Chapter 45
45
The first moment Belle knew anything was wrong was late that evening when Caleb knocked on her apartment door.
She couldn’t mask her surprise at seeing him standing there. Her heart beat faster and heat pooled in the pit of her stomach.
‘Everything okay?’ She noticed frown lines creasing his forehead and how washed-out he looked.
‘It’s Cara’s dad, he died earlier today.’
‘Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.’ Belle opened the door wider to let him in.
‘I can’t stay,’ he said, making her heart drop. ‘I’m going out to Australia to spend a few days with her. Help them out.’ He reached for her hand. ‘I’m flying first thing tomorrow. I just didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.’
Was he running away? Belle immediately dumped the thought, because of course he wasn’t. A neediness and desperation was creeping into her head that she didn’t like one bit. His best friend was grieving. He wasn’t running away from potentially difficult emotions here but he was going to comfort a friend and support her when she needed him, exactly as Cara had done following Paloma’s death.
Belle desperately wanted to be with him; she didn’t want any distance between them, let alone for him to be on the other side of the world. Last night had meant everything, but it was more than that. He was someone she wanted to confide in as much as make love to, someone to bounce ideas off as well as talk late into the night with.
Belle closed the distance between them and put her arms around him. ‘Have a safe flight and send my love to Cara. And don’t worry about anything back here; it’ll be in safe hands.’
‘I know it will be.’ He tugged her close and kissed her passionately.
Being with his best friend and her family while they grieved made Caleb look back on his own loss. This time he was the strong one comforting Cara.
The time away gave him clarity about his feelings for Belle because she was in his thoughts constantly, a companion to his memories of Paloma. But Belle was back at Spirit alive and beautiful, sexy and wonderful. The time apart was a good test because understanding his true feelings would have been harder if he’d been around her all the time. He longed for her and desperately missed spending time with her, chatting and laughing, sharing ideas and talking through challenges. He missed kissing and touching her, and more than anything he missed waking up with her. It had only happened once but he wanted it to happen again and again and again.
They messaged each other every day but he’d held off phoning or video calling her because the time apart was helpful, at least for him. He was worried how sleeping together then him taking off may have looked to her, but Cara reassured him that if Belle really had feelings for him then she’d understand. Most of all, he was glad to be able to support Cara and help her wade through the aftermath of losing her dad. He met her family for the first time: her mum, sister, niece and nephew. Her friends too, including Naomi, who was as perfect for Cara as he’d hoped she would be and was there for her as much as he was. What would happen to their relationship when Cara returned to Ibiza would be a worry for another time.
Ten days was too short a time to be with Cara and her family, but far too long to be away from Belle. Returning to Ibiza was filled with mixed emotions, particularly as he was heading home to decisions and a potential new start. Jetlag combined with his arrival back at Solace at an unsociable hour made night and day merge into one and he didn’t wake until late in the afternoon when Maria phoned, inviting him and Belle over for Sunday lunch the next day.
After getting off the phone with Maria, he messaged Belle and invited her over.
Despite the lightness Caleb felt in his heart, the August evening was oppressively humid, and when Belle arrived they retreated to the terrace and plunged their feet into the cool water of the pool. She looked radiant in a white maxi skirt and sleeveless top with a bikini beneath, which conjured up memories of her in his T-shirt in the pool…
They caught up on their time apart and it felt good to be home. Even better to be with Belle.
‘Being away from you was helpful.’
‘You should explain yourself quickly, Caleb Levine!’ Belle leaned back on her hands and gave him an appraising look, although she couldn’t completely disguise her smile.
‘I mean, the distance allowed me to work out my feelings. About you.’ It was all coming out in a muddle, but then being back in her presence was having that effect. ‘What I’m trying to say – badly – is that time apart made me certain about wanting to be with you. Here. Right now.’ He tugged her close, planted a kiss on her forehead and breathed her in. She smelled of summer. ‘I’m not worrying about the future, or what comes next.’
‘I’ve never been someone who’s looked too far into the future apart from where I want to be in my career,’ Belle said, snuggling closer to him. ‘Relationship-wise I’ve always focused on the past which hasn’t been healthy. The things I’ve wanted to change and can’t. You’re right to not worry about what comes next. And I’ve actually found the time apart helpful too. It’s given me space to think.’
Caleb raised an eyebrow, wondering if she was going to elaborate.
‘Oh, you want to know what I’ve been thinking about?’ She laughed. ‘Our night at Eddie’s – that’s been on my mind a lot and how good it was and how much I’ve missed you. I don’t want to change anything because it feels so right. I’ve come to the conclusion we should live in the moment.’
‘Day by day, like you said.’
‘Exactly.’
The way she smiled melted his heart and he knew without a doubt that slow was the way to go, to enjoy what they had right now without worrying about the future or picking apart the past.
Belle slid her hand into his and leaned her head in the crook of his shoulder. ‘But ultimately I do want what Laurie and Gem predicted for me ten years ago.’ Her voice was silken in the fading light, Ibiza Town like a beacon in the dusk. He focused on the movement of her feet beneath the water and the feel of her fingers between his. ‘A dream career, dream man, dream life. A family of my own. I want it all, if that’s not too greedy.’
‘Not greedy, it’s hopeful.’
‘But one step at a time, right,’ Belle said with laughter in her voice.
‘Oh, we absolutely shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves.’ Caleb paused but then took strength from her openness. ‘But I still want what I’ve always wanted – to love and be loved. To eventually have a family. To be happy.’ He shrugged and buried his lips in her honey-scented hair. ‘But I’m talking way in the future.’
‘That doesn’t stop you from being happy right now though,’ Belle said gently.
‘Oh, I am happy, more than you could ever know.’
Belle clasped his hand tighter then lifted her head away from his shoulder with a gasp. ‘Where’s your wedding ring?’
Caleb reached beneath his T-shirt and pulled out the ring on a chain around his neck. ‘It’s here, kept close to my heart.’ He brought the ring to his lips and kissed it, then tucked it back against his chest. ‘It felt like the right time.’
Removing his wedding ring but wearing it in a different way was a promise to himself to let go and start anew. It was also his way of showing Belle that whatever this was, it was something he wanted.
Belle rested her hand against his chest, leaned close and kissed him.
‘Would you like to stay the night?’ he asked when they eventually pulled away from each other.
‘More than anything.’
Maria had spoken on many occasions to Caleb about him embracing the possibility of finding someone special in his life again, but he’d been uncertain how she’d actually feel if it ever happened. He could tell Belle was nervous when they arrived at Maria and Juan’s the next day, more so than the first time she’d come over for lunch, but back then they’d just been friends. Caleb kept a tight hold of Belle’s hand as they walked down the path at the side of the house, deciding that action rather than words was the best way to show the change in their relationship. He wasn’t yet sure what she was. Girlfriend? Partner? Lover? None felt quite right. She was Belle, he was Caleb and they were together. That was enough for now.
Everyone was outside, and with most of the family there, the garden was filled with people, conversation and laughter. Gabriela, Ana and àngel were bringing out bowls of food from the kitchen and the long table on the terrace was already filled with dishes. Delicious smells wafted into the heat of the afternoon from where Juan was grilling meat on the barbecue.
Maria’s smile didn’t waver as she caught sight of them. Her eyes dropped briefly to their entwined hands and back up again to Caleb. She paced over and greeted him with a kiss to each cheek and did the same to Belle, ushering them to the table. The greetings that were called out, and the way Diego clamped his hand firmly on his shoulder, leaned close and whispered in Catalan ‘I am so happy for you, brother’ left Caleb choked up. The love that flooded through him at Paloma’s family’s openness and acceptance blew him away.
He sensed Belle relax too as the children were herded to the table. With Maria’s help, Juan brought over some of the barbecued food: smoked-paprika steaks and pork burgers with piquillo peppers and serrano ham.
Once everyone was settled, Maria stood and raised her glass. Her soulful eyes took in each and every person round the table and lingered on Belle, then rested on Caleb.
‘To family and friends, old and new.’ She looked at Diego, dipped her head and smiled. ‘To those we love and those we miss with all our hearts.’ Her gaze returned to Caleb. ‘To hope, happiness and love.’
Caleb knew the last part was aimed at him and Belle. He did everything in his power to hold it together, especially when Belle reached beneath the table and clasped his hand.
‘Paloma must have been a wonderful woman, because she comes from a fabulous family,’ Belle said a few hours later as she cast her eyes over the wondrous sight of the big and loud family scattered across the terrace. The food had been demolished, the children were playing and the grown-ups were sitting in various groups drinking and chatting. ‘I understand how they embraced you as a son and held on to you for dear life after you all lost her, but to welcome me into their home, to be genuinely happy for you and open towards me, that takes a special kind of strength and a huge heart. You were all lucky to have Paloma in your lives even if it was for too short a time.’ She turned back to Caleb and her stomach clenched at the sight of the tears streaking down his face and catching in his stubble. ‘Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’ve said too much.’
He shook his head and wiped his face with the back of his hand. ‘No, you haven’t. What you said was beautiful and so true.’
The serious and reflective mood that had filtered round the table with Maria’s touching toast had slowly dispersed over the delicious lunch. As the afternoon rolled into the evening, the wine and beer flowed. Both of them were grateful for Diego and his brothers entertaining everyone with stories before Diego and Tomàs got out their guitars and started to play.
‘You and Diego,’ Caleb said, shaking his head. ‘I still can’t believe it.’
‘What?’ Belle folded her arms and tried to look incredulous. ‘That I managed to pull him?’
Caleb nearly choked on his Coke. ‘No, unfortunately that I believe – can’t get that image out of my head. What I couldn’t believe was how ridiculously jealous I felt when Gem said that stuff about you two. I knew then how much I liked you.’
‘What were you jealous of?’ Belle batted her eyelashes, enjoying teasing him as much as she adored how open he was being with her. After years of shutting down her own emotions when things got serious or uncomfortable, it was refreshing to embrace this newfound freedom of not being frightened by her feelings.
‘I was jealous that he knew you before I did and was confused by how betrayed I felt when Gem asked if you’d slept together again. There was absolutely no reason for me to feel that way when we weren’t together. I had no right to you and yet…’
‘You should know how horrified I was when Gem said that in front of you, not because it was inappropriate with you being my boss and Diego your brother-in-law but because I was ashamed of what you’d think of me when I was so ridiculously drawn to you.’
‘There’s nothing to be ashamed about.’ He gave her a sly smile. ‘I remember perfectly well being twenty-one and enjoying summer in Ibiza.’ He lowered his voice. ‘To be honest, I’d have been more surprised if you hadn’t had sex with him.’
Belle manoeuvred even closer to him on the bench, laid her hands on his thighs and matched his tone. ‘I really don’t think we should be talking about me having had sex with your brother-in-law. It sounds wrong on so many levels.’
‘It really does. Former brother-in-law sounds less problematic.’ He pulled out his wedding ring on the chain round his neck, pressed it to his lips then slipped it back beneath his T-shirt. ‘Because that’s what he is.’ He took her hand and pressed it to his chest. ‘Neither of us has anything to feel ashamed or guilty about.’ He rubbed his thumb up and down hers and leaned so close she could feel his heat and smell the spiced citrus and sandalwood notes of his Tom Ford fragrance. ‘How about we say goodnight to everyone and head home.’
Those words, so meaningful and filled with emotion, were matched by a look that she could only describe as love. This was what it felt like to be loved and to be in love. Of that she was certain.
Maria’s hug goodbye was heartfelt and the gentle nod she gave Belle as she clasped her hands spoke volumes. Diego’s kiss to each cheek, which once would have sent her heart racing, was nothing more than friendly.
‘Good things came out of our holiday ten years ago,’ she said, smiling up at him. ‘You and Gem for one, and now me and Caleb.’
‘You’re perfect for each other. And he’s a lucky man.’ His eyes grazed her face, the hint of the cheeky smile that had stolen her heart a decade ago appearing. ‘He’s also a good man and deserves to find happiness with you, Belle.’
In the heat of the August evening with the wind whipping past and Santa Eulalia glittering in the darkness, Belle and Caleb were both quietly reflective as they drove. The evening was just getting started with people beginning to head out for tapas or a cocktail by the beach. Later on, the night air would pulse with laughter, chatter and the best dance music, but for Belle and Caleb as they whizzed along the dark road there was simply freedom and peace, hope and anticipation.
Belle had expected Caleb to drive straight to Solace, but he turned off towards Cala Llonga as if heading to Serenity. Instead of driving down to the restaurant, he parked on the hill above. ‘I want to show you something.’
Caleb took Belle’s hand and led her along a well-hidden path through the forested hillside. The dense pine trees blocked out the moonlight, so Caleb used the torch on his phone to light the way. The track finished at a rocky outcrop overlooking the sea. Defying gravity, pine trees grew out of the cliff below them. In the curved centre of the horseshoe bay, Serenity’s three terraces were cut into the hillside, their honeyed light contrasting with the white surf of the moonlit sea churning onto the pebbled beach.
‘I’ve never brought anyone here,’ Caleb said as they gazed out together. ‘Before I took over Serenity, I came here on my own to get a better view. I made my decision the moment I laid eyes on it from this angle, and that was without it looking anywhere near as wonderful as it does now.’
Belle realised she was holding her breath. Buttery light pooled into the darkness and the only sound was the swoosh and suck of the sea, distant voices and a faint melody drifting out to the dark horizon.
He didn’t need to say that Paloma had never seen Serenity. She understood that being here together now was special because it was a place that he was sharing with just her.
She breathed deeply and took his hand, wanting to commit this moment and feeling to memory, because it was perfect.
‘I, um, don’t know how to say this…’ Caleb switched his focus from Serenity to her. ‘Maybe I’m trying to attempt to show you my feelings, rather than explain. By bringing you here, by wanting you to stay the night again, by?—’
‘I love you, Caleb.’
His eyes widened and he drew her to his chest. For the first time in her life, Belle had known exactly how to put into words what she was feeling.
With his fingers in her hair and her arms wrapped around him, passion and longing threaded through them.
‘I love you too.’
Caleb kissing her on the cliff overlooking Serenity was everything. Loving him was effortless. Their attraction pulled them together like two magnets, a perfect and satisfying connection. There was no need to think about the past or wonder about the future when gazing at each other with the sea rippling silver in the moonlight was just the beginning of their happy ever after.