Chapter 6 #2
Hugo stared at Earnest, trying to make sense of what he was saying. “Didn’t you say you grew up in an orphanage with the Duke of Edenwick’s stablemaster?”
“That is also true. When I was ten, it was obvious to everyone that I preferred to read books and despite all my father’s efforts, I had no practical skills whatsoever, and so my father sent me to the orphanage.
He said that maybe they could find a trade that I was capable of, but he needed to focus his attention on training someone who was worth his time and effort. ”
Hugo gasped. “He just sent you away?”
“Yes.” Earnest lifted his chin defiantly.
“But now look at me. If I’d stayed, I would’ve been a terrible blacksmith, and instead now I’ve been knighted for my poetry.
” Earnest smirked and waggled his eyebrows, and Hugo recognised it immediately; that need to find the good in a terrible situation.
He’d done that too; telling himself that his father needed to treat him like that because being an Earl took responsibility and could only be done by someone who could follow the rules.
“You said my father was an ass. I think yours was too.”
“No, your father chose to treat you miserably for no reason. To punish a child who falls off a pony is illogical. My father merely treated me like labour, which is practical because we were poor. He had mouths to feed, and I needed to earn my keep. When I couldn’t, he made a pragmatic choice.
But your father... he chose violence, and it was completely unnecessary. ”
Hugo couldn’t talk. There was too much emotion clogging up his throat, and so he buried his head against Earnest’s neck instead.
“An Earl’s son should be enjoying the privilege of his life and getting away with mischief. He shouldn’t be cowering away in fear for his safety.”
Hugo wished it were true. “You read too many books, if that’s what you think being an Earl’s son is like.”
“Hugo. I might have grown up poor and then been sent to an orphanage, but I’ve spent my entire adult life writing about your peers.
I’d like to think I understand them a bit, and your experience is not typical.
Most Lords don’t understand the first thing about struggle.
If they did, they’d make better laws for the common people to prevent .
..” Earnest waved his hands. “The state of the world.”
“Maybe there’s some truth in that, or maybe they benefit from power and class and they want to keep it that way.
” Hugo had spent his childhood being told he was going to the Earl, and he had to change himself to be good enough to be worthwhile.
He was the only son of his father. Everything rested on his shoulders, so he needed to be made strong enough.
“Do you think your father treated you like that because—” Earnest touched his cheek.
Hugo shook his head quickly. “No. He never mentioned my mother or grandmother. It was my fault, always my fault for not living up to the standards of the Earldom. He’d been a boy once, he used to say, and he knew what it took to become a man.”
“It sounds like his father was also a dreadful person.”
Hugo shrugged. “Maybe it is simply what was is required to make someone able to hold the responsibility of being the Earl of Horden.” He had always understood that his father treated him like for the sake of the estate and the title; it had nothing to do with his mother or her heritage.
“I’m not dismissing your question. I understand what it feels like to have someone judge me for my skin, for my mother’s heritage, and my father never did that. ”
Earnest hugged him tighter. “You are the expert. I believe you.”
“Thank you.” He tried not to think of doing his duty for the title and providing an heir, because he was scared that he would become like his father and treat his own son in the way that was necessary.
He’d rather let the Earldom die out before doing that to a child.
He breathed out very slowly, knowing he shouldn’t let himself think such radical thoughts.
“The real question, the one you dragged me here to talk about, is how we are going to use your power and your position to get all the bad laws changed.” Earnest changed the subject and Hugo’s skin stopped feeling so cold. He could breathe again.
“All?” Hugo was not that ambitious.
“Sure, why not? Why not have an impossible goal?”
He shook his head. “Some of us have to be practical.”
Earnest held his hand across his heart and gasped theatrically.
“I’m sorry.” Hugo had said something wrong.
“It’s fine. I’m teasing you. It’s true, I am impractical. I write about matters of the heart and the beauty of the world and I’m not very good at life.”
“Nonsense. You are a keen observer of people. You couldn’t write what you do without that.
” Hugo suddenly stopped panicking that other people might have noticed his worries.
He hated that people might see him as a scared little boy, and not the man he’d grown into.
Earnest had noticed a few poignant things about his life because noticing was his special talent. It wasn’t universal.
“Why thank you. It is nice to be appreciated.”
He was all tangled up inside. “Are you jesting me?”
“No silly. I’m flirting with you.”
“Excuse me?” Why would Earnest want to do that? They’d already seen each other naked and it was obvious that Hugo wanted more, despite his worry that he shouldn’t. But if Earnest was correct about the sodomy laws, he hadn’t broken any rules yet. Oh dear. He held up his palm.
“I have a more interesting question...” Earnest grinned, tapping his palm against Hugo’s. “Stop glowering at me.”
He wasn’t, was he? “What is your question?”