15. Chapter Fifteen #4
“I know.” Mabel sighed. “And it sucks because we used to be friends until she got together with Joss. But I can’t make her like me, and I’ve decided I’m not going to stress out over it.”
“She should’ve been thanking you for being so jolly decent about everything.” Colin paused. “It was nice that Joss stuck up for you.”
“Yeah, that was a surprise.” Mabel drank an enormous slug of wine. “He’s a good guy when he stops trying to be a Zuck.”
“Is he really?”
Mabel looked at Colin’s skeptical expression and sighed.
“No, he’s a complete pain in the ass. You must be wondering why I stayed with him for so many years.
My only excuse is that I was working so hard I never got the chance to see other men let alone date them.
And he changed so gradually that I didn’t even realize how far we’d grown apart until I no longer wanted the life he loves. ”
“You don’t want him back, do you?” Colin asked.
“No,” Mabel said.
“Are you sure?”
She gave him a severe look. “Don’t fish for compliments. You know I prefer you.”
“How much?”
“A lot.” She blew him a kiss. “I’m currently putting up with your whole family. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
“That you’re as nutty as a fruitcake?”
She put down her wine glass with elaborate care. “I have all my nuts together, thank you very much.”
“According to Sam, you have all the nuts you’ll ever need,” Colin said.
Mabel sat back. “Are you worried about me having money?”
“Of course not.” He attempted a laugh which didn’t fool her. “It’s not as if I need any.”
“I’ve already offered to—”
He held up his hand, his expression cooling. “It’s very sweet of you, but it’s my problem, isn’t it? And I’m the one who has to solve it.”
“You’ve already made it very clear that you don’t want my help.
I get it.” Mabel stood up, wobbling slightly from the effect of the wine, aware that words were tumbling out of her that should probably remain unsaid.
Yet again she felt like she was being kept on the outside, pushed away from someone she’d started to believe she was in love with.
“I have a lot of money, Colin, a lot. Millions and millions of dollars just sitting there waiting to be used.”
“That much, eh?” he slowly shook his head. “I can’t even fathom being that rich.”
“But you have wealth.” She flung out a hand. “An estate like this isn’t exactly normal either.”
“Land rich and cash poor, that’s the Marchams.”
“And you’ve stayed afloat for hundreds of years by marrying wealth,” Mabel said. “Your grandmother told me all about it.”
“Well, firstly you and I are not married, and I’m not—”
“The kind of guy who’d marry someone like me?” Mabel interrupted him. “It’s funny really, I’ve spent my whole life avoiding men who only want me for my money, and I have to fall for the one guy who not only doesn’t want my money but doesn’t think I’m worth keeping around.”
Colin frowned. “You know that’s not what I meant. Why would any woman want to hang around on an estate teetering on bankruptcy with an heir who’s known for screwing things up?”
Mabel took a steadying breath. “Are you saying I don’t have the right to believe in you?
“No, of course not. That isn’t fair and this isn’t about money.”
“Yes, it is, Colin.” She met his gaze head on. “It’s always about money in the end.”
There was a long pause when all she could hear was the ticking of the kitchen clock before he spoke.
“If that’s how you value yourself, Mabel, then maybe I’m not the one at fault here.” Colin said evenly. “One might think you’d be glad I have scruples and that the thought of all your money terrifies me.”
“Says the guy who’d rather pretend he’s an asshole than believe in himself.” She picked up the wine bottle. “I’m going to bed. Please don’t disturb me when you come back.”
He didn’t follow her, which told her everything she needed to know about where his priorities lay..
Apparently, she was the problem. She had too much money for some people, not enough for others, and no one actually saw “her” anymore.
Joss only valued her because she made him money, her mom and sisters had grown accustomed to her stepping in and quietly fixing any financial worries they had, and Colin…
Well, he said he didn’t want her money, but it was driving a wedge between them anyway.
She stopped walking, aware of the distant sounds of the continuing party and the cries of the feral peacocks who stalked the woods.
But was he right? Was she the one who was unable to see herself as anything other than a walking dollar sign?
Was she seriously upset simply because he said he didn’t think she was like that?
Had she started to see herself as some kind of goddess dispensing gifts for which she had to be thanked?
Mabel briefly closed her eyes, swayed far too hard, and hastily opened them again.
She couldn’t think about that now. She could barely walk in a straight line. She would get into bed, finish the wine, and take a nap. Hopefully when she woke up everything would be all right again.