Chapter 5
Five
With her world falling apart, Violet went to the one place where she had always been able to forget her woes and focus on the present, that one place where she was able to make a difference.
That place was the orphanage, and the second that she stepped through its doors, she literally felt the weight of her failure fall from her shoulders so that she could finally breathe.
Also, she needed to see Lucy.
It was after her uncle left that Violet realized how selfish she had been. Since the duke’s proposal, she had spent so much time lamenting her own fortunes that she had not stopped to think about the poor little girl whom she cared for so much.
As bad as Violet’s life was, Lucy’s was even worse, and whatever Violet chose to do, she had to be the reason.
So, as soon as she entered the orphanage, she swept her eyes across the floor and over the children in search. She found Lucy a second later, and while joy was what she had hoped to experience, dread was what visited her instead.
The duke was playing with Lucy.
Violet’s heart stopped when she saw it. She stumbled back.
She almost cried out as if in worry. While she had obviously not forgotten about the duke, she had hoped to delay her decision for a few hours longer.
What was more, she still did not trust him.
So, to see him with Lucy… well, it struck fear into her.
She was about to call out as if to warn the girl away, but as she did, she stopped herself, her words catching in her throat. And that was on account of what she saw.
They sat on the ground together, mere feet away. Between them was a large ball, and the duke pushed it to Lucy, at which point Lucy pushed it back. It looked as if they were playing a game—a most surprising thing—because Lucy never played with anyone.
And while Lucy did not look comfortable, while she looked a little unsure and frightened, that she was playing with the duke at all was enough for Violet to gape and stare and wonder what on earth she was witnessing.
What was more, the duke smiled as he played. He laughed, even if Lucy did not laugh back. He truly looked as if he was enjoying himself. Violet watched at a distance, trying to discern what the duke was doing, what his motives were.
He must be up to something.
But the longer that she watched, the more that she was forced to admit that there was a slim chance she had been wrong about him.
Was it possible that he just wanted the best for Lucy? Was it possible that he cared? And was it possible that he was not like all the other men who had lied and stolen and cheated throughout their life, simply because they could?
It was a few moments later when Lucy saw her.
The little girl’s eyes widened with joy, and she was on her feet, hurrying across the floor with her arms wide open. Violet tore her gaze from the duke and laughed to see the little girl’s happiness. And she laughed further when Lucy wrapped her arms around her legs.
“Did you miss me?” Violet said as she stroked Lucy’s head.
“Yes,” Lucy said, never being one for many words.
“I missed you too.” Violet crouched down and held the girl close. As she did, she looked over her shoulder and watched the duke approach.
He studied them as he did, taking note of the moment.
And the closer that he came, the more his smile grew.
It did not reach his eyes, however, as those remained sad.
But there was an honesty in the way that he looked at them, a sense of relief as if that single hug was a confirmation of Violet’s choice.
“Miss Beaumont,” he said as he reached them. “I was hoping to see you here.”
“I was not expecting to see you,” she said sharply as she stood. “Your Grace,” she then added, just as sharply.
He noted the tone. “I see you still do not trust me?”
“A fact that is unlikely to change anytime soon.”
He studied her further, seemingly looking straight through her. Violet tried to stand tall and proud, determined to appear stronger than she felt. While she had not made her decision yet… well, she knew which way she leaned.
But before she came to a decision, she needed to make sure that the duke was honest, and that she had a reason to trust him, if such a thing was possible.
“I meant to come and see you after my visit here,” he said simply. “It was to be a short visit but…” He smiled down at Lucy. “I got a little distracted. Surely, you cannot blame me for that.”
Lucy glanced at the duke before clutching closer to Violet. He laughed at the gesture as if it were endearing.
“Lucy…” Violet stepped back from the little girl. “I need to speak with His Grace about something. Go outside for a few minutes, dear. I will come find you when I am done.”
Lucy did not look as if she wanted to go. Her expression was pleading, but Violet waved her away. The conversation she meant to have was not for Lucy’s ears, nor did she want the girl around so that the duke might use her to further manipulate the situation.
Lucy reluctantly left them eventually, but she moved slowly. The duke watched her go with a smile on his face the whole time.
If he is lying about his intentions, he is certainly doing a good job of hiding it.
“She was rather hesitant at first,” he began as he turned back, dropping the smile. “But I think that she is starting to like me.”
“Or perhaps she felt that she had no choice,” Violet said. “Personally, I can relate.”
He sighed. “Of course you have a choice, Miss Beaumont. I am not forcing you into anything. But as with all choices, they come with consequences. For you, that means losing your home. For Lucy, it means losing you. And for me…” He turned back as if to look for the little girl.
“Why Lucy?” Violet asked. “You still have not told me the reason. You could adopt any child you wish, but you seem determined that it be her.”
“It must be her.” He turned back, his expression determined.
“But why?”
He did not answer right away. Again, his eyes were sad, and as with the last time, she saw something pass behind them. It looked like a memory, one that brought pain and sorrow that he did a terrible job of hiding.
For a moment, Violet almost felt sorry for him.
“Because loss is not something that one recovers from so easily, and such ghosts—while they might never be truly dealt with—might just be manageable so that their screams can be ignored.”
Violet balked at the response.
It was not an answer, but it was a window into the duke’s motives. Something had happened to him. Violet was sure of it. And whatever that was, he saw Lucy as a way to save him.
So, she is not his child, at least. That is one mystery solved.
“Besides…” The duke blinked and cleared the sadness from his eyes. “Is it not enough that I want to help someone who needs it? And I am not referring to you, Miss Beaumont,” he chuckled. “I sense that you do not want or appreciate help.”
“But you are still trying to use it as leverage against me.”
“It is merely an effect, not the cause. All I want is to help a little girl who needs it. You said that love and affection are what children crave more than most. I like to think I can offer that, but I am also reasonable in my limitations. Where I can provide security, you can give her the love that she needs. It is a win for everyone.”
They had come to exactly where Violet needed them to be. Her answer… it was right on the tip of her tongue… but she could not speak it until she knew for sure what she was getting herself into.
Gosh, she was stubborn! But that had always been her way.
“If I do say yes to this—and that is only if I do…” She widened her eyes at him. “I need to know what is expected of me. We will be man and wife, but what does that mean, exactly?”
The duke smirked at her, and she hated how handsome it made him look. His confidence… how assured he was…
Her heart fluttered just a little.
“Just to set your worries at ease, Miss Beaumont, I am not suggesting a typical marriage. And based on our previous conversations, I daresay that this will not be a love match.” He raised an eyebrow at her as if in question, and she scowled a response.
“I am not asking for love, affection, or even friendship. It is a marriage of convenience only.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that I am doing this for Lucy.” He dropped his eyebrow, and his expression became stern. “Marrying you is the only means I have by which to adopt her. Once I do, and we are wed, your sole purpose will be to do for her what I cannot.”
Violet nodded her understanding as she slowly came to accept what he offered. In truth, she had known that she likely would even before speaking to him, but it was a relief to hear him say it.
“You mean for me to look after Lucy?”
“We both will,” he said. “But what I cannot do, you will. Again, Lucy is who matters, and I expect both of us to do everything that we can to make her know that.”
Violet took a deep breath as she readied to make her own request. She had thought a lot about this, and while she was still hesitant about this whole arrangement, she knew it was for the best. But only under one specific circumstance… again, for Lucy. Always for her.
“As Lucy is your main concern, I have a request of my own.” She forced herself to meet his eyes. “She cannot grow up thinking that she is the reason that you and I are together… that we have forsaken ourselves for her. Or that our happiness and livelihoods are dependent on her entirely.”
“What do you mean?”
“It means that she must believe that we want to be together,” she said as her heart began to flutter.
She knew how this must have sounded, and she just prayed that the duke did not misread her intentions.
“The entire point of her being adopted by a husband and wife is so that she will be raised in a loving household, and that illusion must be kept. Never can she know how we really feel about one another.”
The duke frowned as her words settled on him. He looked at her. She held his gaze, a stern expression, one that dismissed any notion that she was playing some game or trying to trick him.
And, for a brief moment, it looked as if he was about to make a joke—a sly remark about hidden intentions. She braced for that, prepared to dismiss him. The last thing she needed was for him to think that she had other intentions!
“That is a good point,” he said finally and slowly. “Yes, it makes perfect sense. As far as Lucy will be concerned, you and I will be…” He chuckled and shook his head. “Madly in love, and we adopted her after the fact, not before.”
“Good.” Violet breathed a sigh of relief. “So, we are in agreement.”
“We are,” he said simply.
Then they stood there, rather awkwardly, as if not knowing what to say next. And the silence that fell over them, while it was tense, felt so for the wrong reason. Violet looked everywhere but at the duke, but she felt his eyes roaming over her, taking her in as if assessing… or deciding something.
Her heart started to race. Her stomach flipped. And once again, she wondered if this was not the worst idea she had ever had.
“Leave the arrangements to me,” he said to break the silence. “I will organize the license. I will settle the adoption. I will see to your estate and finances. All you need to do, Miss Violet, is arrive at the ceremony on time.” He chuckled. “And not go back on your word.”
“I would never,” she said. “Unlike you, I can be trusted.”
“You still do not trust me?” he frowned.
“Not until you give me reason to,” she fired back.
He looked amused by the statement. “Lucky then that we have the rest of our lives to fix that. This is a good thing, Miss Beaumont. In time, you will see it as so.”
I really do hope so… for Lucy.