Chapter 32 #2
‘I think the rumours were correct,’ I said, as calmly as I could.
‘I can’t prove it, but… I have reasons to believe that it’s true.
Either way, we know that Lord Albert was…
’ I trailed off. ‘We all know what I am not saying.’ I didn’t want to say the words in front of Violet.
She was too young to hear it; she had already suffered way too much.
‘God be merciful.’ Aunt Bill crossed herself. ‘That poor, poor girl.’
‘If you stay in St Nantes, Albert will find you.’ William addressed Hermione directly. ‘I do not say that to be cruel, Lady Trevarron. But it is the truth.’
‘You need to get to York. To your family,’ I said.
‘Yes.’ Hermione nodded. ‘I think that I won’t feel safe until we do.’
‘I could take them,’ Nancy said. ‘I could take the ’orse an’ carriage.
We could be there in a few days. Would be good for me to get out o’ the village for a bit.
Lie low. That means that you an’ William can take your chances wi’ the portal.
’ She eyed it with suspicion. ‘It’s not for me, maid, but it’s different for you. ’
‘What do you think?’ I looked at William.
‘ I worry about their safety. I do trust you, of course, Nancy.’ He nodded slowly.
‘Nancy, do you think you can protect them, alone? I would rather go with them, Tegan.’ He turned to me.
‘The thought of Violet or Lady Hermione being set upon by vagabonds, without sufficient protection… I don’t think I would forgive myself. After all that has happened.’
Violet clung onto Aunt Bill’s hand, gazing with a look of sheer terror up at William.
He must have seemed like a giant to her, and it can’t have helped matters that she’d seen him fighting with her father.
Although I could guess that Violet didn’t like her father, the violence would still have been difficult for a little girl to see.
‘I want Miss Penrose,’ she said, stubbornly.
‘Poor love. Terrified, she is.’ Aunt Bill shook her head. ‘She’s bonded to me, since I been ’er governess.’ She hunkered down in front of Violet, who regarded her seriously.
‘Now then, Miss Violet,’ Aunt Bill began. ‘What if I takes you ’ome, up to your mother’s folks? You’d be safe there. Would you go with me?’ She watched Violet’s face carefully.
Violet chewed her bread for a moment, thinking. Then, she nodded.
‘All right, then.’ Aunt Bill rested her hand on Violet’s head. ‘No offence, William, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Miss Violet’s just scared of all men, now. If she wants me to go with her, then that’s what I’m going to do.’
‘But we got to go now, then. Through the woods,’ Nancy interrupted.
‘If there’s the four of us, William, we’ll be safe.
Bill an’ I are no strangers to travellin’.
We’re canny, an’ we can protect ourselves.
’ She reached into her stocking and pulled out a savage-looking knife.
‘I carries this, an array o’ poisons, an’ there’s a shotgun in the carriage.
We’ll stay to the back roads an’ the lanes. I knows my way.’
‘I would prefer to accompany you, ladies,’ William said. He turned his gaze to me. ‘Tegan…’
I knew what he wanted to say to me. I could see it in his face.
All of me wanted to scream no, no, no, please don’t leave me. Not again.
But I knew why he had to go with them.
William had to protect Violet and Hermione.
He felt that he’d failed to protect Edith and Elspeth, and, rightly or wrongly, he felt that it was Trevarron blood that was to blame for everything that had happened – therefore, he was to blame.
I knew that he desperately needed to feel that he could redeem himself; that he wasn’t a monster.
No amount of me telling him would convince him.
He had to go with them, and that meant that he would leave me alone with the portal.
‘William, please…’ I pleaded, but he shook his head.
‘You know why I have to go.’
‘They will manage without you. You can stay with me. You can go through the portal with me. Back to your time, if you want to.’ I would go with him.
If it was a choice of losing him forever or returning back to the eighteenth century, at least temporarily, I would take that chance.
But he looked down at his feet and I knew his answer.
‘Tegan, you and I both know that there are no guarantees about where we would end up if we did travel through time together. And you’re right, I don’t belong back in 1755 now. It’s too late. My fate there was sealed when I left.’
‘Then come with me, back to my time. We can try that.’
‘I do not think I would fit in your time. I would seem even more antiquated to you there.’
‘William, that’s rubbish! You are you. I… I love you.’
The words hung in the air between us. He had said it, but I hadn’t, until now.
He looked at me for a long moment, emotion brimming in his eyes.
‘If you love me, then you will let me go,’ he said, finally. He turned away from me, went to the carriage and jumped onto the cab.
‘Time to go, ladies,’ he said. I ran to the carriage and looked up at him.
‘William! You can’t just leave like this! I might never see you again!’
‘I cannot say goodbye to you, Tegan,’ he replied, gruffly, and had I not known him like I did, I would have thought that he was being rude. But, I could see that William was barely holding his heart together in that moment. ‘Please, let me go. Let me do what I must.’
‘But… you dreamed of me. I dreamed of you,’ I said, hopelessly. I knew I was crying and I knew the others were watching us, and I didn’t care. All I cared about was losing William. ‘It must mean something. That we are fated to be together.’
I couldn’t lose him. It was unthinkable.
‘Perhaps it was just that we were meant to meet. Meant to take the journey together that we have.’ He shrugged. I knew he couldn’t be so cold. ‘Nobody knows the full destiny that lies ahead of us. Not even pellars.’ He blinked, and looked away.
‘William, I won’t ask you again. This is the last time – please. Stay with me,’ I begged, the tears running down my cheeks.
‘I cannot, Tegan. But I do love you.’ He turned his face to me and held out his hand. I grasped it desperately. ‘Never forget that. I love you. And whatever destiny lies ahead of me, I am grateful that I knew you, and knew what it was to love again.’
He let go of my hand.