Chapter 30
Thirty
It was the following day when Rhys finally paid Violet a visit.
Violet knew that he would come sooner or later. After her conversation with Rose the previous day, she had spent many hours sitting with the anticipation as she tried to reason how she might tell Rhys the truth… not to mention justifying why she had kept that truth from him.
She had her reasons and while she believed that they were good ones, she also knew that they would likely fall on deaf ears.
Any happiness and relief that Rhys was sure to feel when he learned that Lucy was his daughter would surely give way to his anger, and that alone might see a final death blow to any chance they had of repairing their relationship.
Is that even what I want? If given the chance, would I go back to him?
Violet tried her best not to ponder on that final question because it should not have mattered. But after the week she had, it was impossible to dismiss and that if there was even a chance that Rhys might want to try again, she would take it.
At the end of the day, Violet still cared deeply for Rhys, and no amount of lies or excuses would change that.
So, when Rose informed her that Rhys’ carriage was seen pulling up outside the townhouse, Violet braced herself the best that she could. She was in the morning room, pretending to read, and that was where Rhys found her.
“Violet…” He stopped in the doorway when he saw her.
She looked up, pretending to be surprised. “Rhys. What are you doing here?”
He raised a dismissive eyebrow at her. “Am I to believe that you were not expecting me?”
“I…” She shook her head and even allowed a gentle chuckle. “I suppose not. Rose told me that you two spoke, and she told me that I might expect you at some point.”
“Perhaps I should have come sooner,” he said.
“No,” she said. “I feel that this is the right time, for many reasons…” She trailed off, the implication sitting between them.
The week that had passed since she left Rhys had done little to change how Violet viewed the man she still called her husband.
He was just as tall as she remembered. Just as imposing.
And his face was just as square, perfectly symmetrical—a thing of perfection as if drawn by an artist to showcase how true beauty should look.
But there was something else about Rhys that Violet noticed the longer that she looked at him standing in the doorway. It was how the sun shone across his face. It was how his eyes sparkled in the light. It was his smile… his relaxed stance… the happiness that she felt in his presence.
He was no longer as detached or distant as he used to be. He no longer tried to hide his feelings, as if he had none to begin with. She had never seen him so effortlessly uncaring and even joyful.
It had been only one week, but Rhys had changed beyond her wildest imagination.
As I knew he could… as he now knows is not only possible, but right.
“How have you been?” he began, still lingering in the doorway. “Are you well?”
“Well enough.” Her smile was earnest because despite how worried she was, or how bad her week had been, just being around Rhys again did much to dispel those concerns. “And you?”
“Me?” He smiled back, and she saw the truth of her perception. He really was happy. “Things are going well, Violet. And not just for me, but for Lucy. She is… we are happy.”
“I am glad to hear it.”
She was glad to hear it, but that did little to soften the stabbing pain that pierced her heart. While this was what she wanted, she wished that she might be a part of that happiness.
Violet was always one to put others before herself, but this was the first time that she dared to question if that was the right thing to do. Why could she not be happy and look out for others? Why did it always have to be one or the other?
“Rose said there was something you wished to speak to me about?”
“Not here.” Violet closed her book and stood from the chair. “The weather is…” She looked outside to check the weather, and while it was sun drenched and warm, she noticed storm clouds gathering on the horizon. “Well, it has been better, but it is not so bad either. Perhaps a walk in the garden?”
“I would like that.”
“As would I.”
There was no denying that it was awkward between them both. While there was a sense of comfort and familiarity, there was also a sense that they walked on eggshells. Desperate to keep the peace and not say the wrong thing, Violet could feel Rhys’ hesitancy, as she could feel her own.
It felt in some ways like a stand-off, with both waiting to see who would break first. She hoped it was him, because that would make things easier…
They walked through the house together, saying nothing.
Next, they stepped outside in the back garden, and Violet led the way onto the stone footpath that wound through the verdant grounds. It was a small garden compared to the one back at the estate, but it was still pretty, full of life, and it would certainly do for now.
As they walked, Rhys fell in step beside Violet, and she was brought back to that night after the ball.
It was the last time that she and Rhys had spoken honestly, and she could not help but wonder if this would be a repeat of that night…
Would it end with the same happiness, or would it end in tragedy?
“You said that Lucy is doing well?” As they walked, Violet looked ahead, daring small glances at Rhys as she did.
The smile that found his lips was one of pride. “She is. I’ll admit, that first day…” He grimaced. “It was not easy, Violet. But we were able to move past it, and I am pleased to say that she and I have never been closer.”
“I could not be happier to hear it, Rhys,” she said. “Truly. That you and she have been able to grow so close is all I wanted. And not just for her, but for you.”
“I know that, Violet.”
“I mean it,” she said with more force. “I know it has not been easy for you, as I know how much you struggle between what you think you must do and what you want to do. I hope that by now you have come to see that…” She laughed and shook her head.
“That you have been able to find the joy in caring for someone, and not because you believe they need it, but because you need it too. If that makes sense.”
“More than you know,” he admitted. “I cannot help but remember that night you found me by Lucy’s cot, how I told you that I…” He hesitated, and she sensed him stiffen as they walked. “When I took Lucy in, I did it because I thought it would make me feel better. It was selfish of me—”
“No,” she cut him off. “It was not selfish.”
“It was,” he affirmed. “But this past week, I have come to realize that what matters most is Lucy, and that she might be cared for and loved… that is what brings me joy.”
Violet continued to glance at Rhys as they walked, and she had no doubt that he was telling the truth. It was confirmation that she had done the right thing, even if it was the hardest thing that she had ever had to do.
“I feel I should apologize,” she started next. “For leaving the way I did. It was…” She looked away. “I did not want it to be like that, but I felt that it had to be.”
“I would be lying if I said I was not mad at you,” Rhys admitted. “But I understand why you did it. As always, you acted with the right intention…” He laughed. “Which is what I learned from.”
“You have no idea how hard it was for me.”
“I know it was…” Rhys started to slow down until he stopped.
Violet noticed a moment later, and she turned to find him looking at her with sadness.
Not judgment. Not dismissal. It was as if he understood the answer well enough but struggled to reason with it.
“You did not have to leave as you did, Violet. I know that things between you and I were…” He trailed off awkwardly.
“I did not leave because of us, Rhys,” Violet said, even if it was only half true. “Always, it was for Lucy.”
“And now that Lucy’s future is assured,” he pressed gently. “You wished to prove that I might be able to care for her… to love her. Now that I have done that, what comes next?”
“Next?” Her heart started to beat quickly.
He continued to look at her as if trying to see through her words to the truth behind them.
“The week before you left, I… I acted in a way that at the time I thought to be right, but I now realize it was not just wrong, but horrid. I dismissed you, and after I had…” He winced and looked down at his feet.
“I have not forgotten what I said to you in the garden that night.”
Her heart beat so quickly that it hurt. And while Violet wanted to give herself over to those feelings that swirled within, because she knew what they meant, just as she knew where Rhys was going, she could not do so yet.
Again, there was the constant urge to do the right thing… even if it spelled out her doom.
“Nor have I,” she said, pushing down the urge to tell him how she felt. “And I will not lie, Rhys. That week was… it hurt. To be treated like that, and after the things you said—”
“I was scared,” Rhys cut her off. “I… I was misguided. For so long, I believed that to accept someone into my life was to hurt them. That the only possible future for anyone whom I grew close with was pain and suffering. I felt it best that they should have nothing to do with me. That was the reason I acted that way.”
“I know.”
“But now…” He dared a smile, and she saw in his eyes the reflection of the words he was yet to speak.
“I have changed, Violet, and you are the reason. And if you do not hate me for what I did…” He let the smile grow.
“When Rose told me that you wished to see me, I wondered at the reason. In truth, I do not care, because I wanted to see you. It is I who wants—”
“Wait,” Violet cut over him. “Please, wait.”
The conversation with Rhys until that point was more than Violet could have hoped for. It was proof that Rhys had changed, and proof that her feelings for him were not misplaced.