33. Lainey
“Kitten!” Lucky gasps when we walk through the front door. He rushes me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and rocking me back and forth. It’s almost enough to make me smile.
Almost.
He takes a deep breath of my scent and then his gaze flies to my jaw.
“Oh, wow. Congrats you guys.” His tone is soft enough that I can’t tell what he’s feeling, and I’m overwhelmed with crushing guilt.
I am carrying Lucky’s babies but I’ve bonded every member of the pack except for him.
He keeps talking before I have the chance to spiral.
“We can celebrate more later but for now these two have been pacing like caged lions for the last hour and every time I tried to cut the tension they would try to cut me .” He turns his head so his lips meet my ear.
“We were worried about you, little mama. You scared them when you shut down your half of the bond.”
I twine my arms around his waist, hugging him back as tight as I can manage with this yoga ball between us. “I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I needed a minute to process and Wy helped.”
He nods against my head, kissing my hair. “I know. He does that for me, too.” He sniffs me again, waggling his eyebrows with a smirk. “Though maybe not in the same way he helped you.”
As he leads me further into the living room, I come face to face with a stony Rhys and a frantic Lawson. The latter is scanning his eyes up and down my body like he’s trying to use x-ray vision to reassure himself I’m okay, but pouts when he’s unsuccessful.
Rhys prowls forward, standing next to Lawson and staring down at me with just as much intensity. “You alright, darlin’?”
I shrug, because I’m not sure. I probably won’t be until this conversation is over and we can come up with a plan. And then I would like to sleep, because my eyes feel like they’ve been doused in sand.
He nods like that was the answer he expected. “Let’s sit and you can tell us about it. I made you some cinnamon cocoa.”
We all settle on the large couch in the main living room.
The fireplace is roaring, making it so warm I have to strip off my coat.
Thankfully my leggings were not actually torn during our little tryst and I was able to redress before we came in.
Looking around the cozy space, I sigh heavily.
This room has always been one of my favorites in the house, but right now it feels a little bit like a waiting room before I face a firing squad.
Not that I think the alphas will be upset with me in any way, but talking to or about Laura Ryan always makes me feel like that.
A byproduct of her erratic behavior, I suppose.
“My mom texted me again today.” I jump right in, figuring I should just rip the bandaid off.
Their reaction is visceral. Lawson growls so loud the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and Rhys spreads his legs before resting his elbows on them and clasping his hands together so tightly his knuckles turn white.
Lucky looks a little bit confused, but he also looks upset rather than angry.
I’ll have to be sure to talk to him later, since I don’t think he knows about the issues with my mom and I likely owe him an apology for telling everyone except for him.
I shove my phone at Rhys, assuming he’ll be the most calm about it and least likely to accidentally break the device.
He reads the vitriol my mother spewed and I watch as his jaw clenches so hard his teeth audibly grind together.
When he hands the phone off to Lawson, he scoots forward so we’re face to face.
“Now that I know, I’ll ask again. Are you okay? ”
My lower lip wobbles, tears springing to my eyes for the third time today.
My head shakes, and he makes a distressed sound before pulling me into his lap.
My sobs are quiet, but my tears soak his shirt, leaving no doubt that I’m once again crying over the things my mother said to me.
“I don’t know why it still hurts so much,” I whisper into Rhys’s chest.
His hands curl around my body, one on my neck and one around my back.
“It hurts because she was always supposed to be the one person that loved you unconditionally, baby girl. And not only does she not do that, she uses the idea of that love and her position as your mother to manipulate you into feeling like you need to earn her love. Like you aren’t enough exactly as you are. ”
“But that’s not true.” Lawson jumps in. The couch dips next to us, and I’m surprised to find he looks almost calm.
Certainly steadier than he was when we first arrived.
“You are a giver, Lainey. Every room you walk into and every person you meet is only better for having known you. A minute, a day, a lifetime. You feel so deeply and give so much of yourself to those you love that there is absolutely no masking it, even when you think you’re being mean. ”
I glance at Lucky, and he just smirks. “I like you mean, don’t worry. But my brother is right. You have a huge heart and you hide it behind several layers of barbed wire. I didn’t really understand why before, but I think I’m starting to now.”
Wyatt sits on the coffee table in front of us, stroking his hand down my cheek. He doesn’t have to say anything. I know how he feels and I love him for it.
I jolt, a cascade of butterflies taking flight in my chest just as an elbow jams into my belly button.
Ouch. But holy shit, I love these men. I already told Wyatt, but the burning need to tell the others as soon as possible slams into me.
Like maybe I won’t get another chance. It’s ridiculous, but my omega is dancing a jig in my chest now that I’ve finally identified the feeling for what it is.
“We need to file a restraining order.” Lawson’s solemn statement snaps me out of my revelation.
The words land, but for once, the idea of cutting Laura off completely doesn’t scare me. In fact, it’s freeing . All the alphas but Lawson are staring at me like I’m about to snap, but I just nod. “I agree.”
Law nods resolutely, but the pride shining in his eyes and down the bond swells in my chest, filling the space left behind by a mother who should have cared but didn’t, and a father who wasn’t there.
My biological family may be dwindling by the day, but these men?
These men are the forever kind of family.
Going over the logistics of filing a restraining order is tedious and painful, especially when I have to dig up every awful thing Laura has said or done to me to submit as evidence.
Old messages, emails, voicemails, photos of the hand-shaped bruise on my face from the one time she got physical.
By the time all is said and done, several hours have passed and I am dead on my feet.
Even the babies have gone quiet, their kicks and punches having slowed and gentled.
But before I can go to bed… “Will you sleep with me tonight?” I ask Lucky, lacing my fingers with his.
He looks surprised for a moment but quickly masks the expression, instead giving me a genuine grin that holds none of his usual teasing. “I would love that, kitten. Lead the way.”
I quickly kiss the rest of my alphas goodnight and then trudge up the absurd number of stairs until we reach my bedroom.
None of my pack has seen what I’m about to show Lucky, and I can only hope he takes it for the gesture of trust and love that it is.
“Do you need to shower or anything?” I ask him.
He shakes his head, but then nods, before ending with a shrug.
“I don’t, but if you do I’m not missing out on the chance to help you.
” One of the most surprising things about Lucky is just how much of a natural caretaker he is.
It isn’t as innate as Wyatt or as intense as Rhys and Lawson, but it means just as much because it’s intentional.
He’s always finding little ways to make my day easier, including washing my hair when I don’t feel like I can possibly lift my arms long enough to do it myself.
A touch dramatic? Maybe. But I’m growing two babies here.
“I should probably shower since I’m still covered in Wyatt, but…”
“But you don’t want to wash off his scent,” he correctly guesses.
I nod shyly, still not totally comfortable letting my omega instincts show themselves, but Lucky just nods. “Hop in the shower, but don’t wash your hair. I have an idea.” He turns around and runs out, leaving me wondering what he could be up to.
I’m too tired to worry about it, so instead of dwelling, I shrug it off and jump in the shower, using one of the lighter vanilla body washes Wyatt stocked for me. It complements all of our scents well, and that’s what I want right now.
I decide not to wash my hair, so the shower is super fast and by the time I’m out and mostly dry, Lucky reappears with two items of clothing clutched in his hands.
“I didn’t know if you would be cold after being outside earlier or if you would be warm from the fire so I grabbed a short sleeve tee and also a crewneck.
I thought about a hoodie but Rhys reminded me your neck has been sensitive with stuff like that so I thought a crewneck would be safer. ”
It’s like the reminder of being out in the snow has jumpstarted my bodies natural response and I shiver, goosebumps spreading across every inch of exposed skin.
Lucky’s hazel eyes track this and he steps forward, holding the sweatshirt out and tossing the tee on the vanity.
“Arms up.” I do, and he drops the sweatshirt over my head, smoothing it down and sending gusts of Wyatt’s warm cocoa scent to my nose.