Chapter 15
“Oh, Leo. It’s you.” My hands, grateful they don’t have to protect me anymore, go to my chest in an effort to calm my pounding heart.
“Steady on.” Leo removes his hand and holds both of his arms up, apparently worried about my fighting ability (which he really shouldn’t be).
“You shouldn’t grab women, all creepy-like.”
“I am sorry. Next time I grab a woman, I shall endeavor to be less creepy about it.”
“Maybe don’t grab women unexpectedly at all.”
“Also a path I could take.” He takes in my appearance, my hair askew from the aforementioned running, my slightly puffy sleeves sticking to my arms because of sweat from, again, the running. “Where are you off to?”
“Nowhere. Just having a nice, very normal walk.” Yes, Meera. Totally normal walks are usually described as normal. No more questions needed.
“Well, I was coming to call on you. May I walk with you?”
“I…” What would be a legitimate reason to tell him to get lost? It’s already getting late, and if I walk with him, that’s even less time to be out exploring for my way home.
But he is my partner. And I’ve gotten him enough dances in the past few days that I think I can start getting into the weirder requests I mentioned as part of the deal. This could be the red flag that makes him rethink our deal, but I can’t continue lying like this, so I have to take the chance.
“Did you come by carriage?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Great. Let’s get in it.”
“Although I do approve of taking walks in a carriage, does that not somewhat defeat the purpose?”
“This is one of those times I’m going to need your help, without question or judgement.” I cross my arms over my chest so he knows I mean business. Even though I have nothing to bargain or threaten him with if he decides he wants out of the strange requests.
“Then by all means, we shall go.” Leo calls for his carriage back from the groom who was about to take it away. “Out of curiosity, how many of these requests will you make?”
I hold my chin up. “You did not specify a number when we were negotiating the proposition. Therefore, it’s unlimited until you’re married and/or I’m home. But I will try to not abuse it.”
Leo snaps his fingers good-naturedly. “This is why the family fortune is in shambles. Are you sure you cannot take over as my business manager? Then maybe I could put off marriage for a few more years. Not that we have very much to manage at this point that hasn’t already been auctioned off.”
I laugh awkwardly, knowing I could save his entire fortune if I became his business manager. I certainly know the trends of the time period, and even remember some the biggest businesses. I could make him so much money if he had some time.
But I think that would change the timeline too much. Not that I got a manual when all this happened.
A manual would be so nice.
“I shall send for Anne,” Leo says.
I glare at him. Another person is not what I need. Especially one that can report back to Victoria that I’m being suspicious. “Why don’t we just go the two of us?”
Leo laughs. “Whilst I would enjoy nothing more than thumbing my nose at society, I do think this is not the time for either of us to draw negative attention to ourselves.”
He’s right. I don’t like it, but he’s right.
We wait while his coachman fetches Anne, and then finally we can get in the carriage.
I would have liked to be on this trip without a spy, albeit a nice one so far, but it is not looking like that is an option.
I’ll have to watch what I say and do on this trip. This trip to figure out time travel.
“Where would you like to go? No questioning or judging you, just because we need to know how to get there,” Leo says.
“Bedford College, in York Place, please.”
“All right. You heard her,” Leo calls out to his coachman. “Wherever she wants to go.”
He’s so obliging it’s a shame I can’t ask to go to Osbourne House in the year 2025.
“You want to go to a school? I cannot say I enjoyed the concept much the first time around, but I did say we could go where you wanted.”
“I need information. There’s no better place for information than a school.”
“Maybe a school library would be the absolute best.” Leo purses his lips in thought.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” But the thought of all those books isn’t the only thing making me warm under all the layers I’m wearing. It’s the potent combination of the ideas of Leo and books, Leo near the books, Leo in front of bookshelves that really makes me a little wild.
“What kind of information do you need?”
Right, the task at hand. “Information about faraway places and how to get to them.”
“Then we should be going to the docks for a ship.”
“Places that can’t be reached with a ship.”
Leo scoffs. “What kind of place cannot be reached by a ship?”
Of course a citizen of the British Empire can’t fathom a place that can’t be reached by ship. Just you wait. Even though you’ve already seen the height of the Industrial Revolution and all the changes it brought, just you wait for the future that’s going to blow your mind.
I miss those mind-blowing conveniences that I took for granted. Reliable electricity and plumbing. A pocket computer that helps me answer any question I could have and provides entertainment. But also the necessities. My parents. My friends. My students.
I’m alone here. Even with Leo, no matter how much fun I have with him, it’s not the same.
I want my mommy.
And I know I don’t get to see my family that much. They’re a six-hour drive on a good day, but with California traffic, that could easily be ten. But they’re only a call away. A text. A WhatsApp thread.
And now they’re not even that close.
“There are places outside the reach of the Empire,” I say.
“I shall have to take your word for it. Even though this tangent has done nothing to answer my original query.”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” But the urge to share with him, unburden myself of my secret, is strong. Especially as the silence lingers. And then stretches.
A very potent weapon, the silence. Begging to be filled.
Begging for me to say anything to break the unending nothingness.
I try to distract myself with the views of London outside my window, and it kind of works.
I see people going in and out of buildings, finishing their business for the day and meeting acquaintances.
People in extravagant clothes who are visiting these buildings and those in more functional, less expensive ones who work inside them, all mingling on the city streets.
All the hustle and noise of a Victorian city, people yelling, wheels turning over cobblestones, and horses pulling carriages, is interesting.
But it’s not quite enough to distract from the man across from me.
So I’m grateful when the carriage finally stops.
“We’re here,” I say, hoping but also a little sad that this could be my last day living in the past. Which means there’s not going to be any more Leo. It’s very confusing.
I don’t wait for him as I jump out of the carriage and onto the busy nineteenth century London street. I dodge horse poo, street sweepers and finely dressed women to get to the building’s entrance. Then I stop. I don’t know if this is a place I can just walk into.
History teaches about the general: this is Bedford College, founded in 1849, and one of the first colleges for women in the U.K.
A few years from now, it’ll become part of the University of London.
Notable alumni include: Sarah Redmond, one of the first Black women to speak about abolishing slavery in America during the 1800s; George Eliot, author; Elizabeth Blackwell, the first woman to earn a medical degree in America; and plenty of other scientists, politicians and historians.
But I don’t know the particulars. Like: do they have a front desk or some sort of guard system? Frankly, that would be more useful than any other fact I know about it. At least right now.
“Are we going in?” Leo whispers from beside me, having snuck up on my while I was lost in confusion. “Or does the door have all the information we need?”
Like anything’s that easy. “In.”
Taking a deep breath, I twist the doorknob.
It gives easily, opening inward into a silent room.
The stillness is a shock after the chaos of the street, especially when Leo and Anne come in and he closes the door behind them, leaving us in the quiet and dark entryway.
Once my ears and eyes adjust to the new space, I wander deeper in.
“Can I help you?” a man asks. He’s dressed in a suit and walks with perfect posture and an assertiveness that says he’s supposed to be here. A guard, maybe.
“We’re trying to find…” No, I don’t think the truth will serve anyone here. But I didn’t think of a suitable lie, either. “Umm.”
“You cannot just come in and wander around the woman’s college unless you’re authorized to be here.” He takes a threatening step forward. To throw me out? That would be a first, getting thrown out of a school. A first I do not want to achieve.
“This is the Marquess of Basildon, Baron Chelmsford. He’s looking for suitable colleges for his sister and I’m her tutor. We’d like to look around. Speak to the women here about their experiences.”
Leo jumps right into the ruse and ups his arrogance to at least double intensity. “Yes, we need to see if they have been improved by your tutelage, and if it is worth the fees. Thank you for your assistance.”
Then he sails past the security man like he owns the college, without waiting for approval. The guard sputters, but notes Leo’s expensive clothes and very proper chaperone, and lets us pass with a glare.
Fucking aristocrats. I channel all that frustration into a shrug I share with the man and then run after Leo. The arrogance can be helpful, on occasion. Weaponizing his worst characteristics for my gain, as it were.
We pass dark, wood-paneled student spaces, a dining hall, a chapel, and a few classes led by lecturers that aren’t too keen on being interrupted by a stranger opening the door with a hasty apology.
“I know you do not want to tell me what information you need, but do you want to tell me who or what we are looking for to get the information? I have a pair of eyes that can be made a slight more useful if they knew what to look for,” Leo says.
“Like you said: the library. Librarians know everything. We need to get to a library and then they can help us to the next step.”
“I never found anything useful in the library,” Leo mumbles.
“Did you try reading any of the books in the library?”
“Touché, madame.” He has no regret in his voice for all the books he didn’t read.
I roll my eyes and refrain from saying he might not be in the position he’s in if he had read some of those lovely, useful books.
After we’ve opened enough doors that we must be in danger of running out of rooms soon, we find the room we’re looking for.
A magic space of towering dark wood bookshelves, desks and comfortable chairs meant to invite long study, and thick rugs to muffle the sounds of other patrons seeking their knowledge.
Windows were an afterthought, a few planes of glass here and there letting in slivers of light, some already covered by bookshelves.
The lack of light isn’t the best for reading, but it sure does give the room atmosphere. Along with the smell of books that are old even in this time.
“Anne, why don’t you wait at one of the tables? We might be here a while reading and finding books, and there are people around anyway.” I don’t need her listening in on my talk with the librarian.
“Oh, I don’t think that would be proper…”
“What can be more proper than a library? A repository of knowledge. You know, when the library of Alexandria—”
“All right then. I’ll stay right here.” She sits on an overstuffed chair in front of a desk, already knowing, even in our short acquaintance, that I can really yap about history. And she doesn’t want to hear more of it.
“Great. We’ll see you soon,” I say.
“Hi.” I approach the first woman I see, a woman behind a desk.
She’s wearing a plain dress, without any of the ornamentation that I’ve gotten used to being around aristocrats.
It’s comforting to be around people who don’t need to dress up, because they’re going to be surrounded by books.
And books don’t judge if you go for comfort over style.
“Sorry to disturb you. I’m looking for the librarian. ”
“You have just found her.” Then she slides a look past me to my companion. “Are you a student here?”
“No. But we heard this is one of the best libraries in London.”
The woman snorts, not believing anyone would give the women’s college its due. Which, to be fair, no one during this time has said that. But I have said it, albeit in 2025. So it’s also not a complete lie.
I try again. “I would really appreciate any help you could give us.”
The woman looks back and forth at us. I smile and try to step in front of Leo, thinking tall thoughts as if I can will myself more inches to hide him. Any smart woman would realize he’s full of shit, and I need her to believe we are earnest humans who deserve her help.
Not rakes.
Whether we present a trustworthy appearance, or she doesn’t have anything else to do, she closes the book in front of her. “What can I help you with?”
Now that the easy part is over, I have to explain the next bit.
I take a seat across the table from the librarian.
“I would like to learn about…” I look around, sure that this is when I get arrested for being a heretic.
I lean in closer to the woman and Leo leans in closer to me from behind until his breath is making my hair flutter. “…time travel.”