Chapter Twenty-Two
RYAN
“His hand is moving. I think he’s waking up. Ryan, baby, are you with me?”
The persistent beeping is back, but now, muffled voices compete to be heard. I hear Tillie’s sweet voice, and every time I listen to her, the darkness lifts slightly.
Her voice is like that of an angel, and I want to go to her, so I push and break through the black barrier to get to her.
My eyes flicker open to bright lights and a thick haze.
“Ryan, hey, I’m right here. Stay with me.” Her voice is like heaven, and I squint, searching for her. As I try to focus, her beautiful face comes into view a little more clearly.
Her glasses are off, and her eyes are red and puffy as if she’s been crying.
It breaks my heart.
“Hey,” I murmur, and she bursts into tears.
“Hey,” she muffles back, caressing my face gently.
“Did they get her?” I ask.
Oliver comes over and nods. “They found out she was the online stalker. The one going by the name #Hunter’sGirl.
They raided her house, and in her basement was a darkroom with thousands of photos of you and Tillie.
Most of them had Tillie’s face cut out, and Cadence photo-shopped her face in place.
She tried to kill Tillie, so you could ‘be together.’ ” He uses finger quotes.
“That’s fucking crazy,” I murmur.
“She’s in for a psych evaluation now, but she’s going to be charged with attempted murder.”
“Are you okay?” I ask, looking at Tillie.
“You got stabbed in the liver, and you’re asking if I’m okay?”
“In the liver?” I ask.
Danger steps up to the bed. “Yeah, the doctor says it just grazed it, which caused an internal bleed or some shit. They fixed you up, and you’re gonna be fine.
He says it’s lucky you’re on a health kick, ’cause if it affected your liver the way it was a couple of months ago, you could be very sick right now,” he says with a wince.
I’ve never seen Danger look so worried.
“Lucky I’m looking so damn good then,” I say with a soft laugh, but then I wince from the pain. “How long am I in recovery for?”
A nurse walks in, and we all look at her as I ask.
“I can probably fill you in a bit better. You were in surgery for six hours, and the surgeon had to do a partial lobe removal of a small section of the damaged part of your liver. Don’t worry, it will grow back.
You’ll be convalescing for about five to ten days, and then you’ll need to take it easy for eight to twelve weeks. ”
“Okay, thanks,” I say as she checks over the machines hooked up to me.
“You’re welcome. We’re glad you’re awake,” she says.
“So am I.” Tillie tightens her hand in mine. I look at her and smile through the fog. “When I saw her lunging at you with the knife, Tillie…” I shake my head and sigh, trying to remove the ugly image that’s etched in my brain.
“You should have let her get me. You’re far more important to the world than I am. If you’d have died, I…” She pauses as her bottom lip trembles, and the others slowly filter out of the room, obviously giving us some space.
“You say I’m more important to the world, but you’re more important in my world, Tillie. There was no way I would let her hurt you. No way.”
“Why have you been so distant?” she asks.
I tense up, clenching my eyes.
Can I tell her?
No, I’m still not ready.
You’d think after something like this, I’d have the strength to open up.
But if anything, it’s holding me back even more.
Why? I’m not sure.
Tillie deserves to know.
She should know.
But I can’t…
Goddammit!
“Tillie, I’m exhausted. I’m not really sure what I’m saying.”
She nods and caresses my cheek. “Of course. The painkillers will make you woozy. Rest. We have plenty of time.”
Taking a deep breath, I sigh and close my eyes, welcoming sleep.
TILLIE
Ryan drifts back to sleep, and I let his hand go, moving to sit back down in the armchair.
I want to know what happened with Mel and who the hell Katie is, but I don’t want to push, especially while he’s recovering and has only just woken up.
So, I’ll bide my time and ask again when the time is right.
Lunar sticks her head through the doorway and quirks a smile. “You okay?”
“Yeah, a little confused,” I murmur back, glancing at Ryan to see if he’s actually asleep.
She sighs, stepping into the room further. “These rockers tend to do that to you. Need a shoulder?”
I exhale, taking another quick glance at Ryan. There’s no movement, so I look back to Lunar. “Have you been able to find out who Katie is?” I whisper in case Ryan’s pretending to be asleep, but he doesn’t move at my question, and Lunar purses her lips and shrugs.
“Nope. Danger hasn’t said… why?”
I slump into my seat. “She’s a part of Ryan’s past. A big one. But I don’t know in what way.”
“An ex?” Lunar asks.
“Probably.” I shrug.
“Are you worried about her coming back?”
“No, nothing like that. It’s just… it’s just he shuts down when she’s mentioned. I think she really did a number on him.”
Lunar looks at Ryan and nods. “Could be why he’s been so anti-girlfriend… until you.”
“But then, why me?”
She tilts her head and smiles. “ ’Cause you fight him and didn’t throw yourself at him like a groupie. Plus, you like Ryan for who he is, not for his status. He saw that. He knows how rare chicks like you are.”
“I just hope one day he has the courage to tell me about her.”
“I’m sure he will, but don’t push. That will make him close up even more.”
Nodding, I swallow and sink into the chair as she sits down next to me.
“You guys will be fine. You have to be. I need a couple to double date with.”
Giggling, I nod and pull my cell out to check on the feeds and updates on Ryan’s well-wishes.
One Week Later
We’re finally taking Ryan home, and he’s looking good, albeit tender and sore. I’m going to be staying at his place to help Lunar and Danger look after him. Roxie said she didn’t mind pet-sitting for a little while longer.
So now we’re at the house, Lunar’s cooking a healthy dinner while I lie in bed next to him, cuddled into his side.
“Thank you,” he says out of nowhere.
“What for?”
“Just for being here. For being you.”
I push up, looking down at him, careful not to lean on his chest. “Of course, I’d be here, Ryan. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Glad to hear it. Now kiss me. I miss your lips.”
“I kissed you this morning.”
“I mean a real kiss, Tillie… tongues thrashing, heavy moaning, a hair-pulling type of kiss.”
My thighs pull tighter at the thought. “How ’bout a compromise? Tongues thrashing and moaning, sure, but no physical exertion. You’re still recovering, Ryan.”
“Okay, fine.” His hand comes up and wraps around the back of my head into my hair, pulling my head down to meet his.
I hold my body up so I don’t put any weight on him as my lips crash against his mouth, and we kiss passionately for the first time in over two weeks.
Only been a week since the incident, but the week before, we had the repercussions of running into Mel, who I still don’t understand how she fits in.
In this moment, I feel like we’re back on track.
It was hard to tell in the hospital because there were always other people around, but now we’re alone and together, at last, things feel different. Regardless of the unspoken past, I can feel his love for me oozing from his pores, and for now, it’s enough.
I feel like this is where I’m meant to be.
In his arms, kissing him is my safe place.
My haven.
My home.