Chapter 14
Curse
Aurora doesn’t release my hand as we follow the minister into the next room.
This space is much larger than the entryway we’ve just come from, lined with wooden pews.
The aisle we are led down cushions our steps with old red carpeting.
Ahead, a huge wooden cross hangs on the wall, hemmed in by big metal pipes on either side that must be part of some pipe organ system.
There’s no music, of course. No guests besides Robbie and Leo. That Tammy lady has made herself scarce.
“You may face each other here,” Lee says when we reach the end of the aisle.
Aurora and I turn towards each other, and I figure that now is the time to let go of her hand. But before I can do so, she captures my other hand in hers as well. Both my palms burn, like someone’s slapped them, even though Aurora’s touch is just as soft as the rest of her.
I barely pay attention to Lee’s words about commitment and devotion and achieving a deeper communion with God through marriage and each other.
I’m too busy watching Aurora, tracing the shape of her face with my eyes, stroking down her cheeks, her neck, drowning in silver and blue.
She appears calm. Composed. No hint of tears in those eyes.
There are dark rings beneath them, though. An indication of her fatigue, her stress, even if she’s managing to keep it together so far.
I never saw her marry Marco. I was stuck outside, waiting.
I wonder if she wore a similar expression when marrying him.
With similar darkness smudged beneath her eyes.
I guess, at least that time, it was covered up in all that makeup.
She isn’t wearing any now, her skin soft and pale, her blonde lashes bare, lips pink and a little chapped.
I’m just thinking about what it might feel like to bite them when she speaks.
“I do.”
“And do you…” Lee pauses, waiting.
“Accursio Titone,” I supply, never taking my eyes from Aurora’s.
“Do you, Accursio Titone, take Aurora Bianchi to be your lawfully wedded wife, to cherish for this day and all days, in the holy empire of our lord?”
To cherish for this day and all days. We’ll only be married for thirty.
But what else will I do once she is gone? What else, besides worship at the spectacular altar of her from afar? What else, besides my constant shadowy vigil, while she walks, oblivious, in the light?
Cherish. The very word is like a caress. A feather across the back of my neck.
Two soft hands in mine.
“I do.”
I’m strangely winded by the words. Like my lungs have gone ahead and quit on me, now that I’ve finally spoken them aloud. My next inhale takes far more effort than it should. It leaves my throat feeling shredded.
“If you have rings, you may-”
Lee halts at the tiny shake of Aurora’s head.
“Ah. Very well. Then, if you choose to seal the ceremony with a kiss, you may do so now.”
Aurora looks like she’s about to shake her head again.
And so she should. This wedding is probably the biggest fucking farce of her life.
In some ways, I’m sure this one is even worse for her than her ceremony with Marco Messina.
At least that marriage was meant to last longer than a fucking month.
At least that one had guests, and flowers, and a nice fucking dress.
Did Marco kiss her? He must have. I can’t imagine him not doing it. Not at an event that fancy, with that many people watching.
My lungs are doing that fucked-up thing again. Seizing up like rusty machinery instead of living organs that have never fucking failed me before.
But I can’t stop it. Can’t help it. I think of Aurora kissing that old fuck Marco Messina at her first wedding, I think about me not kissing her now, and I cannot fucking breathe.
She lets go of my hands. And I am lost. I am fucking flailing.
I have to touch her. Have to keep my hands on her. At least for this moment, in the sphere of the ceremony that has locked us together, however ephemerally.
My fingers rise to her jaw, cupping, feeling the curve or bone, the silk of skin, the quicksilver rhythm of her pulse.
Her lips part in surprise.
She doesn’t get the chance to say a single word before I take them. Her lips, her breath, every fucking thought in her head. Her pulse jumps in response, hammering in the tender places below her jawbones, as I glide my mouth over hers.
It’s so slow I nearly miss it. The timid creep of her fingers to my waist, like she’s worried if she tries too hard to hold me, then I will disappear.
Even if that’s what we agreed on. Even if that’s what she wants.
For me to go. So she can build her new life without me.
Something a hell of a lot like pain spears through me. The pressure of my mouth on hers increases, turns demanding. I’m asking something of her, but I don’t even fucking know what it is.
She answers with the ruinous, glorious touch of her tongue to mine.
I tear myself from her, failing lungs on fire, knowing that if I don’t stop now, I’m going to be fucking her right here in the church, just like I did on the train.
Aurora’s cheeks are flushed, her lips damp and swollen-looking.
She touches her own mouth with a trembling hand while Lee clears his throat and tells us it’s time to sign the license.
I sign it in a haze, like I’ve fallen headfirst into a dream.
Aurora signs as well, as do Leo and Robbie, followed, finally, by Lee.
And then, the entire thing is done.
Aurora Bianchi is my wife.
Lee never took the money. I pull it from my back pocket and leave it on his podium as he heads for the doors that lead into the entry area.
He pulls them open and waits expectantly.
Robbie goes through first. I press a hand to Aurora’s lower back, guiding her forward, with Leo bringing up the rear.
Tammy is back, busily arranging the final items for the breakfast. She straightens up at the sight of us, pursing her lips and eyeing Aurora.
“Congratulations?” She says it like a question. Aurora smiles thinly and nods.
Lee unlocks the front doors and holds one for us. As cold morning air blasts in, he says, “May God be with you as you embark on this new journey together. But be careful.”
I halt in the doorway, my attention slicing to him at the warning.
“A storm is coming.”
I don’t know if this is some metaphorical mumbo jumbo or something as simple as the goddamn weather forecast. Either way, I don’t like it. The words hit me from a weird fucking angle. I quickly crack my knuckles before I pull Aurora closer, closing myself over her like a shield.