Chapter 21 #2
“Titles not granting their bearers with all the rights and privileges that come with them?”
I roll my eyes. Of course that’s the one he focuses on.
“It had to come to an end some time.” My tone is unsympathetic.
“It’s about intelligence and hard work now.
Or being cutthroat. Although some is still based on connections and family wealth.
Okay, a lot actually still is, but in a different way.
” It’s hard to distill an entire world of seven-point-six billion people into generalities.
“But in general, there are more opportunities for people to have a chance at a good life than there is here, even though family wealth and connections still play a big part of the world.”
Leo isn’t comforted by that, if the sour look on his face is anything to go by.
It makes me defensive. “Oh, come on, you can’t sit here and tell me these people are any better than the people outside these walls.
The people on the other side of this town.
Everywhere has smart people, nice people, mean people, greedy people.
These people here are just luckier than everyone else. ”
“Like me and my father. Him getting a fortune then wasting it away and abandoning his family. That’s what you mean by mean, greedy people.”
“I just mean a name or bloodline doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else.
I’m not a lady.” I whisper the last part.
“Does that make me less than the other people in this nicely decorated garden? Will your future marchioness be better than me because she married you and gave birth to the next marquess?”
“No, she will not be,” Leo says immediately.
I look away, focusing on the intricate dancing in the middle of the garden oasis. “I wasn’t fishing for a compliment. The point is she might be better than me, but it won’t be because of her name or who she marries. Either way, I’m sure you’ll be happy together.”
“But if not for my name, what am I worth?”
“You can be anything, make your own worth. What do you want to do?”
“I do not know. I do not know who I am if I am not the Marquess of Basildon. I do not know what I have to offer beyond it.”
“Because of that name you got a great education. So use it. What interests you?”
“I enjoy history. That was interesting in school.”
“Hey, we have that in common! There’s plenty you can do with it.
You can write books. You probably have access to so many records, not just your own, but the records of your friends and acquaintances.
You could teach. You could work a government post, probably, which would only sort of be related to history but would probably pay more.
You could open your house up to tourists and charge for it, and teach about your family history! ”
I’m done not trying to interfere with the past. The longer I’m here, the more my very existence is changing things.
And with all the anxiety I have about being found out, getting home, and what I’ll do if I can’t get home, I can’t think about the future effects of all this, too.
Sure, I’ll still try not to start a war or invent something that shouldn’t be invented yet; I’ll stay away from big changes. But I can help one person.
Especially when that one person is Leo.
“I suppose I could do those things. But none of them solve the pressing debt issues. The ones I have to solve before the end of the season or I will not have a home to live out of, or food to eat, while I pursue any of those other options. It is too late for me.”
“It’s never too late. I believe you could be a success at any of those things.”
Leo shrugs, uncomfortable with the sentiment. “Perhaps. Ready for another dance?”
I down the rest of my champagne for courage and take his offered hand.
I can’t tell if I’m getting better at these dances, because every time I think I remember the steps to one, Leo drags me out to another one.
He’s always careful helping me during the dances, but it’s clear I don’t know what I’m doing.
Lucky for me, no one expects too much out of me.
Still, it’s nice to be touching Leo again. Even if it is through layers of clothes and gloves.
The rest of the ball is less exciting than the beginning, thankfully for my anxiety. People wander over and talk to us, curious about the courtship. We do a good job not giving anything away, sending the nosy people away with nothing they didn’t already know.
And the attractions we’re surrounded by! I don’t know how they fit everything in, but there are tightrope walkers, a confident lion tamer (which was terrifying and sad since I have no idea how well that lion is treated), and an opera singer with an orchestra.
The night ends with a fireworks display. I have no idea where they’re coming from, since we’re in the middle of Mayfair, but I’m gonna chalk it up to rich people being able to move mountains if the mountain dares to cast a shadow that interrupts their garden party.
Leo stands close to me while the fireworks explode in the air, the bright colors reflecting on the crowd and their powdered wigs. If I were home, I would do what I want and tuck myself under his shoulder at the romantic scene.
But that’s not my reality now, and I have a reputation to worry about.
I also can’t afford to get too close to Leo, someone who is not for me, despite how much I wish otherwise.
So maybe the rules of the era are helping me a little, if they keep a little distance between me and the man who makes me feel more special than anyone has in the future.
After the party, Leo drops Anne and me off at the palace, walking us to the door and stopping there. Thanks to those societal rules, I don’t get a goodnight kiss, or even a friendly hug, which I would very much like despite knowing they wouldn’t help this crush I’m developing on the man.
Longing looks across a bumpy carriage ride are dangerous enough, but I can’t stop myself from enjoying them.
“Shall I pick you up at nine o’clock tomorrow morning to go to Cambridge?” Leo asks.
“Right. To find a way home. Nine sounds good.”
“Excellent. It should be a day trip by train, but if we do get late my family seat is there.”
He has my attention. Because of my area of study, I do a lot of research on the English country estate in general. Knowing that I might see Leo’s is like catnip to me.
This is actually double catnip to me, because I’m interested in his house as a historic artifact, but I’m also interested in the man himself and what the house can tell me about him.
At least I can comfort myself that I was into Leo before he offered to show me his family house, so I’m not stone-digging here.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yes. Sweet dreams, Meera.” He turns and saunters back toward his carriage, giving me a last look at those calves.
I didn’t think hose would do it for me. And it’s probably not the hose as much as Leo’s legs. But I didn’t know legs would do it for me either.
I’m learning so much about myself in the past.