Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jon
I watched Kitty’s eyelids flutter close as she drifted off to sleep. She was turned toward me, her fingers a lightly curled fist she rested on my chest. I stroked her back, listening to her breathing deepen. A small smile played across her lips; her face soft in repose. I let my hands settle on her back, the other on her waist, and I leaned back against the pillows.
This was more than I had ever hoped. A complete surprise. When I had licked her neck during our mating, I knew she was mine. My mate.
But would she ever accept me? We were two very different species. There were so many cultural differences that I could not wrap my mind around them all.
I sighed, staring up at the ceiling as my thoughts raced. The dimming light of the day told me I had only a few hours left before the transportal would close. There was no question in my mind that I had to leave. I could not stay here .
I smoothed the curl back from Kitty’s face, and she snuggled into me closer. A deep warmth spreading through my chest. I turned my head, dropping my nose to her neck and breathing in deeply. There was nothing to stop me from tasting her skin and branding her with my bite.
No. Not without her full consent. The thought of claiming her without her knowledge was abhorrent.
I could feel the press of time, but these moments were so precious to me I stayed with her in my arms. The fading light cast shadows across the room. There were pictures on the walls that I had not noticed, being so focused on Kitty. They were photos of people, and one of Kitty as a small child caught my eye. I smiled, thinking of her as a youngling. Would she have been shy? Adventurous? Challenging?
The image of a little girl with her curly brown hair, my purple skin, and a tail popped into my head. My breath caught. The picture was so real to me, and I wondered if it was a premonition. Our child?
My stomach flip-flopped. That was enough wondering.
I couldn’t ask her to come with me. It was too much. To leave her planet, a pre-spaceflight planet? No. How could she ever cope with all the differences between us?
What if she regretted it and I couldn’t return her to her home? The problem with transportals, and why they were banned from use, was because they were unsafe to use. You could program in the destination, and you would arrive, but there was no guarantee of when. Space and time were fickle things, as my ancestors had discovered. The only guarantee we had secured was the return window when testing the transportals. The window would be kept open, and the return trip would take place only minutes from the original departure, even if it had been the equivalent of years on the destination planet.
Consequently, space and time travel in such a manner was only for the desperate or foolish. And I would not subject my mate to such vagaries of fate.
What if she came with me and didn’t want to stay? I couldn’t send her back knowing that she could arrive hundreds of years in the past or future.
If she left with me, it would be permanent. There would be no coming back. And that was a decision not to be made lightly.
And if I waited, I would miss the return window and the future I had worked so hard to guarantee on the exile planet.
A future without my mate.
I sighed, looking down at Kitty, her face peaceful as she slept.
I knew she was my mate. There was no doubt in my mind. But what if humans didn’t feel the mate bond the way Gnaggarrians did? To find her and not claim her was painful, but to claim her and have her reject me? That would be horrendous. I wasn’t sure I would recover from that.
Like you won’t recover from leaving her behind?
I slid my arm out from underneath Kitty, being careful not to wake her, and slipped from the bed. I quickly dressed and padded on bare feet toward the kitchen. I paused in the doorway to the living room, my eyes roaming over the tree we had decorated together.
Maybe we could share our traditions? We could build a life together by blending my Gnaggarrian and Kitty’s human ways.
I shook my head, dragging my eyes away from the Christmas tree, and turning into the kitchen .
You know better than to hope.
I stared around the warm, inviting room, trying to commit everything to memory. This was where Kitty had shown me acceptance, in a way that I’d never known. I was a Gnaggarrian of almost the lowest rank possible, so to have a woman of her beauty and kindness show me any attention was unheard of. I had resigned myself long ago to spending my life alone, but now that I’d had a taste of what could be?
I shook my head.
I walked toward the door to the outside, hesitating with my hand on the handle. I turned to look back toward Kitty’s bedroom where she slept, undecided if I should leave without saying goodbye.
Undecided if I should leave at all.
But there was no life for me on this planet. Shoulders stiffening, I turned the handle and stepped out into the cool night air.
Darkness had fallen rapidly, and if the time on the clock in the kitchen was any indicator, I had only a little more than an hour until the transportal would open and take me back to Gnaggarrian space. I couldn’t miss that opening.
It would be better for Kitty that I leave now, while she was still asleep.
With every step of my bare feet in the snow, I fought the urge to turn back. But I didn’t. My feet crunched on the cold ground, but I hardly felt it as it matched the cold was spreading throughout me.
I retraced the route back to the transportal. It seemed to take much longer this time; my feet as heavy as my heart. When I reached the outer ring of stones, I paused, looking back toward the cottage. It was obscured from view now, hidden by trees .
Don’t be a fool, go back to her!
I almost turned around and went back, but I knew it wouldn’t be the right thing for her. How could she live a life on Earth with me, an alien to her species? A life in hiding was not a life I wanted to live. And what if I outlived her? What would I do then?
I would exchange one life with little freedom for another. As much as it pained me, I had to follow through with my plan.
I stepped onto the transportal and slowly approached the center stone. Lowering myself to the cold rock, I sat with my legs crossed, facing the direction of Kitty’s cottage. I closed my eyes and imagined her smiling face. I ran through everything that we had done together. All the interactions I’d had with her. Every word. Every touch. Every caress. Every kiss.
The cold that had spread through my body eased. These memories would have to keep me warm in the coming years, because without Kitty—without my mate—life would be… I didn’t want to think about it.
With my eyes closed, every sound was amplified. I could hear the slight breeze as it moved past the stones and whipped my hair around my face. In my rush, I had neglected to braid it, and it hung loose around my shoulders. I imagined I could hear a small animal dashing in the snow, its footsteps tiny little staccato notes in the evening’s silence.
My ears strained, and I imagined I could hear heavier footsteps approaching.
No, that wasn't my imagination. I opened my eyes to see a slight figure hobbling unevenly up the hill toward me.
I stood to my feet in disbelief, as Kitty emerged from the darkness and stepped inside the circle of stones that in a ring around the transportal.
“Kitty! What are you doing here?” I asked, blinking rapidly in case I was imagining her.
She limped toward me; her hand outstretched. “You left without saying goodbye,” she said, a note of accusation in her voice.
“I thought it best?—”
“If we're going to have any future, you can't make decisions without me.” She gave me a small smile before stepping closer.
I felt a prickle of energy running over my skin, and I no longer felt cold. The stone beneath my feet warmed, and a deep hum filled the air.
“Kitty, you need to get away from here now! The transportal?—”
But it was too late.
She stepped onto the stone next to me, sliding her arms around my waist to hold on tight. There was a flash of light, and then we were gone.