Chapter 10
Hugo finally understood why men lost their ability to reason when it came to sex.
Earnest was perfection itself as he rode Hugo’s cock, encouraging him, and when he stopped worrying that he might be hurting Earnest and gave into the urge to thrust, his whole world changed.
It became brighter and more beautiful. Having Earnest in his bed or putting his mouth on his cock had been incredible, but fucking him was something else.
The way Earnest’s body held him tight and his muscles rippled as he moved above Hugo .
.. It had been the most wonderful moment in Hugo’s entire existence.
Fuck. He’d give Earnest the world if he could.
Apparently Earnest didn’t feel the same way, as he hadn’t even kissed him afterwards.
Just bowed sarcastically and left. It was terribly confusing, and Hugo had no one he could talk to about it.
He stayed there, naked in his father’s office, body sated and brain spinning with too many questions.
It took him a long time to realise that he wasn’t afraid anymore.
That demon had been slayed too, maybe not forever, but at least for now.
It was just one more reason to find Earnest and figure out how to make him stay.
He found his clothes, and half of Earnest’s, gathering them up before getting dressed.
He placed Earnest’s clothes on his father’s desk with a little smile at the way his father would’ve hated that.
It was satisfying in the most petty fashion, and he started to tell Earnest that he’d won the bet—nothing bad had happened—except he wasn’t there.
Earnest was wrong. Something bad had happened.
Earnest had, inexplicably, left. Hugo marched down the hallway towards the front door and his butler’s office, almost colliding with Sanjit, his valet.
“Sanjit.”
“Yes, my lord.”
“Would you happen to know where Sir Earnest Pashley is?”
“No, my lord.” Sanjit’s hands twisted.
“What is the problem?”
“My lord. Your cravat.”
He lifted his chin and Sanjit removed the apparently offensively tied cravat and retied it. “Now that’s fixed, could we focus on finding ...”
“Yes, my lord.” Sanjit nodded. “Maybe Wong will know. I’m heading that way with a message.”
“What message?” His stomach sank as he realised one of the staff may have overheard them, and combined with his instructions that no one could use that room, perhaps that explained Sanjit’s manner just now.
“One of the kitchen hands spotted a man walking along the driveway and was worried about an intruder, so I was sent to tell Wong,” Sanjit said.
Hugo’s butler, Wong, would be able to ready an army of footmen to figure out whether the man was a threat, but Hugo relaxed.
Wong didn’t need to be informed about either the intruder or to find Earnest because they were one and the same.
Hugo had found his lover, who apparently was making another dramatic scene, similar to how he’d behaved in London the first time they’d been intimate.
“Stop. The man is Sir Earnest Pashley. I will go and talk to him.” He walked towards the front of the house, trying to stop himself from running, and as soon as he was outside, he jogged along the driveway.
He didn’t have to go far before he discovered Earnest sitting under a tree, hugging his knees.
His feet were bare, and he wore only a shirt and pants, looking rather handsomely dishevelled.
“Earnest. What on earth are you doing sitting here?”
Earnest glanced up, tears streaking down his face. Oh dear. This wasn’t like last time at all. “Why isn’t it raining?”
“To add more drama or simply add to your obvious misery?”
“Drama, obviously. I’m a poet. If I’m going to take charge of my broken heart and rush away, at least the weather could provide some atmosphere.”
He didn’t know where to start with any of that. “Are you going to camp here again?”
“No. This time I’m leaving first so you can’t throw me out.”
Hugo sat down beside Earnest and slung one arm around his slumped shoulders. “Earnest. I’m not going to throw you out again.”
“You might.”
“No. The first time I was scared. I wanted you to go away before something bad happened. I knew I was going to be punished for being with you and I didn’t want you to be there when the punishment came.”
Earnest blinked at him through tear covered lashes. “Wait. You pushed me away to save me from your own demons?”
“I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you.” He knew now that he’d created a situation which was Earnest’s bad thing instead, and his heart ached. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry for running away too. I thought ... I hoped that if I left first, then you wouldn’t have a chance to realise that you didn’t want me.”
Hugo held Earnest tighter. “I want you.”
“Good because I think I’ve fallen in love with you, and stop, before you say that I always imagine myself in love, this time it’s true.”
Hugo wasn’t sure what to make of that. “What do you mean?”
“I always fall in love too easily.”
“Who told you that?” Hugo certainly hadn’t been thinking about love, only consequences.
“My friends. They are always rescuing me after a love affair.”
“I don’t understand.”
“That time on your lawn. I was angry at you for throwing me away and I wanted to make a scene. My friends made excuses for me.”
“The book?”
“Yes, damn them, because then I had to go and finish the book with a broken heart. No one has discarded me like that since...” Earnest gulped audibly.
“Since your father sent you to the orphanage?” Hugo guessed.
Suddenly everything made sense. All the dramatic statements and Earnest’s need to leave immediately after they’d both been together so spectacularly.
Hugo wasn’t going to comment on Earnest’s apparent broken heart after one night together.
It was typically dramatic of the poet to use such language, and perhaps Earnest’s friends weren’t far off the mark.
“Yes. Fathers. Who’d have them?” Earnest’s shoulders heaved. “I shouldn’t be too harsh on all fathers. Sebastian ended up with a wonderful father figure when he was adopted out of the orphanage, so it’s possible that decent fathers exist even if we lucked out on that front.”
“We did.” Hugo knew he’d have to spend his lifetime grappling with the way his father had treated him, but it all seemed possible with Earnest by his side. “Earnest?”
“Yes.”
He touched Earnest on the chin and tipped his head so they gazed into each other eyes. “Earnest. What we have isn’t love.”
“It isn’t? It sure feels like it could be.”
“It could be.” Hugo could easily fall in love with the way Earnest cared about him, if he could simply let himself stop worrying about the future and what might happen.
“But it’s not? Are you certain? Because I’m not certain. I’ve seen you at your most glorious and I’ve seen you scared and angry and frustrated, and I want to know everything about you.”
Hugo swallowed down the rush of emotion. “And then what? Once we know everything about each other, what then?”
“I don’t think I’ll get bored with you, Hugo.”
“Why not?”
“Because we both have demons to deal with and they are sneaky devils that will take a lifetime to figure out. We could spend years together and still never figure it out. I’ll never be bored with you, Hugo.”
Hugo wished that would be enough. “And what about the world?”
“Oh, bollocks to the world. If the Duke of Edenwick can live with his stablemaster, then you can employ a poet to write your family histories, or whatever.”
“You want to work for me?”
Earnest grinned. “Not really. I want to live with you and be inspired to write poetry whenever the muse comes to me. Besides, it’s the perfect cover for being with you.
No one will care about us, and many will applaud the way you support the arts.
You might have to occasionally support other artistic ventures.
Look at Lord Lawndry – he has that strange woman who works for him as a watch collector. ”
“The Viscount of Rookwood has a hermit in his garden. It’s very old fashioned, but apparently the man is wonderfully entertaining for guests.
” Hugo had always thought it was indulgent.
He’d never wondered about it from the hermit’s point of view, and as Earnest intimated, it was probably quite a good job to have for someone who didn’t have an Earldom.
“So you see, no one will blink if you employ a poet and writer to work on a project so big it will take a lifetime.”
“I’d rather put my energies into changing bad laws.” Hugo understood what Earnest was saying, but it wasn’t really like him to fund the arts. He’d always been too serious; a dry bore to his peers in Lords.
“Then you’ll need someone who has many newspaper contacts and can write pretty words to convince the public that your perspective is the correct one.”
Hugo considered this. “Convincing the public won’t matter if I can’t convince the peerage who have the power to make changes.”
“Very true.” Earnest brushed his finger down Hugo’s temple. “Maybe it would make more sense to create outrage. Let me write about the peers who own plantations and enslave people.”
Hugo opened his mouth to retort about how it still wouldn’t matter, but then ... “You are very persuasive.”
“Then let me persuade people. I can simultaneously make villains and create heroes and write stories that will help you.”
Hugo leaned forward and kissed Earnest on the forehead. A short kiss, because they were outside his house under a tree with a public roadway not too far away and he couldn’t stop worrying about the consequences. “Come inside, Earnest, and we can figure out the details.”
Earnest winked. “Is that what you call it?”
“We can do that too.” Hugo almost smiled at Earnest’s keenness to be with him. “You can’t sit here, disgracefully dressed, where anyone might see.”
“Oh, Hugo. You sound like you care for me.”
He smiled. “I do and I hope I won’t regret the day that I welcomed a dramatic poet into my life.”
“If that’s not love, I’m not a wordsmith.”
“Shall we make a start on determining if that is true?” Hugo stood up, gave Earnest’s hands a tug, then walked beside him back to his father’s house. “It really is a monstrosity, isn’t it?”
“It’s lovely, if you like an ostentatious mixture of architectural styles where more is more and then more on top of that.”
“I thought I hated the house for what happened to me in there, but it’s really not my taste at all.”
Earnest elbowed him in the ribs, a jovial almost fun jab that made Hugo’s heart skip a beat. He really was going to fucking do this; be with Earnest and fall in love. And then he remembered the panic he’d felt when Earnest had left and he knew the truth.
“I really could fall in love with you.”
“Do it. I bet nothing will go wrong.”
Hugo’s whole body warmed. “You are a menace, Sir Earnest Pashley.”