the hills in an endless array of vibrant hues.
It’s a magnificent sight as the sky is filled with a powerful glow, splashing the clouds with its unending rays of beautiful sun-drenched color.
My stomach is a swarm of giddy butterflies as Ryan holds me tightly in his embrace, mesmerized by Mother Nature.
It’s so lovely to be on the same page finally.
I just wonder what all this means for us now.
Where do we stand?
Are we a couple?
Do we tell people that we are a couple?
I have so many questions, but I don’t want to spoil the mood of the moment. The main one being, what changed? After the two ‘almost’ kisses, I was starting to believe this was one-sided. But based on this kiss, I was definitely wrong.
Ryan kisses under my ear, making me smile. I like this side of him, and I could get used to it quickly. He exhales as the sun finally rises, and the orange fades into yellow, and the yellow fades finally to blue. The day has dawned, and the sunrise is officially over.
“That was beautiful,” I say.
He nods against my shoulder. “Yeah, it sure was. All the better with you being here. It’s so lonely when I do it on my own.”
I turn to face him. “You come up here on your own?”
“Sometimes. Not often. I think I’ve seen the sunrise up here twice… three times now.”
I smile and tilt my head. “Well, thank you for inviting me.”
“My pleasure. Right, shall we eat?”
I look down at the food on the platters and nod in delight as my stomach growls.
A warm, gentle laugh escapes him, soft and genuine as he hands me a croissant.
“Thank you.” I take a bite and look down at the blanket, wondering if we’re going to talk about us at all.
Ryan exhales, takes a sip of some juice, and crosses his legs, sitting up taller. “So, I guess we have to talk about where we go from here?”
Glancing back up, I swallow my mouthful and half-smile, not sure if I’m excited or terrified by the prospect of the conversation that’s about to take place. So I simply nod.
“Tillie, I want to be honest with you.”
Oh God!
“I like you, and it scares me, but I’ve finally admitted to myself that I actually like you.
” I smile but let him keep talking. “The thing is, I’m not sure I’m ready to go public with anything massive just yet.
I want to see where this can go. So, if you’re okay with it, I’d like to keep it just between us for now while we figure out what we are. I don’t want to rush anything.”
Swallowing hard, I take a second to process.
He wants to be with me, just not publicly.
I take a deep breath. From a publicist angle, I see where he’s coming from.
I would probably say the same thing, but not telling the band and our families, well, that’s a little different.
It makes me feel like he might be ashamed of me, but I’m not sure if that’s the case or if he doesn’t want the other members of the band to get angry at him.
After all, I do work for them, and if things go south, then it could be bad, and they would be pissed.
So I can see why he wouldn’t want them to know.
“I’m fine going slow. I want to get to know you, the real you. But I need to ask. What changed?”
He smiles wide, taking my hands in his. “I can deal with that. As for what changed… I’m tired of fighting whatever this is, and you deserve better. A woman like you deserves to know where they stand.”
“Okay. Just so I’m clear, we’re going to try this, you and me, but no one knows?”
“Yeah, and it’s not because I want to keep you as a dirty secret. It’s more that this is new to me, and I can’t promise I won’t be a mess at times or that I won’t screw up. Because Tillie, I am a wreck. But I’m hoping you’ll put me back together.”
I’m not sure what’s happened in his life that made him think he’s a mess.
Yes, he’s a little left of center and has stories he hasn’t told me, but I’m hoping that with time, he’ll let me in.
I considered Googling him—just a quick search for some background—but I stopped myself.
If he wants me to know about his past, I’d rather hear it from him when he’s ready.
“I’m here for you, and I want to be your safe place. Because even though you treated me like crap, I like you too.”
He furrows his brows. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“It’s forgotten. Boys always treat the girl they like a little meanly to start with.”
He laughs, picking up an apple and taking a bite.