Chapter 52
Kitty spotted James sitting at a table with views across the beach.
He lounged in his chair, his legs spread wide as though he was the master of the world.
Kitty paused, wondering if she could run home and pretend none of this was happening.
Her body flexed, she was ready to bolt when James waved and fixed her with a smile she had once upon a time fallen for.
He pointed to a bottle of champagne sitting in an ice bucket, two glasses beside it.
Although the hotel terrace wasn’t crowded, there were enough occupied tables for Kitty to wish she hadn’t picked such a public place for this reunion. She licked her dry lips. It was done now, and she had to see it through.
With a curt nod, she walked to the table and sat down.
Even the view couldn’t calm her on this occasion, despite the sea glittering like a jeweller’s counter beneath the afternoon sun.
The turquoise beneath the shimmer looked more Caribbean than Cornwall.
Shades of paradise that felt more like hell in James’s company.
James kept the smile going while he made a great show of opening the champagne, the cork flying over the balustrade to the beach below.
He grinned at Kitty, filled two glasses, and handed one to her.
She kept her own hands clasped tightly in her lap, and with a small shrug, James set her glass in front of her.
‘Suit yourself,’ he said. ‘It’s the best champagne this backwater of a place could offer.’
He lifted his own glass, tilted it in her direction, and with a ‘cheers’, took his first sip.
‘I’m not sure why you’re celebrating,’ said Kitty, working hard on keeping her voice level and pushing away the shake that threatened to derail her speech.
‘Aren’t I allowed to celebrate seeing you for the first time in months? I love you, Catherine. I thought you understood that.’
‘You don’t treat someone the way you treated me if you love them,’ said Kitty. She dug her nails into her palms, her skin stinging.
James’s eyes dipped to the table, and his shoulders sagged. ‘I know. And I confess no amount of champagne will make up for the way I treated you.’
Kitty instinctively leaned forward a fraction. He was apologising? In the five years they’d been together, he had never apologised.
James lifted his eyes and locked Kitty with his gaze. ‘I treated you terribly. And I’m so, so sorry. From the bottom of my heart, Catherine. Please believe me.’
‘Believe you?’ said Kitty, with an eyebrow raised. ‘Believe you? You effectively kept me prisoner for the last two years of our marriage, James. You took everything from me. My friends, my family, my hobbies, my life.’
‘Your life?’ scoffed James. ‘If I’d taken your life, you wouldn’t be sitting here in front of me.’
Kitty sat back in her chair. There he was. The true James. Kitty sat up straighter. She could see right through him. His control over her was slipping.
James shook his head. ‘Sorry, sorry. You always make me do this,’ he said. ‘Nope,’ he corrected himself. ‘Nope, it’s not your fault. It’s mine.’ His face fell into what Kitty assumed was meant to be humility. ‘Catherine, I’ve had so much therapy since you left.’
‘Therapy?’ Kitty couldn’t help laughing. ‘You, in therapy?’
James lifted his hands in the air in an act of surrender.
‘I know, I know. I wouldn’t have believed it myself, but it’s true.
A week after you left, I pulled myself together and decided I needed to change.
I realised you left because of me. I got that it was my fault. And I’m here to make things right.’
A boyish, smiling eagerness replaced the humble face, as if he’d said his set piece and now Kitty simply had to say, Bravo, and all would be as it was.
A wave of sadness washed through her. ‘You can’t make it right, James. In time I might forgive you.’ She didn’t return his smile. ‘I’ll never be able to forget.’
‘Catherine.’ He reached across the table to her.
She refused to meet his fingers, interlocking her own on her lap as tightly as if they were padlocked.
James let out a long sigh. ‘I get it. You’re never going to believe me.’
‘Then why did you come?’ said Kitty. ‘You didn’t arrive today. You’ve been hanging around Saffron Bay for a while.’ She warmed to her accusations, tired of it all. ‘Was it to taunt me? To frighten me? Or because you’re jealous of the life I’ve created for myself here?’
‘No,’ said James. ‘That wasn’t it at all.’ He peered up at her from lowered lids. ‘I’ve come because of Rae.’
‘Rae?’ Kitty leaned forward, placing her hands on the table. James grabbed one of them. He squeezed it, and as he did so, a tear tripped from the corner of his eye down his cheek. ‘What’s wrong with Rae?’ Kitty asked.
James let out another long sigh. ‘I shouldn’t be here.
I shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s not your business anymore.
I just… I just… I had to talk to someone.
’ James’s shoulders shook, and fat, blob-like tears dropped onto the table.
Kitty had never seen James cry, not actual tears.
Not like these. Other customers stared, but he didn’t seem to notice.
‘What’s happened, James?’ Her voice was tight with fear.
‘Rae… it’s Rae. She’s ill. She’s very ill.’
‘Oh my God.’ Kitty pulled her hand from James’s grasp and cupped her chin. ‘Poor Rae. What’s wrong with her?’
‘The doctors haven’t found out yet.’ He pulled a tissue from his pocket and wiped his eyes. ‘She’s been having excruciating stomach pains, and so far they’ve not been able to diagnose the cause. I’ve been going out of my mind with worry. And the thing is, Catherine… Rae’s been asking for you.’
‘For me?’ Kitty’s eyes stung with tears. She believed Rae would hate her, and she couldn’t blame her if she did.
‘Yes. She doesn’t understand why you left. She thinks you left her.’
‘I hope you put her straight.’ He wouldn’t have, of course. Wicked stepmother.
‘I tried,’ said James. ‘Believe me. My therapist helped me work on a speech to explain things to her. She’s too young, Catherine. She doesn’t… she couldn’t understand. And now she’s ill, and I thought…’
‘You thought what?’ said Kitty. ‘I’d run into your arms? Come and play happy families again? Because trust me, James, we were never a happy family.’
‘No,’ he said. ‘No, that’s not it at all. I thought you’d want to know.’
‘And once you’d tracked me down, you couldn’t have phoned me to tell me?’
‘I felt you deserved to be told in person.’
‘And telling me in person involved sending me threatening messages and stalking me?’
James pursed his mouth and frowned. ‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.’
There was no point accusing him of lying. Instead she said, ‘Right, well, I appreciate you coming and telling me. But now you have, I’d… I’d like it if you left.’
‘I’ve booked in here for the night.’ James dropped the damp tissue into the ice bucket and pointed to the pub. ‘I wasn’t sure if you’d talk to me straight away, so I… I thought it best to stay.’
‘There was no need for that,’ Kitty said. ‘I’ll cover the cost of your hotel, and you can leave now.’
‘I think I’ll stay,’ said James, a hint of the familiar steel returning to his voice. ‘In case you have questions.’ His voice softened once more.
‘If I have questions, I can call you,’ said Kitty.
‘Fair enough,’ said James. ‘I’ll be here until ten o’clock tomorrow morning when I check out. If you want to talk again, I’ll be here.’
Kitty regarded him with surprise. ‘You’re letting me go?’ she asked. ‘You’re not going to try to stop me? You’re not finding an excuse to keep me here with you? You’re not trying to worm your way into staying at my house?’
‘I told you,’ said James. ‘I’ve been in therapy. I’m a different man from the one you left all those months ago.’
All those months? It wasn’t all those months.
In fact, it could be measured in weeks. Kitty didn’t believe James could have changed so much in such a short time.
‘I’m going now,’ she said, standing, her glass of champagne untouched.
‘It’s best we communicate via email. This is my new email address.
’ She scribbled the address on a napkin and passed it to him.
‘I am so sorry to hear about Rae. And I’d appreciate you keeping me informed. Goodbye, James.’
‘Goodbye, Catherine. Thank you for meeting me. It was good to see you again. Don’t be a stranger.’
Kitty didn’t respond. She didn’t look back as she turned and left the terrace.