17. Selena
Selena
Ishove my keycard into the hotel room door with shaking hands. It takes three tries before the stupid thing flashes green.
The second I’m inside, I lock the door behind me and lean against it, sucking in a breath that doesn’t fill my lungs. Instead, it leaves me gasping for air, feeling as if I’m suffocating.
My chest hurts. My brain hurts.
This can’t be real.
It just can’t. The men I slept with…
My stomach twists violently.
They weren’t just any men. Two… no fuck… three people who I fucked with the knowledge that I’d never see them ever again.
No, that would be too easy, and my life thrived on complications. No, these men had to be my new stepbrothers.
My stepbrothers.
I squeeze my eyes shut hard enough to see stars. Hoping that when I open them it will be me waking from a dream. That this whole day would be my very own version of Groundhog Day with the repeat not including the men I slept with now being my family.
I thought of those encounters as amazing, wonderful, and unexpected. I felt wanted. But to them I was just a woman they fucked. A slut who opened her legs to them. Nothing more.
When Mom and I were done with our pictures, she ordered me to go find my new brothers.
I tried to get out of it, but then she started to open her mouth and I knew facing them would be less of a hassle than defying her request. So, I sucked up my pride and went to find them.
That’s when I overheard them talking and ran back with an excuse of not being able to locate them.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Why do I care so much about what they think of me? They were just a body to fill a need. But even I don’t believe that lie. I felt something. But they didn’t. Maybe it’s a good thing. They’re brothers, and there are three of them. Math just isn’t mathing.
A laugh bubbles up, sharp and broken, because of course this would happen to me. Of course. My entire life feels like one giant cosmic joke where I’m the punchline.
And when Mom finds out, because people always find out, she’ll have even more to ridicule me for. Another reason to add to her growing list of how I’m ruining her life. She’ll look at me with that disappointed expression she’s perfected over years and years and years.
I can hear all the things she’ll say now.
You embarrass me. Couldn’t you try harder? Maybe if you lost weight. Why do you insist on ruining everything?
And this?
This will be ammunition forever. I will be just what the three of them called me. A slut.
Just one more thing I’ve done to destroy her perfect life. A sob escapes before I can stop it.
“There’s no way,” I whisper to the empty room. “There’s no fucking way I’m staying.”
I move before I can think. My hand already reaches for my suitcase and throws it onto the bed as my plan to escape forms. Not a second is wasted throwing everything into it. Any thought of organized packing gone.
My hands shake so badly I drop my phone twice trying to unlock it. I need to reschedule my flight. I don’t even care what the outrageous cost will be. But then I remember Abel and Mom paid for the flight. Will they be alerted if I change it?
“Fuck!!!” I cry out.
Nope, I can’t let her know I’m leaving. Sucking it up, I pull out my emergency credit card and book a red-eye flight out of here.
Minutes crawl by as I stay hidden inside my room. I shower because I need to wash off everything—the memory of their hands, their mouths—and I stand under scalding water until my skin turns pink.
Two hours later, I know this is my time to escape. The reception will be in full swing and I easily slide out the front door.
I order a ride and head downstairs to check out.
There’s no way I intend to have Abel charged for nights I won’t be in the room.
Even if he may be a fool for being with my mother.
He seemed nice, but appearances can be deceiving.
I thought my new—I hate even saying the word—stepbrothers were different, but when I’m not around they let out their true thoughts of me.
I check out at the desk with a strained smile.
“No issues with your stay?” the woman asks politely.
I almost laugh.
“No,” I croak. “Everything was great.”
Lie. But she doesn’t need to know that. If it were just me and the hotel, my stay would have been amazing.
It’s the people who come with the stay that give it a one star rating.
She gives me a warm smile and I turn and head for the door.
The quicker I leave, the safer I will feel.
Being in the lobby right now makes me an open target for my mother to walk out and see me. Or them.
Outside, the cool evening air hits my face.
I’m going to be sitting at the airport for hours, but it beats being here.
I hide near a line of trees bordering the hotel drive until my rideshare arrives. Only when I’m inside the car, pulling away from the hotel, can I breathe. I don’t look back because there’s no one there to support me. Who really loves me.
I sit in silence until we reach the airport.
“Here we are, ma’am,” the driver says softly as he gets out of the car and heads to the trunk to get my bags.
“Thank you,” slips from my lips as he hands me my luggage.
“You’re welcome. I hope you enjoyed your stay.”
I smile. Because I don’t have an answer for him. This was my worst nightmare come to life.
Taking hold of the luggage handles, I head inside.
The bright lights of the airport nearly blind me as the loud echoing sounds of strangers living normal lives fill my ears.
A small part of me wonders if there’s one person around me whose life is as insane as mine.
Who has a verbally abusive parent and slept with their step-siblings.
Guess I’ll never know.
I check my bags and make my way through the security checkpoint, then head to my gate.
A couple argues over snacks at one of the stores and I can’t help but smile. If only obtaining the perfect sweet treat were my biggest problem.
A kid cries. Someone laughs too loudly as the world around me keeps spinning like mine hasn’t split open.
I sit at my gate and finally turn my phone back on. Regret hits me immediately as notifications explode across the screen. Texts. Missed calls. Messages.
I skip all of them. Every single one. There’s nothing in them I want to hear or read right now. Nothing that would make this day better.
Instead, I open my contacts and send a message to the only person I trust.
Me: I fucked up.
His reply comes almost instantly.
Sam: That bad?
My throat tightens. Then everything spills out.
Me: Mom was on level 2000 but that wasn’t the worst. The two men I slept with…
Sam: Yes…
Me: Well it was 3. Turns out the one night stand has a twin.
Sam: Girl, slap me silly and call that a present. Since when is it a problem having too much man meat to be a sandwich in?
Me: When they are my new stepbrothers.
Sam: .......
Me: Exactly.
Me: And, I overheard them say I was just a slut. A woman who will open her legs for anyone.
Sam: I’m going to kill them. I’ll put the hit out on the dark web as we speak. Just give me their names.
Me: No. But can you pick me up from the airport?
Sam: Send me your flight info.
I just sit there taking in how great my bestie is. My eyes drift around the gate looking at all the happy people, wishing I was one of them. My phone vibrates in my hand, bringing me back to the present.
Sam: Seriously, Selly. I’m picking you up.
I type back immediately. Sending him the information. Tears sting my eyes. Sam isn’t related to me, yet he treats me like family. More than my own mother does. He’s the one person who is always by my side, never judging, always there and being supportive.
Sam: I’ll be there.
And I don’t have one single doubt that he won’t.
When I land, Sam’s already at the baggage claim waiting for me, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, two coffees in hand and looking exhausted. I already know he’s barely slept, not wanting to miss the flight. Wanting to make sure that I’m okay.
I’m not.
The second he sees me his face changes. His jaw tightens at the same time his eyes soften. I make it three steps toward him before breaking down. He wraps his arms around me, careful not to spill the contents in the cups.
“I’ve got you,” he murmurs.
The loud blaring sound of the carousel alerts us that the bags are coming out.
“Here, take these, Babe. I’ll get your bag.” He hands me the cups and steps toward the metal contraption as luggage begins to circulate on it.
Sam doesn’t have to ask which one is mine. He knows. We’ve been on so many trips together and he was the one to place the neon green luggage tag on it.
Once he has my bag, he steps over to me, slips his free hand around my waist, and guides me out of the airport.
I cry all the way to his car and on the drive to my apartment. Sam doesn’t tell me not to shed tears about what happened. He holds my hand, letting me go through all the emotions. Letting me grieve for what’s happened.
When we get to my apartment, he parks the car in the lot beside mine and opens his door. “I can walk myself up,” I tell him through sniffs.
“No. Jose already knows that I’m staying with you. I have all the things we need, including chocolate and wine, and we’re going to lay in bed and watch all the horror movies. Then when you’re ready to tell me everything that happened, we’ll talk about this weekend.”
This man. This sweet man is more than I could’ve ever wished for.
“Why can’t you be straight?” I ask him, a smile finally breaking through the tears.
“Because pussy makes me break out in hives and my throat swell up. Doesn’t mean I can’t be your lavender boyfriend. Jose too.” Sam winks and pops the trunk of his car, taking out my luggage and the plastic bags I didn’t notice that were sitting beside them.
We head inside, climbing the stairs that suck all the energy I have left out of me. By the time we reach my bed, all my tears are shed and I throw back the blankets, put on my pajamas and get inside.
Sam steps into the room with the bags and two glasses. He kicks off his shoes and climbs in beside me, picking up the remote off my nightstand.
“Okay, so what’s first, Selly? How about a Scream marathon?” He turns his head, nothing but seriousness on his face.
“Sounds perfect.”
Once he has it playing he pours us each a glass of wine. He hands me mine and I swallow it down, not even taking a moment to breathe as I do it. Once I’m done, I hand the empty glass back to him and roll over, curling into his body.
Sam wraps his arm around me, dragging his fingertips up and down my arm, comforting me.
He does just as he says. He doesn’t ask questions or pressure me to talk.
My eyes stay on the movie until they slowly close, and I drift off to sleep.